Asperger's makes me feel so isolated

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I can't take it no longer. I'm starting to feel like I'm trapped in my own skin, and I keep on asking myself why I was born with AS and none of my cousins were. It's a case of ''why me?'', and I find this is why I am getting so mad all the time. It's like a flukey thing. It's ME who is born with the condition. Just me. And I hate it. I hate getting upset when people are doing normal things that wouldn't upset them. I find I am always arguing all the time because I just can't handle other people doing normal things. I get upset when my mum sneezes, it agitates me and throw me into a rage. I just can't stand the sound of her sneezes, they are loud and she does, like, 20 in a row sometimes. And that is just one of MANY other silly, small things that get me in a rage - things what wouldn't of got me into a rage if I had of been born NT.

But not only that - I just feel so isolated all the time, with everybody socialising around me and I'm just remaining quiet because I am unsure of what to do. Well, it's not that really, I do know what to do mostly, but because people are used to me and so expect me to come out with some sort of crap or say nothing at all, they don't give me a chance to speak in group conversations, so I can never get a word in edgeways, and all their attention is mostly focused on the most loudest, chattiest one of the group, so I kind of get pushed out. It happens every time, even with my family. So this is why I don't bother to join in any more, I just know it happens every time. I wait for a gap so I can say something relavent to the conversation, and I find that nobody is listening to me, or one person may hear me and just give a quick, half-arsed nod, then carry on focusing their attention on the life and soul. It's been happening all my life, and it does my head in, so now I don't even bother to socialise any more. And when I do try to join in, I get the ''I wasn't talking to you'' look, so f**k knows how one can join in if evidentally you only have to sit and wait for someone to specifically talk to you first. I don't think every NT follows that rule! No - it all depends on popularity. If you are popular or the one everyone automatically lavishes their attention on, it doesn't matter if you break any rules. This is what upset me, and I will never be popular in my lifetime so I will never get away with breaking social rules. Then if I turned round and asked nicely, ''please can you try to include me in the conversation?'' people would just be sarcastic and say, ''all right, we will all sit here and listen to you going on about your obsessions!'' That f*****g gets me mad too because that's NOT what I was even implying, and I never intend to talk about my obsessions in a room full of people anyway.

And then people have got the cheek to criticise me when I don't want to join in.

I get invalidated a lot in real life as well, I felt like I was beginning to lose my relational functions altogether before joining here. Now what are these obsessions you're consumed by?

I think I know how you feel. On the isolation part... isn't it like the world was made BY the neurotypical, FOR the neurotypical? In such a way that it's impossible for anyone else to get into it. Maybe... like a book written by doctors, for doctors. If you're not a doctor then it won't make sense. You can have a solid knowledge of biology or medicine, but you're not a doctor so many things will just be gibberish. If you know what I mean. It being written by doctors means it would expect the reader to have experience of being a doctor for many years. Its a useful book, of course. The things written in it are medical related and knowing it will benefit *everyone*. But it's so exclusive.

Hell, I'm not sure if I know what I mean there.

Is it a kind of elitism, perhaps? If everyone could read the book then what good are doctors? If society was open to everyone then what would be the point of being popular or being a socialite?
Sorry, I'm really confusing myself here. Wow, I'll have to edit this... unless this does make sense?

It does make sense. I knew what you meant before finishing reading your post.
I'm just a bit miserable because I always thought I didn't see things differently to other people. I've always been able to relate to other people (especially as I've got older), I've always been able to ''read'' other people's body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, emotions, and intentions, and I've had quite good theory of mind (being able to tell when someone is joking or not, being able to ''get'' what they mean, being able to think the same as they're thinking, and so on). But if I have all this then how come I still find myself constantly arguing with people all the time, over things that other people would just agree with? I know other people do argue, but I always find myself bickering with my mother over trivial things, or being doubted by other people over things that I shouldn't get wrong, and so on. People in my family have always been treading on eggshells around me, being careful to try and remember not to say the things what will ''push my buttons'' and send me into an angry rage - things what most NTs wouldn't get upset about.
So somewhere along the lines I must think differently to other people. But I can't explain what. This is what makes me feel isolated, always getting offended over things what other people wouldn't (plus also all the things that other people would too), so that makes me one big sulky nuisence and nobody understanding me and just thinking I'm being silly.

@Joe90: I looked up on the internet about these crying spurts you have. It's called Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA) or Emotional Labilty. People with neuro disorders can get it. They usually treat it with meds like Fluvox, Celexa or Amitryptiline so there is hope. PBA can severely affect you in that sustaining a relationship will be extremely challenging for your potential mate, not to mention it can have detrimental effects at the workplace. Can you imagine working at a restaurant and the customer says, "Miss, my steak is rare. I ordered medium." You'd immediately start bawling, the customer will think, "WTF?" then get up and leave. Not good. When you laugh, the world laughs with you; when you cry you cry alone.

Nobody wants to be alone.

My uncle tells this to me a lot, only he says ''smile, and the world smiles with you; frown and you frown alone''. I should really think about how right he is, and could be such a good philosophy to keep in mind. And it does work. At my volunteer job I am so shy and don't quite know what to say to people, but I just smile and be friendly in my approach, and I've made some friends already, even without having to talk much, and I know it's because I smile a lot and so look willing to be friends with people. When you just walk about scowling all the time, people get fed up and just consider you unfriendly. They may sympathise with you first of all because they are concerned, but after a while, people get fed up, and I don't blame them. I mean, if you were working with someone who is always scowling and always have their head down and never giving any positive impression, would you start to feel uncomfortable and not bother to speak to them any more?