How to respond to non-witty insults

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OK, when people insult me by calling me stupid or whatever, I usually have a response on hand. What are you supposed to say when someone tells you to shut up, or says "no one cares?"

The other day I was sitting in my broadcasting class and answered a question. Everyone laughed and some kid told me, "No one cares." At some point during the same class period, someone was being an ass to someone else [yelling "EGO!"] and so I called them a hypocrite. After the third time it happened I just left the room [I got a pass to leave].

I have no idea how to deal with people who think that that is witty. The only thing I can think of is just beating up someone and getting that kind of a reputation, since it seemed to work in middle school. However, I don't want to get suspended so I really can't get into a fight. Also I don't like hurting people so generally I'm all bark and no bite.

Well, what would work for me wouldn't work for you. The best thing for you to do would probably be to say nothing. The best thing for me is to pretend I don't understand what they are doing, and engage with them in a way that pretends to reinforce this. (Actually the best thing for me is to also ignore them, but I clearly have problems with non-witty half-wits) sometimes I'll actually say something stupid, like "You know where the real money is? Phone books" or "Do you like nachos? I prefer egg salad" just to provoke them (read: shut them up)

Trouble is, some people are literally too stupid to be insulted, so any witty comeback is lost on them. But yet, they're smart enough to quickly do a mental calculation of how many friends you have vs. how many friends they have and if any of your friends could negatively effect his day. It's a complex algorithm done in milliseconds before someone calls you a fag. So just the fact that they said anything means they don't think you can say or do anything that will hurt them.

You pretty much have to act like nothing they say bothers you, because that's the only thing they want; to hurt you with their words. It's hard, I know, but their payoff is that downcast look or that pursing of the lips you do when something hits home. But you can still say something back, just not in a 'I'm gonna hurt you they way you hurt me' tone, which invalidates anything you say.

The key to wit is not to deny any accusation, but to turn it around in a witty manner. If they call you a fag, you say, "Funny, your mom never called me that last night." If they call you stupid or ret*d, you say, "Yeah, I know. I used to be smart, but then I decided to be more like you." And smile when you say it. When his own friends laugh at the joke, then you did good.

Are you still in high school? I'd say you still have a few fights left in you. Just one or two, just to let everyone know there IS such a thing as too far. A day or two suspended will be worth it.

"No one cares" is a difficult one, but not impossible. "If that was true you wouldn't have said anything. I don't think you know what the hell you're talking about, but why don't you pretend you do and shut up, then you'll at least look like you've got a clue. Next best thing to actually having one."

Of course, you should realize that physical retaliation will sometimes be headed your way if you use methods like this, but if you aren't worried about that ... well ... just verbally destroy them. Reciprocity is fair treatment, so there's no need to be gentle.

I was told "no one cares" by three different people in that instance.

I am still in high school, but the problem is that I'm a black belt and so if I beat someone up I'm worried about being taken out of taekwondo or possibly going too far.

Just ignore them. If you attack anyone at all, even if they were a**holes to you, it will only hurt you and everyone will become sympathetic to the people bothering you.

If this is a college class I'm surprised the instructor is letting that stuff happen. If I was teaching a class of adults and someone was interrupting like that I'd literally tell them to STFU. And if they continued I tell tell them leave the room.

Sweet Pea hugs