There's no point.....

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I realize that there's no point.... my life sucks.

My mum has a heart condition so I have to take care of her(she'll probably only live a few more years). My family doesn't understand me. I don't have any friends. Lack money is always a issue. I have nothing to look forward to in life and no-reason to continue, I hate everything about my life right now. I'm stressed because I'm signed up to meet a new counselor next month, who I don't know. I have to go to my 1 college class a week tomorrow, and I barely even handle going to that. I hate going out, I have so many sensory issues.

I just don't want to do it all anymore. I wish I had a car so I could go to the beach or the desert and jump off a cliff.
I just don't want to continue.

Right now, yes. There's a chance the new counselor might be productive. I just got thrown into uncertain future but I have to believe anything's better than what I was putting up with. You might pick up another interest along the way. I've just had a S.H.T.F. day but I didn't want to leave a post unreplied and have them think no one is listening

At the moment, you're focusing on all the things that are wrong, and that's understandable. But I see from your fund page that you're more than halfway to your goal of getting a service dog. You've only been raising the money for a little more than a month, and you've done so well! Your life will change when you get the dog, as I'm sure you will succeed. You need to focus on that and the other things will shrink in importance.

That's because everything is going wrong, nothing is working out
I'm afraid to go to the new counselor, I don't like meeting new people, what if i don't like her? what if i don't like the room? what if there's a painting I can't stand to look at? how do i know if she's nice? what if she's as bad as my old counselor?

And even with fundraising for a service dog, I keep hitting wall after wall, and I just can't crawl over them anymore.

so as I said, no-point, I'm so tired of everything! Nothing is working out, and nothing ever will, nothing's ever worked out in the past so it has no-reason to do so in the future.

It sounds like you're very down about everything. It must seem like a lot is on your plate at the moment. You really need someone to talk to that you can rely on. Maybe that new counselor might be an anchor for you, someone that'll help. Sounds like she couldn't be much worse than the previous one anyway!
It looks to me like you've been jumping over walls rather than hitting them. Even if it feels like you're crawling, remember you're still moving, and you'll get there in the end.
If the counselor doesn't work out, find someone else. You need to keep yourself safe until things get better, which they will. Concentrate on what is going right, however slow it is.

Yes, don't worry about slowness. I suppose you feel to much pressure about other people, but you may give to much importance to problems. The way people talk may be confusing about how important things are. Personnaly I try to find an equilibrium between what I am and what I can do with average people.

Of course sometimes I'm fed up, but I try to analyse that feeling and I realize that it does not make sense. I am ok, I am not causing so much trouble, and I have the right to exist. Same applies to you. Do you see what I mean ?

I don't see my new counselor till the 18th of June, that's over a month away, I don't think I'll make it that long even.

I'm just so tired, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, everything makes me unhappy, even my special interests. I just don't see things getting better, things have just always gotten worse. there's nothing to look forward to in my life.... it all just goes downhill.....

Life is too complicated, I don't want to deal with it anymore.

Do you sleep well at night ? You rather seem to have a lack of energy.

By the way, I advice you to stay safe, because otherwise it can be rather painful. And pain is not cool.

Trinket, you really need to talk to someone neutral, someone you can discuss the whole situation with. You're in trouble and you need to keep yourself safe from harm. The US number for the Samaritans is 1 (800) 273-TALK and you can tell them absolutely anything in confidence. It can really help to just let it all out to someone who's not involved. Sometimes you can see a better solution when there's another person to bounce it off. And since they've heard it all (and worse!) before from others with similar problems, you can't shock them.

If you don't feel you can say it in a phonecall, you can always email jo@samaritans.org and say you're in trouble that way. They'll email you back within 12 hours at the most, but usually quicker than that. It's a person that emails back, not an automated response, so you can let them have the whole story in your email, and know that they'll try to help how you feel about it.

I think the 18th June is very far away, so this is why I'm suggesting Samaritans instead. Or request that you could meet the new counselor sooner. Please find someone to talk to. I know you don't feel like making an effort at the moment, but at 19, you could have a lot to live for - you've only just escaped the whole high school experience. The older you get, the more personal freedom you often get - you should be able to have more control over your life. It looks gloomy at the moment, but maybe there are things that could be changed. For example, if you are not well yourself, then there may be some assistance you can get for looking after your Mom. College may be able to help you too in more ways than you know about. But you'll have to tell them you need more help, or they won't be able to do anything extra for you.

I think you have it in you to rise above this, and survive. You've made the effort to get your service dog, and that effort is being rewarded (slowly, but surely), as you reach towards your target amount. You've reached for help from others by writing in The Haven here at wrongplanet. So you're instinctively doing the right thing for yourself. The next thing you need to do, is to talk to someone in person and tell them the whole story, no matter what it is, and sooner than 18th June. Give it a go.

If I really wanted to talk to somebody I could talk to my psychologist, but I don't.
And I don't like phones.

I don't want to go to college, I hate school, I was home-schooled(online) for the last years of high school for the same reason.

it depends on the night- how much sleep I get, I can ether sleep 12+ hours or less then 4.

See my future? no college= crap job, and I don't want to ever go to college, crap job= stress and no money, no money/stress= miserable me, and I'm already miserable.

I haven't told my mum about raising money for a service dog yet even, she doesn't understand my problems and i don't think she'll understand me wanting a service dog ether....

Well do you feel a difference when you sleep 10 hours during a few days ?

Is this misunderstanding with your mom a source of sadness ? Is she aware of your difficulties ? Would you like to hide to from her ?

no, sleep feels the same, I'm always tired

I suppose, she just doesn't understand, she's always telling me to "stop it". My Psychologist tried talking with her, so now she knows, but she still doesn't understand...

"would I like to hide from her?" I don't understand this question

Ok. Have you tried to check your sleep in a sleep clinic ? It consists in measuring what is going on while you sleep. You may have sleep apnea or some other sleeping trouble.

Well you answered, your mom ask you to stop, that's why you think you must stop your life. In fact, your mom is not talking about you, but about something going on in her mind. And you don't have control over it anyway, so you can relax about this.

No, it's very very hard for me to sleep in a strange place

She's always telling me to stop the things I do, earlier today she said(yelled) "can you not make animal noises, groaning and all the crap"

There are so many things that make me hate my life, I just don't want to go on, I want to jump off a cliff, I hate everything....

I have a appt. with my psychologist on Thursday, I'll see how that goes... if it doesn't go well then that will be the end

You do not need really to sleep. You know sleeping has different levels. It is more about seeing how you go through the different levels of sleep, even if you don't sleep well. For me, it lasted only one night and one day. It's a bit annoying, but very useful to know what is going on.


It is an error to yell at an autistic person. You should tell her not to yell. I am sure it would be easier for you to talk with her if she way talking normally.


You are free to do whatever you want with your life. But I am not sure you feel free.

Maybe you can try this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFfx-w6eO3o

It's a good thing that you are querying money for a service dog.

yes well I have to be at sleep at some point for the test to work, and I tend not to sleep at all in strange places.

Telling my mum not to yell, is just a huge argument/blowup waiting to happen

I'm not interested in that video

Yes, but I haven't told my mum, nor have I reached my goal, I still have $630 left. I don't think she'll look very well on me wanting a service dog... even though she has a medical alert dog