I know what you mean. Some therapy techniques are definitely BS. In real life situations, life goes at real life speed, not the slower speed used in therapy. Also, there are stresses present in real life situations, that are not always present when you are trying various coping methods in therapy. Also, Autism spectrum disorders are neurologically based, and usually seem to include mental processing problems. These processing problems often include a time delay in taking in input, and giving out output. This effects our dealings with the real world, and stress only makes it worse by causing overloads in the mental processing channels. The therapies don't really take all of that into account. They also don't take reality itself into account. I remember being told many times as a child to remember, "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you", by the adults around me when I was upset at what other kids said to me and called me. That kind of saying is garbage. Being called names does hurt--especially when you are a kid! A lot of the therapies seem to be like that, too, so naturally they are not very effective. Sure, taking some deep breathes will help a little, but not if someone is actually hitting you, or not letting up in their bullying.
I recommend home schooling for kids that are having trouble in school, and also martial arts for them, so they can defend themselves if they have to. There are also a number of coping methods that can actually help some. I am not able to use all of them myself because of health issues, but I do know they all help to some extent, and I won't charge a therapy fee to share them.
- Exercise. It generates mood boosting endorphins.
- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. Humor also generates endorphins.
- Eat healthy, and enough of it. A healthier diet will boost your immune system and is also good for your mind. Skimping on amount of food leads to depression, crankiness, and being more prone to get sick.
- Get enough rest. Being tired leads to depression, crankiness, and being more prone to get sick, too.
- Listen to and/or play music. This is mood boosting.
- Take courses, either in person, or online. Some of the online ones are free. The in person ones are a good way to meet people.
- Volunteer. There are people worse off than we are, who would really appreciate the help. It's also a good way to meet people, and boost your self image and mood.
- Take up a hobby or join a club. These are good ways to meet people who share your interests.
- Get involved in community activities. Attend town meetings, events at local libraries and other local organizations. Attend local sporting events, fairs, and art shows. Attend and/or participate in local theater groups. These are all great ways to meet people and boost your self image and mood.
- Employment/or self employment. Great way to meet people, boost self image, put money in your wallet, gain experience. Since you have been having trouble finding work as an employee, perhaps you should consider self employment. There are many types to choose from.
I'm sure there are other coping methods that help at least some people. Just use what works for you. I had to learn mine on my own over 5 decades of life. Autism spectrum disorders were not recognized back when I was growing up. Back then we were diagnosed as having emotional/behavior problems and/ or being a discipline problem. None of the many therapists and psych docs I was taken to back then were any help at all. They just kept trying to tell me not to be upset when other kids did stuff to upset me. If someone does something to upset you--whether you are an adult or a child--you are going to get upset. Unfortunately, because of my unknown Asperger's, my upsets tended to be worse than an NT kid's would have been, but telling me not to get upset certainly didn't do squat to help me. I should have been home schooled, but back then that was only done if you were bed ridden, or way out of town, or part of a religious or ethnic minority group that was few in number in your location (so no school of their own), but whose parents wanted you to be brought up in their ethnic or religious traditions.
My personal take on therapy, based on my own experience, is that a lot of it is garbage. Once I was an adult I never went back to therapy, except for about a year of it several years ago. I needed to qualify for Medicaid for my other more serious health issues, but the gov didn't take those problems seriously, so they wouldn't initially qualify me for Medicaid. Once I told them about my depression, it was a different story. They were only too happy to give me a one time use voucher to see a gov shrink, so I had to go to a lady who obviously didn't give a hoot about me, and didn't do anything for me in our sessions. The only good thing that came out of it was that I was able to qualify for Medicaid through my depression. Then I was able to see docs for my more serious health problems, and eventually was able to qualify for SSI based on the med recs of all my health problems.
I have little liking for therapy, based on my own rotten experiences. The therapy sessions were garbage, as I have never liked people asking me personal questions, even as a child. The various pieces of advice they offered were unrealistic in real world settings. The meds they tried on me as a kid didn't help, and had unpleasant side effects, and I never liked the docs and therapists. So I am not a good candidate for therapy. I resent it too much.
There are some people out there who can be helped by the right kind of therapy, but it can be hard to find the right doc or therapist to help you out. Too many of them have been taught quack methods to treat people with.
Sorry for the rant, but even after several decades, I still get worked up over the therapy sessions I was forced to endure as a kid and teen.
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If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.--Henry David Thoreau
10 Jun 2012, 1:18 am
