Some things are hard to not take personally.

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One of those things is inviting a few friends over for some fun gaming time at my place, only to have each and every one of those people cancel at the very last second.

I know I should not take this personally. That does not stop me, but I know I should not.

Thoughts of a bourbon-fueled evening are flooding my head. Being a recovering alcoholic, that can end up being very bad.

So, I made this brief post here to vent until I can get in contact with somebody in my RL social circle and start to ground myself. Maybe somebody here will know exactly what to say to snap me out of this silly self-pity party I have found myself in. Who knows?

Sorry. I take everything personally.

That is a really hard thing to not take personally yeah

I am a self-pittier. It's even harder when all of your cousins and friends have all got boy/girlfriends and you haven't. It does put the dampers on everything, and makes you wonder if it's your fault why you haven't got anyone and everyone else has. It makes it even harder to accept when some of your friends are Aspies themselves and even they have managed to fall in love. And here's me, a single virgin all my life. It just doesn't seem fair.

I've tried dating sites but they didn't really work out, I didn't really know who I was talking to and they all lived far away from me anyway, and the ones who did live near weren't my type or had in their profile ''is after a girl who enjoys parties,'' et cetera. Plus I am no good at posing, so all my pictures probably looked funny anyway. Who wants a girl with big ugly front teeth, a mouth too small to be able to smile, and doesn't know how to conform to reality? Nobody. Just ones that aren't my type anyway, so I guess it's a vicious cycle.

Why does life treat me this way?

That is very sad that your friends canceled at the last minute. Sometimes people don't make enough of an effort to honor their commitments, in my opinion.

Let me encourage you that, even though you have every right to feel sad, that this feeling will pass by. My therapist loves to remind me that feelings aren't facts. She also likes to say "You can get happy in the same pants you got mad in", which I think means that feelings can be intense however, it can be a short amount of time for those feelings to turn completely around (which I guess is why you would still be wearing the same pants, in a 24 hour period. something like that).

Disappointment is hard. But that doesn't mean you have to be hard on yourself on top of your feeling. Is there anything you could do instead that would honor your self? Such as, have a movie marathon and eat a treat that you like? Is there someone else you could visit that might be wanting company, such as a family member or older member of your community who might not be able to get out and socialize and would relish your company for a little bit?

I value a saying that goes something like "Although you may not always be able to be happy, you can always make someone else happy" meaning that if you are blue, you can still make someone else smile by offering a kind gesture, even if all you can afford is the gesture of spending time with them or bringing them some cold lemonade or something.

I hope you feel better!

I'm really sorry that everyone cancelled at the last minute. You are not alone, I frequently have individuals cancelling plans at the last minute and it makes me feel angry, which is really a feeling that masks sadness and loneliness. I think people do tend to let each other down a lot. Hope you are feeling a bit better.

I felt that way at my baby shower but I also felt guilty at the same time because I was upset about people not showing up because that meant less gifts. oh for crying out loud. It was the weather that did it and my old friend and her mother couldn't come because they were getting new washer and dryers. But it turned out to be a good thing lot of people couldn't make it. I got overwhelmed there over a few people being too loud and chaotic. But I got over it when i realized it became a good thing people had to cancel out.

Oh yeah people who couldn't make it still sent me their gifts.

But yet I was not upset when someone and his wife couldn't make it because they said ahead of time they were going away to be with family. But the day the baby shower came, all of a sudden people were saying they couldn't make it.

I'm really sorry! That's a pretty crappy thing for them to do.

Sweet Pea hugs

Did they give a reason for canceling? If you got really lame excuses; you can try telling yourself that those people are losers who don't know how to be real friends

I have had that happen many times-I never get used to it-and I never seem to learn. I had another aspie do that and say they made other plans with another person and didn't want to leave them waiting. I do give more latitude for another aspie because of scheduling issues sometimes but it still hurts.

Wow, i'd like to just be in a situation where i had friends to invite. I never worried when i was growing up that i'd never had a birthday party because i knew that i had no one to invite. It would have scared me to be the center of attention anyway. Things can't be that bad if you at least have friends to invite, some of us don't even have that and never have. It almost seems like an alien concept.