Negative Experiences with Doctors

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So yesterday I accompanied my "mother-in-law" to see her GP and made an appointment for myself to get a second opinion about abdominal distention I've had my entire life and lower left abdominal pain that began earlier this year (gets worse when I eat nuts, seeds, potatoe chips--any hard, sharp foods). The initial doctor I saw earlier this year thinks it might be a case of IBS-C (considering I have a family history of ulcerative colitis, crohn's disease, and a cousin and great aunt with IBS symptoms). Afterwards he recommended avoiding processed foods, probiotics, lactulose, and a referral to a gastroenterologist in July (6 month wait list). In the meantime, my boyfriend and his mother encouraged me to see what their family GP had to say, so I agreed.

When I described my symptoms and showed a photograph of the distention to their family GP he quickly began to berate me for making a big deal out of something as simple as constipation. He continued to explain that he sees many patients that try to make a big deal out of nothing to get attention. He went on saying that all my symptoms (bloating, pain with certain foods, white blood cells in my stool) are simply due to constipation and I simply need to take Metamucil. When I tried to tell him I was already taking 10+ servings of Metamucil a day for the past few months, he got angry with me and said I wasn't listening to him. He later began to explain that in addition to taking Metamucil everyday, that eating vegetables or fiber foods wouldn't make a difference--this sounded contradicting.

Trying to diffuse the situation, I apologized to him explaining that I wasn't trying to argue with him and made a joke that it was my Aspieness coming out. He quickly asked me if I did indeed have Asperger's, which I assured him I did. However, he proceeded with speculation until I showed him a report from my psych evaluation (I bring all medical documents with me when seeing any doctor). Unfortunately, that's when things turned south. He proceeded to belittle the diagnosis then noted that I also had an anxiety disorder (co-morbid for most people with Aspergers), and began to pin the constipation on that. He said the reason I was constipated was because I was anxious all the time. At this point I began to get flustered because it felt like he wasn't listening to me anymore but rather scolding me like a child, so I began tearing up. Big mistake! He then began to call me oversensitive, emotionally unstable and unsophisticated. Saying things like I don't have enough life experience and see little problems as big mountains and I need to stop putting so much energy into the anxiety and put it elsewhere into something positive. That I needed to do something with my time (a project, get a job--note: I was just accepted into a F/T design program this fall) and become more efficient.

I decided to bring up another issue I had that my "mother-in-law" encouraged me to mention, which was unusually painful cramps at the beginning of most of my periods. The pain tends to radiate from the lower left and right abdomen to lower back and down my legs. In addition I always end up collapsing from the pain which lasts for ~ 4+ hours. Because the pain is so severe, I often find myself screaming into a pillow to muffle the noise. The doctor wrote it off as typical cramps and simply some people are more sensitive than others. Again, he said I was "making things seem worse" and using this to get attention. However, he reluctantly gave me a referral to a OBGYN.

When the doctor returned after making a photocopy of the Aspergers report, he began to ask questions about my history (i.e., where was I born, occupation, school, family history). It wasn't until I mentioned the family history that he started to change his demeanor, however he still insisted all of my problems were a simple case of constipation. He proceeded to remind me that he didn't want to take on any father-figure type role--not sure how the discussion was directed this way--in which I told him just because I don't have my parents in my life anymore doesn't mean I want him to act like a father figure to me. He continued to prod about my relationship with my parents in which I finally broke down and mentioned it was abusive and didn't want to talk about it (considering that's not the reason why I went there in the first place). He went silent for a moment then tried to compare his childhood to mine saying his dad was hard on him but he keeps control over his emotions. He then proceeded to tell me that I'm an emotional wreck and will be damaged for life as a result of my childhood. Then he continued to say that it all made sense to him now, and went on about people who do things to get attention and always blames others and never themselves. Suffice to say the conversation ended there. I did notice that the "mother-in-law" was nodding her head the entire time he was talking to me which I find a little confusing. Does this mean she agrees with him or that she simply understands what he's saying?

Currently, I'm not sure what the heck happened in that room. I simply went to get a second opinion and ended up with some kind of intervention. I almost never see a doctor simply because I worry I'll end up wasting their time; however, my boyfriend was really worried about the ongoing pain. Now I feel like I should have never said anything at all. The pain still hurts, even after taking Tylenol, Aleve, after a relaxing shower or a nap, so I'm not sure how all of this is in my head and all my fault.

