Should I quit Facebook and delete my account?

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Joe90
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19 May 2012, 12:29 pm

Lately I have been depressed about desiring social interaction yet being afraid of social interaction at the same time, and I don't think Facebook helps. Firstly I keep having irresistable urges to rant and rave on my wall all the time for all to see, which does make people fed up with you after a while. And secondly, I get upset when I see people boasting their social lives all over Facebook, like posting pictures of themselves all dolled up and cuddling their mates at the bar. It makes me feel very isolated.

But, in some ways, Facebook is handy, because the friends of mine who don't boast about their social lives are who I keep in touch with, and I like to see their updates because they are worth reading and their pictures are worth looking at. But I don't like to delete the boastful friends though because it'd just make me look jealous, and then I won't have many friends on my Facebook (I only have about 25), and people criticise if you don't have many friends on Facebook, for some weird reason. And these boastful friends are local, so I see them around, like on the bus, etc.

So what should I do? Is Facebook a good idea when you're feeling depressed about how unsociable you are?


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Sweetleaf
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19 May 2012, 12:46 pm

Well you could try getting on it less....and maybe when you feel like typing a rant you could open a Microsoft word or if you have a similar program and type it there and re-read it before you put it on facebook to make sure its all stuff you want to say publicly....or even just type it on to your page but don't post it........I've done that a few times just wanting to get something out not on facebook but I've even posted threads here and just never posted them because I decided it was to much for a public forum.

But yeah maybe getting on less, especially when you're feeling especially depressed may be a good idea........as for deleting it as far as I know the most you could do is disable it.


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SilkySifaka
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19 May 2012, 12:49 pm

Do you know that you can hide all posts by certain people if you want to? I have done this with a few people who post lots and lots of passive aggressive and cryptic status updates. That way you don't have to read all their boastful posts, but you don't have to delete them either. You can also set up lists on Facebook so you only share certain things with your 'real friends' - the boastful people won't know that they can't see your updates and things.

As to people who make comments about how many friends you have on Facebook, just ignore them. I don't have many friends on there, a lot of them are actually family members (including my Mum, pretty much the saddest thing you can do on Facebook is friend your Mum apparently) but I really don't care. It would be shame for you to lose out on the nice friends you have because of the not nice ones.



OliveOilMom
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19 May 2012, 12:58 pm

It's not really boasting, even though it may seem that way to you right now. It's simply keeping your FB friends up to date on what you are doing. If you had fun someplace and have pics, then showing those pics to people is a fun thing to do. It sort of "includes them" in the fun. Also people put stuff up there for comments.

I'm on my OliveOilMom FB account very rarely, but I do check my regular personal FB account every few days. I'd invite you to either one if you wanted, but I'm not very active on the OOM one, and on my personal one you'll see some rants, some funny status posts, and quite a bit of posts about my kids, because I'm proud of them or happy for them. Sometimes mad at them.

FB isn't a big deal. It is what it is. It's only as important as you let it be to you. If I go somewhere and do something, I'll post about it. It's not bragging or boasting really. I'm just telling people "Hey I went here and had a good time! Yay!"


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redrobin62
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19 May 2012, 1:31 pm

I have been thinking of leaving FB recently because I'm hardly ever on there, maybe once every two-three months or so. I haven't left yet because my family sees it as a harbinger for something dire, like a suicide attempt on my part and I'm shutting out the world to attempt it in peace. Another thing, and it's probably jealousy, is the amount of press and coverage the FB CEO gets. Oy! It's overkill! Somehow I can't help but think they're always hinting, "Hah! He's only 28 and worth a gazillion bucks. What's your malfunction!" Arrgghh!



OliveOilMom
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19 May 2012, 1:43 pm

redrobin62 wrote:
I have been thinking of leaving FB recently because I'm hardly ever on there, maybe once every two-three months or so. I haven't left yet because my family sees it as a harbinger for something dire, like a suicide attempt on my part and I'm shutting out the world to attempt it in peace. Another thing, and it's probably jealousy, is the amount of press and coverage the FB CEO gets. Oy! It's overkill! Somehow I can't help but think they're always hinting, "Hah! He's only 28 and worth a gazillion bucks. What's your malfunction!" Arrgghh!


No that's not what they are hinting at all. It's more along the lines of "Holy crap this kid made all this money by 28! That hardly ever happens!"

