hartzofspace wrote:
I am engaged, too. And I completely can relate to what you are going through. The thing is, that my fiance and I decided early that we were just going to go down to city hall and tie the knot. At first, we had toyed with the idea of having a formal wedding, but since we are both Aspie, we dreaded making a huge fuss. After we had informed our respective families, we made it clear that we weren't going to be having a big wedding that you invite people to. We got some pressure from my aunt. She felt that we should get married in a church even though neither of us are religious. Then she was offering to come all the way to our state and cook for the big bash that she thought we were having. For a long time I felt guilty because I wasn't going to have this huge affair to which at least thirty people thought they would be invited, but we stood firm to our plans not to make any plans.
When people realized that we meant business they backed off. Keep in mind that it is YOUR WEDDING. You have a right to do what you please. You already decided to include whomever you wished. Don't let anyone push you into allowing them to make plans for your special day. You can respond to these wannabe wedding planners quite firmly. tell them that you have already made your arrangements for a small family wedding and thank them for their well wishes. You don't have to feel obligated to invite anyone just because they feel entitled. After all, some of these people that you mentioned haven't even been in your life so why the heck would you included them in your special day? I have read horror stories where people were guilt tripped into spending and doing way more than they intended to, and really regretting it later. Guest lists swelled to unmanageable numbers, and expenses sky rocketed. Stand firm! And good luck!

Thank you, that is really helpful, I think I just need to calm down. I just get into a big panic when I don't know what to say. You are right I should just be firm about it. If I'm adult enough to get married I should be adult enough to be able to explain my choices.
I'm glad you stood firm in your plans, I'm sure your day will be lovely
PastFixations wrote:
You may wish to say something like this:
We are both thrilled you would like to come, however this wedding really isn't going to be spacious enough as we have our family members to consider.
Thank you, that is very reasonable and sensible and just what I needed.