Hi. I'm new here

Post Reply New Topic

I'm just an older man who's been weird my whole life. No official AS diagnosis, but there's no doubt after joining the site and poking around for a few days.
I have pretty much given up on the idea of having a relationship with a woman. I finally realized that with my Possessive-Repulsive Disorder, the chances of someone sticking around after a short dialog are almost nil.
Is low self esteem pretty common in Aspies? The posts I have read don't seem to reflect this. A fair amount of depression, but most of you seem to like yourselves.
Anyway, thanks for having me. If you don't like me I'll understand.

Welcome to WP. Enlighten me. What is Possessive-Repulsive disorder?

Sorry, I too often employ puns and the like. It is, of course, word play on 'Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder' (which I also have), but more tailored to the way I feel.

Oh OK, I thought that was supposed to mean Borderline Personality Disorder. Well, it has been popping up quite a bit here lately. Welcome Satman; for me meeting the new person is akin to taking on a new special interest, becoming all-consumed with it and neglecting everything else I have going on. And then while I'm bombarding the person with my autobiography I monologue about my other interests, or I ask too many questions. In any case it boils down to 'too much too soon' out of my feeling like I have to get caught up on the lost time. So I can understand that, why it's easier for me to date women from the local group homes rather than somewhere more conventional

2wheels4ever, thank you for your reply and your sincere enthusiasm. I usually drive people away so having another human say that they are interested in anything regarding my life is quite 'a rush'!
I read in your reply that it is my 'newness' that pushes your interest, so carrying that forward, I guess I'll only remain 'today's news' until something newer rolls along but heck, I'll take anything I can get at this point.
Nice to meet you. Consider me an open book for as long as it works for you.

Possessive-Repulsive Disorder - that is funny. Obviously it's not funny that you feel that way, but it is a clever play on words.

I had really low self-esteem before I realised what was 'wrong' with me. I was judging myself against NTs, which was setting me up for failure every time. Now I am judging myself as I am I realise that in many areas I have done rather well, considering that the odds were so heavily stacked against me.

You certainly sound like someone who doesn't like themselves very much. If you stick around, there are nice folk here who will help you try and fix that. There is nothing like being with people who understand you for making you like yourself a bit better.

Edited for incorrect apostrophe use!

I meant in real life, here at WP there are enough new 'faces' for me to spread out the smother factor so I don't burn anyone out, but then again I haven't yet 'bonded' with anyone, I'm not exactly sure how that works here. But yes if you please I do sort of enjoy being a welcoming committee, a good place I like to start is seeing what interests I have in common

And yes I've done the whole 'compare and despair' bit myself

Sweet Pea hugs

satman, good you found this place.. it helps alot
ur disorder sounds scary.. not sure now what it rly is? thought it was a real 1? can you describe?
selfesteem probs come when the world does not fit.. you think its your fault and feel bad.. it makes sense that this happens

silky sifka.. how did you learn apostrophe use?

Just from reading, and learning the rules. Most people make mistakes some of the time. English is my first (and only) language, so I should be able to get it right. I'm sure the grammar rules are different in Norwegian.

2wheels4ever, (may I call you '2w4e'?), my interests, let's see...I'm sure I have some. It appears that since I crossed the 60 (yo) mark, I would much rather sit my a** in a comfy chair and do very little.
I have gotten very interested in meditation and the desire for the benefits that can be gotten out of doing the practice correctly. Though so far, It's just that like my 2 previous lifetime passions, actually obsessive-compulsions, trying to learn to play the drums (ages 10 thru 16, maybe) and golf (ages 35 to 50), I totally sucked at both endeavors, having no natural talent whatsoever and taking activities that should have given some pleasure, but just yielded anger, frustration and embarrassment.
At least with meditation, unlike drumming and golf, it's much better because the object is to do it with no one watching
I have also been vegetarian for a long time. I'm sure that is an interest. Yes, definitely. I spend a lot of time consumed with thoughts of food.
I am also interested at where our country has gone and trying to help, in whatever ways I am able to, to try to steer it back to a more positive course, without getting clubbed, pepper-sprayed or thrown in jail. Yes I am a hippie from the 60's. In fact, I grew up in Chicago and I had just turned 18 the year of the famous '68 Democratic National Convention and thank God that my parents prevented me from going down there because I am sarcastic and a very slow runner and would certainly traveled through life with a scar across my skull
A couple of my other interests are bizarre and much too personal to ever consider opening up about!

So, what are your interests?

HK416N, thanks for your encouragement. Not sure if you are asking how I define "P-R" disorder?
I am getting much better at accepting my self-esteem issues as just a part of who I am, but I can appreciate your interpretation of it. Through age comes the wisdom that some things it's just better to make peace with and not dwell on them.

CockneyRebel, thanks for the virtual hug. Loved the Kinks and of course the Beatles. Always felt the kinks were more original and interesting than many of the other British Invasion bands.

Mick was on a hugging spree there!


Interest wise there's music; listening, playing, writing, recording and all the associated paraphernalia. I have vintage drums and tape machines, a big long console stereo ( I really need to finish fixing it) but I've started recording digitally just for the sake of convenience

Anything mechanical; I've helped rebuild the engine on the family car when I was 8, to current times where I'll cruise alleys looking for easily fixable broken items, or gather raw materials for fabricating new parts

I became immersed in the Beatles after taking a slot in a tribute band, moving beyond a casual listener to full student. Interestingly enough, the 'Paul' was HFA and highly knowledgeable on music equipment and played on 2 symphony orchestras simultaneously

COWBOY BOOT ROLLER SKATES on the TV, woot

er, sorry for the distraction

I have a mild interest in historic US highways, the Interstate system, roads in general and the Pacific Electric Red Cars, El Camino Real and the Missions ( seen 17 of all 21) and Mafia figures of the 20th century

I have a couple 'adult' interests as well, as I'm sure most do. If you don't actively engage in it, is it still an interest or just a curiosity? haha