scared of work?

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1 thing that makes me upset alot is talking bout work.. so I dont.. but makes me now realize there is something there.. like a washer stuck between gears.. not good
When I worked I was proud. Secret stuff.. sign all this papers.. difficult tech things. Made me feel very good. So proud.
Started in team of 5 guys. Work together well.. lots of work done. Good results from crews using our stuff.. praise.
Couple years back, team was reduced and reduce more.. til there was only me left. I work hard.. want good results.. it worked. Crew happy.. me happy.

problem now is that i havent worked for a while.. cant do it somehow.. i sit and stare and nothing happens

when I think bout work it feels like huge steep mountain wall.. impossible to climb.. makes me sad
I wonder.. mb I expect to much? mb look for something very different? something easy? just sort stuff or like that? chop wood? I cut wood fine at home.
any1 here tried something like this? go from rly awesome job to something very different? is it good? does it make you proud?

I can't really offer anything that helps, but I can tell you my story, which is similar.

I am still employed in the same job I've held for going on 12 years now. It is a good job with a lot of detailed responsibility and at one time, I really rocked it hard. My work involves knowing lots of numbers, which I'm really good at, and a few years ago, I was on top of my game.

But the stress of the economy, my home life changes, changes in my job, and frankly, just me getting older, have all had a toll on my abilities. I can't seem to grasp hold of the reins like I use to. I can't keep up with the pace any more. I don't know what is expected of me and I really don't know how to do my job well any more. Too much has changed and I just don't understand it anymore.

I want so badly to be laid off... but I know I won't be because I worked too hard years ago to make myself a critical piece of the department. Now I am sorry that they all depend on me because I am terrified that I'm going to fail to hide the fact that I don't know what I'm doing any more.

I really want to do something different, but I make too much to find a better job that isn't as stressful and I can't quit this one because I make 75% of the household income and I carry the insurance.