Really bad panic/depression attacks

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CloudLayer
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

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Joined: 27 Mar 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Female
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22 Apr 2012, 10:21 pm

Lately panic attacks have been creeping up on me out of nowhere. I get a distressing thought in my head and suddenly my head is burning like I have a fever and I hyperventilate and get a sick feeling in my stomach and I just stand there thinking the same thought over and over again, or a thought chain that brings me to things I do my best to control against thinking of when I'm in control of my thought process, cause they're my worst fears. It happens a lot of times a day. It's not an irrational fear but based on reality and/or on what for all I know could very well be reality.

I also sometimes get a heart arrhythmia during this where I can't breathe for a few seconds not due to the hyperventilation but due to my heart stopping for a bit. My vision sometimes gets black and I have to lie down to avoid falling.

I know these are just panic attacks because I've gone to the hospital while having one and they said there were not physiological signs of distress, only panic, but I don't know how a sporadic heart arrhythmia fits into that, hopefullly that's somehow stress-related also.

I have been trying to suppress a lot of distressing thoughts and feelings because I was feeling them with no end in sight and it was really painful and wearing me down, but as a result they're coming out in completely uncontrolled bursts that are closer to seizures than anything I've experienced before, what with the heart stopping aspect. I don't know a way of handling emotions that doesn't overwhelm me and I've never had to deal with this level of painful emotion that I have to deal with at this point in my life.

I am not good at suppressing the feelings anyway because the rest of the time they come out as anxiety and depression centered on body image in the form of my body dysmorphia, which I made another post about. The thoughts just switch subject instead of going away.

I know this was long and that I already made another recent post in this section but it is affecting me a lot and I wish I knew how to handle it. I feel like I have a very deep (psychological) wound that will not heal and I have no idea how to make it heal but I literally can't go on with this much distress on a daily basis.



monsterland
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22 Apr 2012, 10:56 pm

Something slipped "fear" into your subconscious, and now it's running in circles.

First, go to your physician and get prescribed a mild dose of Xanax (0.25mg). Take it when the symptoms are the worst. Quit after 2 weeks (it should be enough to beat down your panic attack).

Second, do a lot of walks in nature meanwhile. Long walks.

Third, you need to reconcile the reality that IS, with reality you wish it would've been. You need to find some peace, so your subconscious stops freaking out. I recommend the book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now". Don't scoff. Read it.



CloudLayer
Deinonychus
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Joined: 27 Mar 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 308

23 Apr 2012, 11:32 am

Thank you, monsterland.

I was on Xanax earlier this year for a little and it didn't go well, even on a low dose it made me sleep all the time which put me in a fog that increased me depression.

Walks in nature I would do but as part of my body dysmorphia I have a phobia of sun exposure. I can wait for rainy days. I know these sound like dumb excuses but they're what prevent me from getting better most of the time. I really enjoy walking which makes it really frustrating that I have to wait til it's dead cloudy to not panic about UV rays (and even then the clouds don't block all UV rays).

I will find The Power of Now to read, it sounds very helpful, I am grateful for the suggestion.