I just want to watch the world burn

Post Reply New Topic

For a while now I've had issues. It basically started with my diagnosis and betrayal. I've been thrown away by people. Betrayed by people. Bullied by people. My closest friends and family have left me and ignore me. Nobody answers my calls for help and I'm unsure what to do. Right now I just want to go to the nearest mall and shoot every last person in there. How do I calm myself down so it doesn't actually come to this?

Go to the emergency room or call 911 if you're actually serious.

For the short-term, if you are serious about this, you should call a suicide hotline or, like the poster above said, go to an ER.

For the long-term, I think it would be helpful for you to get support from people who are going to be understanding and make you feel accepted. Keep posting on WP and getting to know people here and, if it's an option, join an in-person support group. A lot of us here have been hurt and let-down by people close to us and we are here to listen.

Maybe it could help you to think through the consequences of taking this type of action. You could end up dead, hurting people will not make your life better, and you could end up in prison for life. Not to mention you'd have to live your life knowing what you did, and that guilt could be horrific. You would be guaranteeing that you would never have another chance at a happy life. I really think you should call an ambulance or go to a hospital. There are ways you can get through this without hurting anyone.

I'm sorry you have had to endure so much suffering in your life, and in a way I kind of understand how you feel. But even though I sort of sympathize with you, I'm going to try to talk to you so that you don't go from victim to perpetrator.

You have to reason it out - if you actually go and shoot up the mall, you will be killing innocent people. They did nothing wrong to you and all you will accomplish is needless suffering. You will also likely spend the rest of your life in prison, where you would have to deal with gang violence and the very real possibility of rape.

And don't think for a moment that the law would go easy on you just because you have AS. If you premeditate your actions and understand that what you're doing is against the law, you will be sent to prison.

But let's say that you didn't want to face prison after going on your killing spree. If you committed suicide, the only thing you would be remembered for is being a monster who killed innocent people and then took the coward's way out. That's not a very worthwhile contribution to society, is it?

I can't stop you from making your own choices, and there's no real reason why you should listen to me since I'm just a stranger, but I'd feel very guilty if I had ignored this post and saw on the news tomorrow that you had actually gone through with your plans because no one tried to talk to you when you needed it most.

The fact that you came here to talk about this means that you would like some help. You want to calm down so that you don't do this. People are here to listen to you and try to help. It's happened before that someone spoke like this these forums and did go out and commit murder and suicide, so I'm taking you very seriously. I don't want this to be what happens to you. I don't think your stupid, I just thought that if this was an impulsive feeling you were having that perhaps you hadn't taken time to think about it. I see that you have. We are not here to throw you away, bully you or betray you. Everyone here wants to help as much as we can.
You seem to have a lot of pent up anger, completely understandable after what you've gone through. It may sound stupid but often running helps me release my rage. I wonder if it might help at least temporarily until you can find a better way.

Well people can be shallow stupid idiots sometimes, but I'm not sure that deserves death for being that way. Also who would be in a shopping mall? Maybe some people similar to what cause you so much grief, but also others. Maybe another young person working in the food court that hates their job and their boss. Maybe an older person mopping the floors wondering when they can catch a break and find a better job. Or imagine a person is in there like anyone of us posting in this thread?

You have a burning indiscriminate rage and seem near the point where you want to lash out at anyone. Even if any of us were nearby we probably get shot by you.

You need some kind of real counseling and to consider how your anger is taking over you.

With that I would say that if someone really is physically bullying you then need to respond or go crazy. First you can consider authority figures to help you. Maybe you've done that already and been let down by them. If you're really in a bad spot where no one is helping you then consider the bully as your target. I'm not going to encourage killing anyone but if someone is bullying you then kick them in the balls or use some kind of blunt weapon to club them.

Don't bottle up the pain and rage of being abused only to unleash it on random bystanders. If you have no options or help then fight back against your abusers.

Dude...

Hurting yourself or others is not a good idea. What you said about going out Brevik style was wrong; he didn't go out with style. He was a cowardly little snake who hid behind an ideology and used that ideology as an excuse to kill people.

PM me. Please. It's better if we talked in private.