Needs help

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I'm having a really hard time I just don't want to be here at the moment honestly. I hate thinking that but I can't stop it, I just started taking an SSRI I wonder if it has something to do with it I find myself 'zoning out' and I'll snap out of it and 15mins have passed then I realise I've done it again. I can't face going into the house at the moment for now I'm just rocking but cannot get rid of that feeling

SSRI's are bad news. they have all kinds of bad effects. I'd get off that man.

They are a first for me, I don't know if I should be expecting this?
Almost feels like I'm on the verge of a meltdown and it's just waiting to explode out

Yes, that was a very popular symptom for me when starting Effexor XR. I already zone out enough as it is but being on Effexor XR in the first two months I felt like I kept getting lost inside of my head. I felt like a zombie sometimes. I hated all of the crazy symptoms I got at first but after two months I was well functioning again. If I stopped my Effexor right now I'd probably spiral into a dark hole again and I do not want that for myself. It takes awhile to get used to antidepressants, especially certain ones but it's well worth it in the end.

If whatever you're experiencing is too intense, you should talk to the doctor who prescribed the SSRI.
Otherwise, you should give yourself some time to adjust to the changes in your brain chemistry. Side effects often diminish after a few days or weeks.
Do you have someone who could "keep an eye on you"?

I have someone I can kind of talk to but i would have to wait until morning
My mum who I live with doesn't know I'm even taking them, she isnt overly supportive and we arnt that close

You just started taking them so it'll probably feel weird at first, maybe even sick. Your body needs time to get used to them. If you experience any really bad symptoms that you can't handle or feel suicidal go to your nearest doctor's office or hospital immediately.

Sweet Pea hugs