WTF I'm so screwed(rant)

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Sweetleaf
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09 May 2012, 10:36 pm

Holy crap what the hell am I supposed to do I failed college, and I have loans I have to pay back with money I don't have. I mean I'm freaking out I don't know what to do. I had a recent PTSD issue thing and I don't want my weird freak outs to come up at a job.....Not to mention I have no idea how to get a job that actually pays enough to cover that. And sometimes I just want to end it all but then my family would be stuck paying my debt and they would be sad. But at the same time what good am I doing them...I'm not making it in the 'real' world that looks like a huge f***ed up joke to me.

Edit....decided some of that was not quite what i wanted to express.


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Last edited by Sweetleaf on 12 May 2012, 11:35 am, edited 2 times in total.

starkid
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09 May 2012, 10:59 pm

If you die, your student loans are forgiven. Your parents won't have to pay.



Sweetleaf
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09 May 2012, 11:02 pm

starkid wrote:
If you die, your student loans are forgiven. Your parents won't have to pay.


Well at least that's a freaking relief....


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mushroo
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10 May 2012, 12:00 am

2 thoughts:

1) Debt can be scary (at least it's scary for me) but look at it this way. People get into debt all the time to finance things they cannot afford to pay cash up-front, like cars, houses, etc. Debt can actually be a good investment. I think a little bit of debt to get an education is a good investment. :)

2) Talking to people and asking for help can be tough for a lot of us here on wrongplanet, maybe it is for you too, but IMHO your next step needs to be talking to anyone and everyone at your college you can find who will listen, starting with the Dean of Students. Colleges want their students to succeed and do well, because that is their entire business model. You are not the first college student to fail some classes or get in trouble with drugs. Maybe it's the first time you've been in that situation, but I guarantee there are deans/teachers/administrators/counselors/chaplains who have heard it a thousand times before and will be sympathetic. :)

You are an important part of wrongplanet community. Good luck!



CloudLayer
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10 May 2012, 12:02 am

Student loans are infinitely unimportant compared to your life. You're as much a part of the real world as anything, to name just one way you affect the world for good you've been really supportive to me and others on here and just a great person. I understand you're in an extremely tough spot, you're dealing with things most people don't have to deal with... don't beat yourself up, you're not failing as anything no matter what/who might make you feel that way, you're doing the best job you can under very difficult conditions.

If you can't take certain stress because of PTSD, you can't take it, it's the same as having any other serious condition. Not to say you can't get better with time but more stress is the last thing you need now. Can you or can you ask one of your family members to call the financial aid office and ask if the loans can be cancelled because of your PTSD and associated issues?



Sweetleaf
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10 May 2012, 12:13 am

mushroo wrote:
2 thoughts:

1) Debt can be scary (at least it's scary for me) but look at it this way. People get into debt all the time to finance things they cannot afford to pay cash up-front, like cars, houses, etc. Debt can actually be a good investment. I think a little bit of debt to get an education is a good investment. :)

Well yeah but I dropped out.

2) Talking to people and asking for help can be tough for a lot of us here on wrongplanet, maybe it is for you too, but IMHO your next step needs to be talking to anyone and everyone at your college you can find who will listen, starting with the Dean of Students. Colleges want their students to succeed and do well, because that is their entire business model. You are not the first college student to fail some classes or get in trouble with drugs. Maybe it's the first time you've been in that situation, but I guarantee there are deans/teachers/administrators/counselors/chaplains who have heard it a thousand times before and will be sympathetic. :)

I am not even a student anymore so they have no obligation towards me.

You are an important part of wrongplanet community. Good luck!


thanks and i'll try and figure out what to do I guess...even though I am not very confident in my abilities to do so.


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grunt200
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10 May 2012, 12:25 am

Debt is just Debt, what are they going to do? call you? this a a funny way of looking at it but its through
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5bbvMR8Ee4[/youtube]



mushroo
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10 May 2012, 12:45 am

Sorry, I think I may have misunderstood your situation (but my heart was in the right place :)).
How long ago did you drop out of school, and do you have any interest in going back?
I have a friend who took 8 years to get his undergrad degree. The college gave him a 2nd chance, then a 3rd chance, then a 4th chance... finally he finished!



questor
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10 May 2012, 4:14 am

I agree with Mushroo. Don't give up on school. There is no law that says it has to be done in a specific time period, such as two or four years. Instead of over whelming yourself by taking a lot of courses at once, just take one or two classes per semester, and take as long as you need to finish school. Besides reducing stress over taking too many courses for you to handle all at once, this can help in another way. It will leave you time to take a part time job, which will help pay some of your bills. If you have been having trouble finding a job, try the employment agencies for temp work, until you finally finish school. I am older now, and no longer able to work due to other health issues, but most of my work life was temp work I got through employment agencies. The breaks between assignments let me recharge my psych batteries, and also gave me time to help out my mother with some of her stuff, so I preferred temp work, even though I didn't get paid when I was between assignments. Some assignments ran longer, though, so I managed to pay my bills. It helped that I have never been a big spender, and have no expensive vices.

I know all too well how hard it is for people on the spectrum to handle stress, and how easy it is for us to get over whelmed, but keep up with your schooling, just at a reduced number of courses at a time. That should reduce your stress. Good luck! :D


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10 May 2012, 5:17 am

grunt200 wrote:
Debt is just Debt, what are they going to do? call you?


Well, they can garnish wages, deny loans, and seize assets.

Now, if your wages are too low to garnish, you don't ever want to borrow money again, and you have no assets, this is quite true (provided none of these things are likely to change any time soon).

