Upset by the suggestion that aspies dislike NTs

Post Reply New Topic

I'm all shaken up and upset, so I thought perhaps I could let off steam here in the Haven. I don't want to raise it in the GAD forum as the last thing I want is a heated debate on the topic.

There have been a few threads recently on WP where it has been suggested that aspies dislike or even hate NTs. That idea really upsets me - for a start, that sort of comment is based on a stereotype and generalisation, plus it seems to imply that aspies don't even try to get along in an NT world, they just spend their lives despising NTs. Makes it sound like we have some sort of a crusade going on!

Personally, I think there's a huge difference between struggling to understand an NT world and trying to conform to NT expectations, and disliking actual individuals. As I see it, it's not a personal thing - us vs them, it's more to do with being part of a minority group within society.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive and naive or am just misunderstanding what people have posted - I readily accept that may be the case! But I really needed to get this off my chest!

Thank you. I agree with this so much. I cannot understand the hostility -- it really is just as stereotype-filled and prejudiced as when the tables are turned.

Anyway, there's not really a strict demarcation between the two. It's more a sliding scale of grey.

I've recently come to realise that alot of negative traits that I associated with NTs are in fact not typical at all.
My personal experience includes being ostracised and aggressively bullied by almost every member of my biofamily, with the assertion that they are very much the normal ones. This led me to the wrong conclusion, and a very suspicious, distrusting attitude of those claiming normalcy.

So many of us who are different in one way or another may be coming from a similar background, which would explain where the general negative stereotyping of NTs comes from.
As Aspies, we really need to set our capacity for logic onto this one, rather than blindly reacting and running...

I am currently enjoying the realisation that being NT actually means being clear of brutality, and in fact healthy, capable of positive social understanding and interaction.
I have posted about this elsewhere because it really does seem to be a prevalent misconception.

Take heart lundygirl, I'm pretty sure it really is more of a temporary reaction to being hurt, rather than a crusade. And if it is a crusade, then the message needs to get out now that NT is indeed about being decent as well as socially capable.

I hope that makes sense.

I would say that the only people I dislike are neurotypical. It is not because they are NT - I'm sure I could find an aspie I didn't like.

My general attitude towards NTs is something I haven't considered. Sure, sometimes I think some things devised for an NT world could be better if based on aspie thinking, but it doesn't go beyond that.

Possibly some people AS have taken on this attitude to 'make sense of' the possible negative perceptions of most NTs. Meaning: some aspies do dislike NTs because they feel treated differently/wrongly by the majority. They could believe that simply through a few bad experiences.

Why exactly upset? Is it that you feel like you personally have been put down as an 'NT hater', or that you feel people with AS are generally viewed as disliking everything 'not their own'? Personally, I would dismiss the claim, similar to how I would dismiss the claim that all aspies like NTs. Even with statistical proof, it can only be said for certain that a proportion of the test group felt more one way than the other.

This is it isn't it - Most people are NT out there, and there are both good and bad NTs, just as there are good and bad Aspies
But people remember the negative things more than the positives when creating perceptions!

If I hated NT's I'd live a much duller life.

Well I don't see why I should hate someone for being neurotypical.....but maybe some neurotypicals get that impression from some of the 'autism/aspergers superiority crap some posters have thrown around.

I think a lot of people don't hate NT's, so much as dislike NT behaviour. In the same vein a lot of NT's seem to dislike autistic/aspie behaviour. Some of us can understand NT behaviour better than others, so can make more 'allowances for it', for some us it's still completely confusing, so we just can't.

I'm not saying that's all of the problem, or even the crux of the matter, but I think that's part of it.

A lot of the 'NT' threads depress me because they seem prejudicial.

If you notice a fairly high amount of the people that say how people that are nonautistic are dumb or evil are not here anymore, I think, haven't been around very long (but lurked for a while). I guess a lot of their views get them banned

Since I don't know a single other person with Asperger's or Autism (except maybe my nephew, whom I very seldom see), I would have to deeply hate everyone I know if I believed in that stupid NT stereotype, including my parents, my brother, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, everybody! That's a lot of hate towards people I actually love and care about. I'm also sure if I met another person with Asperger's they may seriously rub ME the wrong way! They may talk on and on about a special interest I have couldn't care less about like iPhone or Angry Birds or something.

I have a problem believing in the existence of hate. If a person behaves in a way I dislike, I cant hate him/her for it because if I think about it I can understand anybodies point of view, and especially because of egoism I often find myself feeling sorry for people instead. Ive been treated maximum badly by people and I still cant define hate. Only stupidity. Probably those individuals who "think" they hate, have another problem which only concerns themselves. I believe that if you're satisfied with yourself, you dont waste energy hating others, because it becomes superfluous.

Thank you all for your comments and feedback, it has helped a lot.
I know my reaction was an emotional one as much as anything else - I just don't like stereotypes and stuff like that. We are all entitled to our own opinion, and that's to be respected, but I really believe that comments like 'aspies dislike NTs' are just not helpful!

lundygirl,
I got emailed by a moderator about my post in the haven:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... 37#4558637

the moderator said that this posting is my attempt at 'manipulation.' Are my feelings any less valid than anyone else's? Do I have less of a 'soul' than anyone else?

What the moderator said stuck with me all day, it hurt my feelings. There is definitly a double standard. Ranting against NT's is perfectly permitted here. If you're an NT in this wrong planet, you're the outcast. How ironic.

I give everyone a fair go, I don't care if they're mental, not mental, AS, Asperger's or otherwise. I don't care, but if you s**t on me and I haven't got enough of myself invested in you to give a f**k, then you can go f**k yourself.

In my experience everyone's got something or other, diagnosed or not.

^This does appear to be the case.