the fathers frien being nice to me for no apparent reason.
I now hate my dad and family accepts that. For the last few weeks. I have noticed when I see my dads friends about . They are now being nice to me. Im used to his friends nod to me when they see me. His friends are stopping me in the street and talking me like were friends. Asking how are you, hows my family, offering me lifts to the jobcentre. This is weird for them. I dont expect it or never got it from the before. I just decline it. Im not used to doing things for myself. Im thinking then that he has put them up to it. I am selling things online for granny as well things for myself. I expect he wants to give her back a lifestyle which they are accustomed to. I dont make enough to do that. It would at very least help them with some of their debts. I suspect they want me to have a cordial relationship with me, be one big happy blended family and let them get the money from the sales. Then cut me loose when they have no use for me.
I cant help thinking that.
What do you when people be nice to when they just want something?
You may be misinterpreting things. We on the spectrum do that a lot. As for how to get along with people you have to spend time with, but are uncomfortable with, just be civil, unless they do something serious against you.
As for helping your Grandmother by selling stuff online, make sure you password protect any sites of yours, and your computer, and your email account, etc. If the money comes to you, then you need to have a bank account only in your name, so that they can't take the money from you, but be sure you pass along Granny's share to her, best by check, so you will have a record of having paid her. If you are doing a lot of online sales, you may need a business bank account and a registered business name, but again, don't have the names of non-participants on any accounts or on the business, or in any business records. It's best to keep good records of all of the transactions for tax reasons. And if someone tries to cut in on your sales operation in any way, good records will be legal proof that it's your operation.
Just remember though, that we do often misinterpret other people's words, body and face language, and actions, so it's best to be civil until and unless someone does something against you.
_________________
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.--Henry David Thoreau
Everybody "just wants something" - all behaviour, without exception, is a reaction to a stimulus of some sort. However - some of those stimuli are internal. Someone can be nice simply because that is how they wish to see themselves, or because they want to prove to themselves that they are nice or are capable of being genuinely nice.
That is to say, they don't always want something from you.
These things are best not to analyze too much unless you're running into a problem though, as you are now (being unable to conceptualize someone being genuinely nice). Once you've got a handle on it, don't analyze it too much further. If it's something internal, you don't really want to know exactly why, it's just going to make you feel more alienated and weird if you walk around being able to see everyone at that level. Particularly when they're nice. Save your high analysis for problems that need to be solved.
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