They call me every day. I've researched the laws here and realized that there's a statute of limitations and, firstly, they can't take me to court anymore, and secondly, it will in fact be struck from credit report not too long from now - so long as I never acknowledge the debt. I also found the laws very ... interesting. I got very, interested in them. At first it was just frustration and fear that motivated me to take an interest but after a while, I couldn't stop reading about them.

For years I never answered when they called, but lately, when the mood strikes me, I do. Debate and perseverate, debate and perseverate. :lol:

It's like a game. Points are scored for remaining calm, being polite, obtaining any information/verification about the debt at all from the other person, causing the other person to become agitated, or being hung up on.

EDIT, just watched that video ... that guy is WAY better than me at it



Sweetleaf
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10 May 2012, 8:57 am

CloudLayer wrote:
Student loans are infinitely unimportant compared to your life. You're as much a part of the real world as anything, to name just one way you affect the world for good you've been really supportive to me and others on here and just a great person. I understand you're in an extremely tough spot, you're dealing with things most people don't have to deal with... don't beat yourself up, you're not failing as anything no matter what/who might make you feel that way, you're doing the best job you can under very difficult conditions.

If you can't take certain stress because of PTSD, you can't take it, it's the same as having any other serious condition. Not to say you can't get better with time but more stress is the last thing you need now. Can you or can you ask one of your family members to call the financial aid office and ask if the loans can be cancelled because of your PTSD and associated issues?


Well I did fail college, and managed to get fired from a temporary job since I've graduated highschool. But you're right I shouldn't beat myself up about this crap. Also I'll probably have to call them myself and just have it deferred for now.....and maybe if I get the PTSD at least diagnosed cancelling it would be an option but yeah I doubt they will allow it when I don't have an document to prove I have PTSD and other issues.


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Sweetleaf
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10 May 2012, 9:07 am

mushroo wrote:
Sorry, I think I may have misunderstood your situation (but my heart was in the right place :)).
How long ago did you drop out of school, and do you have any interest in going back?
I have a friend who took 8 years to get his undergrad degree. The college gave him a 2nd chance, then a 3rd chance, then a 4th chance... finally he finished!


Like the past december.......I was going to community college, but yeah I dropped out of a state college before going to the community college as well. But yeah I really don't think I will be going back my main reason for dropping out both times was I couldn't take the stress, the debt I knew was being built and since I have PTSD from something that happened when I was in highschool schools put me on edge even if it is a college campus and not a highschool...so that kept leading to problems focusing, feeling trapped in the classroom and sometimes having to go hide in the bathroom to calm myself and so I didn't have to be embarrassed by people wondering why I'm breathing quick and have shaking hands.

So yeah, no school for me.


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Sweetleaf
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10 May 2012, 9:15 am

questor wrote:
I agree with Mushroo. Don't give up on school. There is no law that says it has to be done in a specific time period, such as two or four years. Instead of over whelming yourself by taking a lot of courses at once, just take one or two classes per semester, and take as long as you need to finish school. Besides reducing stress over taking too many courses for you to handle all at once, this can help in another way. It will leave you time to take a part time job, which will help pay some of your bills. If you have been having trouble finding a job, try the employment agencies for temp work, until you finally finish school. I am older now, and no longer able to work due to other health issues, but most of my work life was temp work I got through employment agencies. The breaks between assignments let me recharge my psych batteries, and also gave me time to help out my mother with some of her stuff, so I preferred temp work, even though I didn't get paid when I was between assignments. Some assignments ran longer, though, so I managed to pay my bills. It helped that I have never been a big spender, and have no expensive vices.

I know all too well how hard it is for people on the spectrum to handle stress, and how easy it is for us to get over whelmed, but keep up with your schooling, just at a reduced number of courses at a time. That should reduce your stress. Good luck! :D


I was just taking two classes at a community college, even that was too much for me. Also college was hard enough there is no way I could have handled a part time job on top of that. Also I have mental health issues preventing me from functioning the PTSD seems to be the worst of them currently...it interfered with school, that combined with having AS has interfered with past jobs.


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Sweetleaf
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10 May 2012, 9:16 am

edgewaters wrote:
grunt200 wrote:
Debt is just Debt, what are they going to do? call you?


Well, they can garnish wages, deny loans, and seize assets.

Now, if your wages are too low to garnish, you don't ever want to borrow money again, and you have no assets, this is quite true (provided none of these things are likely to change any time soon).

They call me every day. I've researched the laws here and realized that there's a statute of limitations and, firstly, they can't take me to court anymore, and secondly, it will in fact be struck from credit report not too long from now - so long as I never acknowledge the debt. I also found the laws very ... interesting. I got very, interested in them. At first it was just frustration and fear that motivated me to take an interest but after a while, I couldn't stop reading about them.

For years I never answered when they called, but lately, when the mood strikes me, I do. Debate and perseverate, debate and perseverate. :lol:

It's like a game. Points are scored for remaining calm, being polite, obtaining any information/verification about the debt at all from the other person, causing the other person to become agitated, or being hung up on.

EDIT, just watched that video ... that guy is WAY better than me at it


I think I just wouldn't answer and if they persisted I'd put the ring on silent so I don't go insane from the ringing. But I can defer the loans so it might never come to that. Also I won't be taking out anymore loans.....screw that and I don't have any assets or income to seize anyways.


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mushroo
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10 May 2012, 9:22 am

I have faith in you that if you can get your PTSD and drug problems under control, you can succeed in school, business, or whatever you put your mind to! Lots of successful older people struggled when they were your age. Don't give up, don't be afraid to seek counseling, have faith in yourself, good luck! :)



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10 May 2012, 9:45 am

I didn't think you can be charged if you are unemployed and don't have the money... Yeesh, that can't be possible if you don't have the money...
Also when you don't want your parents to pay, is it because you want to handle it yourself or because if they do, they'll give you a hard time?


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