I wish my heart would stop beating

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It does shudder every now and then, so that is one positive. Hey- Maybe i''ll get lucky one of these days.

Seriously, what is the point of it all?

I can't wake up, can't fall asleep and can't function in society. I lose. The end.

I drew the short straw, it's my fault. Evolution dictates I go away.


I don't have a problem with this, I wish things were different but hey, don't we all?

For example I wish I didn't feel mentally impaired every single day, wish I wasn't being threatened with being evicted every second day, wish I didn't have lackluster parents who don't help me out in any way shape or form. But hey, don't we all./

Oh, wait. We don't

Some kids are stupid as a sack of bricks, and get new cars paid for, a free ride to Bible "School", and have nothing in the way of furthering their education. Except stupidity of course.

If we choose the circumstances before arriving here roughly, to experience things we think will challenge us... Then I took on too much. Or the circumstances I can't control are piling on too much.

It's not a matter of sympathy anymore, I don't get any of that and don't expect any.

If I get kicked out- despite paying for everything thus far myself I might add.. I will be hanging myself. That's all there is to it.

just be glad you aren't stupid as a sack of bricks! you can actually accomplish something great in your lifetime. you write really well, why not try that?

Life is worth living. I've been where you are - and worse! Just try to get some sleep or call someone you know. You're in crisis mode now so try your best to reach out.

Please don't hang yourself.

I sometimes feel similarly. I often want to turn my brain off, lie an and alley, and let the crows devour my body. But I guess I am here for a reason whether I like it or not.

PM me if you like. I think a lot of people don't like me here but I'm always willing to listen to a fellow depression sufferer. You are young, it sounds like. Sometimes the pain lessons as you get older.

Well it's not a matter of split second emotional decisions anymore- you can rest assured that IF I do anything I will have thought it through.

No passion crimes type of thing, although for a while there in highschool I was unstable. It has gotten better but yet worse somehow?

As in, it does not rapidly change anymore- but when it does... Oh my. And then it takes longer to climb back out.

Like I said, I wish natural causes would take care of it... much simpler.

I do enjoy writing but as for getting a job or writing a long book I can't imagine it being possible. Losing my creativity was one thing that started this whole shebang off. I get little inspiration anymore, so a whole book seems a bit difficult to imagine!

If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

Thx guys, if nothing else it is comforting to know one is not alone..

Sweet Pea hugs

I'm a bit too cynical.. I wish that pea thing worked on me but I cant help but recognize that it is simply a gesture.

Anyways, I came here to post more problems, sorry.. so thank you for the comfort. For what it's worth..

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I was told today in a rather subtle way that my dad wants me to pack my things and get lost. Mostly brought on by my 20th birthday soon to come.. these people don't take much action and they expect me to drive my siblings around, whilst being emotionally and mentally abused.

Jobs are not easy for me, but it's that or starve. So whatever.

Im in the middle of a summer university class on my own money, so I was rather pissed at this.


I need to sell all my large belongings and they AREN'T selling@@! !! ! Gahhhh. &%**. I have an atv, some other things, and my first car that need to GO so im not tied down to this sinking pile of refuse.

I don't want to leave anything behind. It is mine and I paid for it all myself. &^$$ these people!

I wish I had a tardis, or the bag from harry potter- Im obsessed with not leaving a single item behind.

"I wish my heart would stop beating"

Does anyone else wish this for you? I'll bet not.

yeah i get where your comin from sir, life can truly be a stinking pile of s**t, but thats why we must pick that turd up and polish it, polish it till its a shiny polished turd.....then throw it at someone and laugh at them cuz theres s**t all over em and it shines!! ! . Im sure itll make you feel better, and if not, well, then, keep on polishin them turds n huckin em at people till u crack a smile, and then, youll know what to do ;D

Some people told me I should die once, but they were kinda upset at the time- I see what they meant now though.

I do get hysterical sometimes.. honest to goodness laughing fits. I'm not sure it means i'm happy but hey at least I can still laugh. So there's that.

yeah i feel ya, sometimes when i get stressed and frustrated i get all tense n frustrated....then just have this urge to laugh at everything as if it were all one big joke......in my mind anyways, we do that because we get to a point of mental frustration that our mind sort of lets go and realizes all the s**t is so trivial thus laughter, but those thoughts would be sorta sub-conscioues

I have a family that is pretty much as cold to me as my family is towards you.

Granted, I am not in much of a place to speak, considering that I am making this post from the middle of a mental health crisis center.

But there are many resources out there for people like you and me that are worth exploring. I may have to move from Tacoma to Seattle to fully make use of those, but that is a move I am willing to make. If you have to relocate in order to get a better support system, I suggest that you don't feel the slightest bit bad about it.

There are people out there who know what you are going through now all too well. There are resources for those people in that situation who want to seek them out. The least you could do is explore as many of those options as you possibly can before saying "f**k it".

The things I pick up in a place like this. Heh.