Stop acting ret*d...

Post Reply New Topic

I had a really bad argument with my roommate the other day. Really pissed her off. She was having issues with her tablet not scrolling properly no matter the website she used and I asked her similar questions four times. She got mad and asked why I always had to aggravate her when she was already upset and make her look like a bad guy. That she wished I would stop acting ret*d when it suits me and that I always make her feel like a fool when she thinks she believed I had anything like autism.

Told me there was no way I did not understand her the first time, let alone asked the same thing four times that I never listen to the words that come out of her mouth and she wished I'd stop acting ret*d.

(apparently when i get nervous and stutter or shy away from arguments im being ret*d).

I want to live in an island, all by myself with a computer and box of crackers.

people say all sorts of mean stuff they don't necessarily mean when they are frustrated. if she called you a chair, you wouldn't be a chair. don't take her seriously, although a computer and a box of crackers on an island doesn't sound half bad. i'd take a fishing pole, too.

I'd also take offence if I was told that I was acting ret*d.

Sweet Pea hugs

[quote="Mirror21"That she wished I would stop acting ret*d when it suits me and that I always make her feel like a fool when she thinks she believed I had anything like autism.[/quote]

This is very hurtful. She should not let her frustration with the tablet cause her to say things like this to you.

I'd like to join you on the island ... are cats allowed?

I wouldn't think I was a chair or a ret*d but it still hurt. People always act like i am a misfit or hurtful on purpose. It gets tiring.

They don't understand how much strain it is to "act fit in". And when I don't they think i just opt to be off. I dunno. Sometimes I am just tired of being tired

Thanks for the hugs!

She was out of line saying that to you, and it's okay to tell her that she was out of line. Then accept whatever apology or partial apology she's able to give (and that's the zen of it all, and I struggle with this part). It's also okay if it feels right to say in three days, you know you hurt me the other day, and then also accept whatever apology she's able to give.

Now, this does seem to be a design flaw in NT people! From your perspective, you asked similar questions. From her perspective, or what it felt like to her, was that it was the same question. So, the design flaw seems to be that neurotypical people lack a certain kind of patience. And instead of getting into a debate of whether they're right or whether we're right, let's try and sidestep all that. A person needs space, I can give him or her space (unless the most pressing of circumstances).

You should tell her that if she's going to say such mean and hurtful things to you (when I assume you were trying to help her with her tablet), and if she can't accept your autism, then you won't try helping her with it anymore.

That'd be the last time I helped her with anything, personally.
Or at least next time she asks for help, make it very clear that you aren't going to tolerate any form of abuse.

After incidents like that it is more amusing watching someone flounder, fail, and wind themselves up when they refuse to comprehend what's involved with the technological platform and components they are dealing with.

We sort of have an understanding when it comes to me helping. I usually help her with her homework and what not. I do chores mostly while she helps manage our money and make sure stuff gets paid.

Not like I haven't been called mean things before. Been happening most of my life. Sometimes its hard being a girl that is not "in tune" with girls, or boys, or people in general.

I remember once she told me she could not believe that I had a problem paying attention to her talking, or anything like that, yet I could sit by myself for hours and "doodle squiggles".

She really does not get it I don't think. Being able to zone out. Sometimes not having a choice but to clock out so to speak. She says i am optionally selfish and self-absorbed.

God yesterday we where talking at a parking lot, she told me how selfish I was, how I don't listen how I have to always make her feel like crap. made me feel so bad. She told me if i can fake being social I can do it for real.

I told her I didn't want to just be fake with her she is my BFF. She said "if you can tell someone you care and treat them like crap . . . you are already fake to me".

I think she is getting tired of having to handle my . . . issues? And I don't blame her. I have thought about going away, but I don't have anywhere else to go and if I talk to her about it I KNOW she is going to say I am being selfish again and blowing s**t out of proprotion. She is always telling me something's got to give and I don't know how to fix it.

Well, sometimes she asks like she understands and even does things to make me happy. Like she will suggest we go a place I like, like a book store, or ask me what I would like for dinner if we are getting take out.
Last night one of our roommates kept repeating this word that started to annoy me and I found crude and I told him (will admit I was probably rude) how much can I pay you to stop saying that.
She came out and said “How much can we pay you to stop telling us your stories”.
It is a repeated complaint around here that I talk about the same stuff over and over. I try not to, but when it seems like it fits the conversation I use them. I try to be you know a participating member of the conversation or whatever you wish to call it.
So I decided then and there I will probably just keep my mouth shut.
Everyone here has now gotten the liking to call me “Mouth”.
She says she has been understanding of my issues but that she does not believe I have the issues I claim or that they are nowhere near as bad as I wish to make them to get away with being a brat.
I was like, what a load of crock!
Example:
Her cellphone was on the bed and the alarm whent off. I was sitting beside it. I reached for it to turn it off because I was close, did not hear her say “I got it” so we both reached for it at the same time.
She went: “You see? The day just started and you are already bringing me down. You bring me down every time I am happy about something. You just can’t let me be happy one day.”
She says I am getting worse. I feel it is getting harder to act in a way that I don’t turn around and piss someone off.
She says I have no problem being social to strangers why do I act stupid at home.
I was like: “Well, being superficial and polite isn’t hard, being communicative with someone you have known for seven years does not work if you are superficial.”
She said that was BS . .. that’s when I stop trying to make a point across.
She says I ALWAYS argue. I say I was just explaining she goes no, if you state anything that negates what the other individual is saying its an argument. Look it up.
Good grief, I am more frustrated than I thought I was!

Seven years? How in the world did you managed? I'd get the hell outta there right now. You're only putting yourself through more abuse if you ride it out and I speak from personal experience. It's quite clear your roommate will turn any situation you throw to victimize herself and won't listen to any form of reason.

I guess its hard to describe because she is not always an evil person. Or inconsiderate. I think of her more being really picky. She has always been this way. Things have just been worse since I had a serious breakdown a few years back. Plus I cant live alone. I have nowhere to go, I dont know how to handle money, and she is my friend and I love her.