Parents using Gluten as an excuse for AS/ADD?

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Guess this post could be here, in GAD, or Health and Fitness...

I keep encountering this problem with my parents.

I was diagnosed as AS about a year before my dad was tested for Celiac disease. Ever since my dad tested positive for Celiac Disease, my parents have been pushing me to go gluten-free too, since they emphasize that it runs in families. So I thought at first it could have some truth to it, since I read something about a correlation with AS. But I had tested negative for the disease.

But, now, my whole family has gone gluten-free. My mom was always eager to tell me about all the benefits she's seen in herself, my dad and my siblings. Which is fine, but I told her many times that I will not go GF, since I cannot afford it and have enough trouble cooking on my own. I also believe in the test results, whereas my mom doesn't think they were accurate, and cites cases where it goes undetected.

Well, that's bad enough, but before by dad was diagnosed with the disease, my mom had trouble believing that I had AS, so she would be uncomfortable talking about it. Now, instead, she will change the subject to some study she read on gluten, and how going gluten-free will "cure" AS. She will also talk about improvements she saw in my siblings, which have nothing to do with me. It's gotten so annoying, I told her I will never talk about AS again with her if she mentions gluten when I bring it up. She also brings it up when I am looking for loving support while having a hard time coping with AS, which is pretty much the only time I mention AS to her, aside from looking for some sign that she saw that I was different in childhood (again, she denies that I had anything).

But now I'm annoyed again. I brought up how I thought I may have ADD and told her my symptoms. Mind you, she only is supportive of me exploring the fact that I have ADD because it is "in our family" (one cousin has it). But after naming off all the symptoms I think I had, she changed the subject again to gluten, without acknowledging or denying any of the symptoms. She said that those symptoms are also an effect of gluten...

Everything I've tried hasn't worked.

well 25% of the population does have celiacs.

You might get meals from your mom and have her contribute to your GF fund and if she doesn't tell her you can't afford it. She must know it is expensive and thus you have your way out.

Frankly Gluten free does help a lot of people but if you don't want to do it then you have the right to say no. However a lot of people are sensitive to gluten and never test positive for Celiacs.

that sounds really difficult to deal with, especially because you are looking to your family group for emotional validation and support. It sounds like essentially they do want to "help" you, but are not providing help in a way that is helpful. Which would be very frustrating.

If it helps you to know, I went gluten free five months ago, not as a magic solution for autism but simply because I was having serious digestive issues even though I was already restricting lactose which also caused unpleasant problems. I've felt so much better (digestively and energetically speaking) that Ive been motivated to stay fairly strict even though muffins, bagels, cupcakes are my favorite. I've only eaten "gluten free" bread twice in the last five months, it was nothing special, but as you stated, very expensive (luckily some was given to me by a friend).

But it hasn't "fixed" my aspergers. Having less digestive pain and torment has certainly given me more energy, and possibly even more confidence to leave the house and do things that I need to do, but I am still me. Still saying the wrong thing, misunderstanding what we are talking about, and overwhelmed by sensory issues. So that is my experience, for what it is worth.

I hope that you can come to a better understanding with your family so that they will accept your decisions and respect your ability to decide what you will eat. Let us know how it goes.

My parents have enough trouble paying for their own meal budget... and I live away from home on my own. I like my financial independence, so I wouldn't accept any help anyways.



Thanks, glasstoria, that kind of answers my question. I was wondering if it really was this miracle cure that my mom makes it out to be. My thinking would be if AS is genetic, then going GF could only help lesson environmental impacts, but the AS would still be there. Uhh, but telling my mom this is frustrating, when I say that AS and ADD are mental disorders, and digestive problems are separate, she says that gluten affects the brain... It's pretty frustrating. As you can tell, my mom and I are both just as stubborn on our own points of view.

I've butted heads with my mom in the past, and it seems like she can find her own research just to support her point of view, rejecting any research that will oppose it. But my dilemma is that all I want is for my mom to help me through it, instead of pretending that she is an expert on AS and telling me how to cure it. I honestly see this as going on for years, until she reads some other study out of her own free will, and decides to change her mind on a whim.

Another possible way for her to accept that I have AS is for her to "diagnose" other members of my family. She seems perfectly happy talking about AS when the subject of it is not me. She loves to say that things "run in the family", but oh no, not mental disorders in herself, my dad, or her kids. We can't have anything that isn't giftedness or LDs (including depression... but that's another story..)

That sucks... My dad is a total diet Nazi and won't shut up about his gluten intolerance either.

I've tried going gluten free for several months at a time, and honestly felt no different. (In fact, I actually feel better on days when I eat bread, than when I don't!) Do what works best for you!

gluten free really helps me in part because I have celiacs and my symptoms are just worse when I'm in pain.

I'm still autistic though. Financial independence is very important. If you did give it a try you would want to give it a good 6 months to see how it works. If you aren't spending hours in the bathroom or having stomach issues I'd just not worry about it. It is a giant pain in the behind to be gluten free.

Try Udi's chocolate muffins they are gluten free.

Ugh, my anger at my mom is back again.

I was telling her how I think my attention problems affect my performance in university, and again she said she has the "same thing" and it "went away after going gluten-free".

I even read to her what you guys posted about how going gluten-free helped physical symptoms, but did not cure autism, and she would just repeat herself that gluten "affects the brain". She says it is "science, that most doctors don't know about". Me being a science student, this makes me very angry that she will just discount solutions that have been researched to work CONSISTENTLY in everyone with autism/add, and will just talk about things which have only worked for some people, or are not a proven solution for a neurological condition. I have asked her again and again to stop talking about it, but she has told me that when I talk about autism/add, she thinks it's more productive to talk about solutions.

I just spent five minutes punching a pillow. That never happens to me except after talking with my mom.

It's so frustrating. I want to talk about AS and possible ADD, because I need lots of support to keep going sometimes. But all she will do is lecture me on how I need to go gluten-free. Every time, without fail, she will talk about gluten. She isn't diagnosed; no one else in my family is diagnosed as having AS or anything else other than Executive Functioning Disorder, and believe me, they have been tested for neurological differences in the past. But whenever I bring up my AS, my mom will say that it's the "same for her and everyone else in the family". And so obviously "I have to take into account the genes aspect of it", because what works for my family, will work for me

She sounds like she learns better on her own than in conversation, which is something I can relate to. Get her a book on AS maybe. Perhaps one that debunks common myths like vaccination, Celiacs, etc.

Any suggestions? I let her borrow my Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, and she read some of it, but never got around to finishing it. It's been over a year now...