Have you ever had a negative experience with a physician? I noticed that the two doctors I did see don't view Asperger's Syndrome as a real diagnosis. One of them even mentioned that it's simply a label for kids who are slightly slower so that the healthcare industry can make more money by offering "treatment" options for such individuals.

What a horrible Doctor and what a horrible experience for you.

I've had some disasters with Doctors. I started getting terrible upper abdominal pains about two years ago. At first I went to my GP who said he thought it was IBS, even though the pain was very high up and nowhere near my bowel. I kept getting terrible episodes of pain and I went to Accident and Emergency on six occasions and I was treated as an attention seeker. I was told it was stress or that it was indigestion and I should take indigestion remedies and even told that I should drink less, which is a difficult thing to do when you are teetotal and have been for years. Eventually I was lucky enough to be seen my a really kind doctor in A&E who sent me for tests. What I actually have is gall stones, and I will need to have an operation to remove my gall bladder.

After this experience I am very distrustful of doctors. I have a history of mental health problems (anxiety and depression) and I feel that when a Doctor sees this they immediately decide that the problem is psychological or that I simply want attention. It's one of the reasons I feel like I would rather struggle along without an official diagnosis for Aspergers as I don't want to give them another excuse to ignore my concerns and disbelieve me.

I think you did everything right, you were just very unlucky with the doctor. I know it's a long time to wait, but I'm sure the gastroenterologist will be more helpful. I have a friend who has ulcerative colitis and she suffered a long time waiting for a diagnosis - but I think that getting an appointment with a specialist is more than half the battle. I hope you feel better soon.

I've never personally had a bad experience with a doctor, but my mother nearly died several years ago because of a doctor who refused to take her problems seriously.

She'd been experiencing heavy bleeding and extreme pain during her periods since childhood, sometimes having periods lasting 2 or 3 months at a time. She also had problems with her bowels, and was starting to have trouble breathing. She went back to the doctor time and time again and each time was told she was either overreacting, or just needed to lose weight.

Eventually she got to the point where she almost collapsed in the waiting room. A nurse ended up convincing the doctor to refer her to the hospital. It turned out that not only did she have severe endometriosis, she also had severe IBS, dangerously high blood pressure, and there was a build up of excess fluid around her lungs and heart!

After that she ended up on several kinds of medication, had an operation to stop her periods (I think it involved permanently stopping the lining of the womb growing back), and switched to a new doctor (one who takes her seriously).

One thing my mother's experiences taught me is that if a doctor seems like they're belittling you or not taking you seriously, the best course of action is always to try and find a new doctor. Ignorance is harmful and qualifications don't always mean somebody knows best.

Doctors are just like anyone else, sometimes you run across one with a personality that you don't like. You need to remember that the doctor is your employee, you can hire him and fire him for whatever reason you choose. Too many people tend to see their doctor as an authority figure, but he isn't. He's somebody you hire to fix a problem with your body (or mind) because you don't have the skills to do it yourself.

If I were the OP I would tell the dr that I do not appreciate being talked to that way, nor will I put up with it and that I won't be seeing him again because of his attitude. Then I'd walk out and find another dr.

Fire him. You have that right.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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Don't go to your BF's mother's doc again. The guy is very unprofessional, biased, and inexperienced in dealing with neurological disorders.

You do need to see a gastroenterologist and an ob-gyn doc, though, as the stuff you described is stuff they deal with. A word of advice, though. Don't tell them about your Asperger's or anxiety conditions. I don't think it's relevant, and it does tend to bring out the bias, even in docs.

I also have IBS and a kink in my bowel. I don't like most veggies, but I do try to eat some, and have made some changes in my diet. I also have a problem with most nuts, unless they are in nut butter form. I seem able to handle walnuts, though. I did some research and the treatment for the kink has problems, so as long as it's not a total block and you are able to go it's best to leave that alone. The treatment involves surgery, but eventually scar tissue builds up, and then more surgery is needed. Then more scar tissue builds up, leading to more surgery, etc., which leads to a shorter and shorter bowel, and eventually wearing a colostomy bag. So, since I am able to go, I prefer to not have the kink fixed surgically.

I've tried Metamucil, Benefiber, probiotics, and some other things, but they just give me diarrhea and more gas and bloating, so I can't use those.

Your period problem could be one or more of several things, so you do need to see an ob-gyn. Tell them to use a pediatric speculum, though, as it is smaller than the adult ones, so it may cause less discomfort.

Hope all goes well, and remember stay away from your BF's mother's doc in the future. Personally, I think you have grounds for a complaint, but you probably can't count on your BF's mother as a witness.

Good luck and good health!