I don't want it anymore.

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If I get an official diagnoses that will only put it into the system that I am mentally ill and/or disordered. I don't know if that would really help me. How do I know they wont end up using it as a way to figure out who they should eradicate first? I mean I want to make my own way I don't even care what it is anymore but I don't want to end up depending on this system and giving into it only to comply with what they want from me just so I can get SSI. So its an ultimate decision............I want to figure out my own way or die trying. Truth is i don't want someone to help me function better in this society, because it's sick and 'its no measure of good health to be profoundly adjusted to a sick society.' what do I do with this, and how do I confront family and stuff about backing off about it.

say, "i'm 22 years old. i have the right to live my own life." then do it.

You're right.

I agree that you should put off getting an official diagnosis. It's always best to minimize contact with the gov, as much as possible.

If you were considering SSI because you've been having problems finding work, consider turning one or more of your interests/skills into some form of self employment.

I vacillate on this issue myself. I am not formally diagnosed and would really like to know for my own sake, but realize that doing so exposes me to the possibility of it being used against me. If I could get diagnosed without any record of it, I would do so. However, I realize this is not the case so I don't.

Governments are generally run by ignorant people of average intelligence who happen to have good public speaking skills. These people are easy to sway by promising them more power and most of them will vote for something without much intellectual consideration if they are bribed enough with "campaign contributions". Who is to say that some day in the future they will not use any disability, no matter how trivial, as an impetus to declare people with said disability non-persons and take away their rights. Remember: the government does not exist to look out for the best interests of the citizens. It exists to look out for the best interests of the corporate-state.

Mixed bag for me, is it really not possible to get an informal diagnosis?

Everyday I push myself past the mental limit and it ends up with me feeling incompetent in social situations, something that I thought i'd outgrow after highschool.

Or worse yet, feeling like a coward if I feel attacked by someone who is aware of how uncomfortable I am.

I don't really want the knowledge for others (as to whether or not I have it), just myself.

Well it was that and being too 'slow' and not really fitting their ideal or whatever. I don't really have any intrests or skills that could really be used for self employment and even if I did i would have no idea where to begin. But maybe I can find work that's not self employment. it would be a while before I can even get it anyways since it will be a while before I could get an official diagnoses.

I been in the gov & SSI system for years after having a mental breakdown & it hasn't hurt me; I'm on SSDI now. The system has NEVER tried to get me to function better with anything. All they ever did for me was give me a monthly check & the state Medicaid which no docs here accept so it only covered prescriptions for me so I had to pay to see every doc, psych or specialist I saw & I saw them on my own accord. The system put restrictions on how much I could save up & I had to give them a copy of my check stubs every time I got paid from working & I had to go in to some appointments & tell them I was giving over a certain amount of money to my parents to cover household expenses but that was it for control & restrictions. What pisses me off is that the fracking system never wanted to do a damn thing to help me function or be more independent; they'd rather just give me a small pittance every month & not let me save it up

I suppose I should really be more worried about lack of proper help then too much of the wrong kind of help, might as well go for it then but first I have to get an official diagnoses and so I will have to figure out how to get by until then either by trying to get temporary work or odd jobs or something I don't really know.