As for deleting it, so what if your family thinks that? Post a status that says "I don't get on here much anymore, I don't like the idea of my information being in cyberspace for eternity, I have no idea what FB will eventually do with privacy, so I will be removing all my content and deleting my FB next week. Those who want to keep in touch with me, please inbox me and I will send you my personal email address" That will explain it all.


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Joe90
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19 May 2012, 3:06 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
It's not really boasting, even though it may seem that way to you right now. It's simply keeping your FB friends up to date on what you are doing. If you had fun someplace and have pics, then showing those pics to people is a fun thing to do. It sort of "includes them" in the fun. Also people put stuff up there for comments.

I'm on my OliveOilMom FB account very rarely, but I do check my regular personal FB account every few days. I'd invite you to either one if you wanted, but I'm not very active on the OOM one, and on my personal one you'll see some rants, some funny status posts, and quite a bit of posts about my kids, because I'm proud of them or happy for them. Sometimes mad at them.

FB isn't a big deal. It is what it is. It's only as important as you let it be to you. If I go somewhere and do something, I'll post about it. It's not bragging or boasting really. I'm just telling people "Hey I went here and had a good time! Yay!"


I don't have a problem with people who post pictures of their kids, or write about their kids, or write about their day out. That is the sort of stuff that is worth reading. It's when people start posting pictures of themselves out clubbing which annoys me the most, possibly because it makes me feel like I'm the only youngster in the world who doesn't go out clubbing so I don't want to know about other people doing it.


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OliveOilMom
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19 May 2012, 3:20 pm

^^ Most people I know post pictures of themselves when they go out somewhere. It's just part of FB. I have a friend who posts lots and lots of them. She's not trying to rub it in other people's faces that she's popular and goes out almost every night, she just posts pics so people can sort of "share". I enjoy seeing them, and lots of people enjoy seeing them. I've been in some of her pics when she's had parties. She's one of those people who is addicted to FB and the more a person is addicted to FB the more of their lives they want to put up there.

It's sort of become a substitute for talking to your friends and telling them what you have been up to. Instead of telling somone on the phone about a party you went to, you just post the pics on FB and that way anybody who is interested can see for themselves. If you aren't interested, then just skip over it.

You can go out and do things you know. It's difficult at first but it gets better. Back when I was single I was terrified to go out to a bar or something alone, but after the first few times, I had fun. You meet people, you dance, you have a few drinks, theres nothing to it really. People are interested in themselves and their friends and strangers they are attracted to. It's fun to go and sit back and chill and watch what people do.


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questor
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19 May 2012, 4:14 pm

Personally, I don't see the point of having a personal FB account. For personal contacts, email, the phone, and occasionally in person, handles my personal contacts fine. Anyone who is not a "personal" contact is a stranger, and can contact me in person, by mail, or by phone if they need to. On rare occasions I will give out my email account to non personal contacts, but only if necessary. I have an alternate email account for that.

FB may be good for business, and organization type contacts, but there is no need to use it for truly personal contacts.

Those people you contact on a close basis are your friends. The other ones on your list that you don't keep close contact with are not your friends. They are acquaintances. There is no need to keep up to date with such casual contacts. There is also no need to keep score on the number of people on your FB account list. That's just silly. So, by the way is keeping track of the ranking and names of the ranks here at WP. I am in my 50s and don't care about such things anyway. I did mention it in emails to my older sister a few times, as I went up in rank, but as a joke. By the way I will have over 1200 posts here by the time I am done here tonight! :lol:

You don't need FB to keep in contact with the people who are important to you. Cut the FB cord. It's a security risk, and a temptation to make a fool of yourself with foolish and nasty posts and pix.

Remember, you can still keep in touch with people by phone, email, and in person, or even--GASP!--snail mail. :lol:


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19 May 2012, 7:46 pm

I think 25 friends on Facebook is a lot. I only have 5.



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19 May 2012, 8:51 pm

I cut everyone off my facebook that I didn't really care about reading about, and that left me 10 people. I check it a few times a week, and that's good enough for me. Even when I had hundreds of "friends" on there, though, they weren't really my friends - and your friends who have zillions of "friends" don't really have that many either. But you're right - facebook can be very depressing, if you let it use you, instead of you using it.


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