Furious at DH

Post Reply New Topic

My husband has it made, he reallly does. All I ask from him is that he goes to work every day during the week and only drink one night a week. I also ask that he showers at least three times a week.

He can't manage to do any of that.

I clean and pick up after him. I cook and even bring him a plate when it's ready. I bring him his coffee in the morning. I braid his hair for him because it's long and a ponytail gets in the way.

His company has work again so he's been going to work, but when they didn't have it he didn't look for another job. He just laid around on his ass and watched tv, wouldn't even try and fix the lawn mower or borrow one to cut the damn grass. Oh, and he made sure to borrow enough money from his mother to drink a pint of whiskey a day.

Tonight is prom and my daughter has everything she needs now (her fiance bought most of it because my husband couldn't manage to get off his ass to go to work) and she was going to need $20 for photos at the prom. We knew this. He had given me $20 when he got paid which I've spent on gas and other things and that was the only money he gave me for me to have. He held on to the rest and he paid the water bill' so it wouldn't be cut off. He put gas in the car and bought cigarettes but the rest he spent on booze. He's been drunk every freaking night this week.

This morning he informed me he's got $7 and that's to go in the gas tank to get to work Monday. I asked about my daughters picture money and he said no he doesn't have it he paid the water bill. I told him the water bill has nothing to do with it, he's been drunk every night and he spent her photo money on booze. I told him he should feel bad because he drank up his daughters picture money for prom.. He hasn't said anything about it and I doubt the bastard feels bad. I'm sick of him.

I borrowed the money from my mother for her, so she has photo money.

If we didn't live so far out in the middle of nowhere, I could get a job and leave his ass, which I would if' I could. I'm sick and tired of him. He's drunk all the time, he doesn't care about anything but himself and he's nasty. I can't even sleep in the same bed as him because he smells bad. He doesn't care at all.

We don't fight, he's not abusive, theres nothing like that, I just don't like him anymore. I love him but I don't like him. Right now I'm not talking to him and neither is my daughter. He doesn't seem to care, the bastard.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I don't know what advice I can give you, I've never been married so I don't feel like I am qualified to offer any. I just wanted to say I'm not surprised you are angry, I would be the same in your position. You seem like a very kind and thoughtful person and it's a shame your husband doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Have you considered temporarily moving yourself and daughter back in with your mother, or another relative. Perhaps you can find work close to them, also. And if you should file for divorce, the courts can have alimony and child support deducted from his pay before he gets it. If a relative of yours can't help out, how about moving in with his mom. Since she is enabling him to be a lazy, alcoholic bum, she owes you big time.

You don't have a marriage. You are his drudge, not his wife. If you choose to stay there under the existing circumstances, then don't complain. But honestly, is this the kind of behavior you really want to model for your daughter--that she should be a lazy drunk's drudge? Would you want her to be one?

A couple of things. I don't just take this lying down. I speak up and tell him exactly how I feel. I'm not his drudge, because other than bringing him a plate when supper is ready, everything I do is done for me and the kids. I enjoy being a housewife and taking care of my family. He's only been this way for the past few years and I'm not putting up with it.

My mother lives across the main road from me. She lives in a small one bedroom apartment and they don't allow anyone else to live with the person who is on the lease. Also, I have two kids under 18 who would need to come with me. Plus, my mother has borderline personality disorder and I'd end up crazy if I had to live with her. His mother has always hated me because I wasnt "good enough" for her son and she's never said a nice word to me in the 25 years I've been married. She also can't walk and her other son lives with her to take care of her and his grown son lives there too. There' is a lot of animosity between me and my BIL and nephew which my oldest son and his dopehead baby mama started up. So there's no way I'd live with her.

Without a car, I can't find a job and I can't afford a car. If I were to file for divorce I wouldn't get the house because even though it's owned, it's in my mother in law and sister in law's names so I couldn't take the house. I've already talked to a lawyer about this last summer when he was being a lazy drunk bum and didn't work for months. I have absolutely no options other than a women's shelter and there is no reason for that. As I said, I'm not abused and he doesn't really have the balls to say anything mean to me except very occasionally when he's drunk, so the main problem is that he's always drunk, barely pays the bills, and won't do anything around the house. If he could just pay the damn bills and only drink once a week I could deal with living with him that way.

What pissed me off even more is I just found his bottle he bought today and hid. He can't give his daughter prom money but he's bought booze. He's a bastard and a jackass.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Maybe when all your kids are out of high school, you can leave his ass. I cannot imagine my husband being that way. I don't think I would be able to handle it with my money obsession which probably stems from OCD.

Sucks to be trapped.

I'll figure something out. The ideal solution would be to straighten him out. If that doesn't work then my second choice is to basically make his life a living hell until he shows some responsibility and stops the drinking. I can do that without yelling, doing mean things to him, saying mean things to him etc. I have my little tricks and I know what he can't stand and what gives him tons of anxiety. He's gonna get that.

He's also getting the coldest shoulder ever. I'll speak to him to say what I need to, I'll be polite but won't make conversation, I will use a cold tone but not an angry tone, and I'll avoid him like the plague. That really gets to him. He can't stand it when I do that because he would rather me yell at him or cry and nag him because then he has an excuse to drink etc, because I'm "driving him crazy". Well, no more of that, folks. His whole world is about to change.

My oldest daughter is mad at him too and doesn't have much to say to him either now. She's short and to the point and has her tone with him too, since she knows he drank up her prom picture money.

I'm also going to talk to a lawyer again on Monday to find out if I have more options than I was told last year. I'm going to call Tommy who is my lawyer usually, instead of Mitch who is in town who I don't really care for. Tommy will find a way I bet you money. He's nice, and he's a good ole boy.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com