I hate how feeling like this

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I feel like a prisoner inside my own head, the cage being my depression. I don't want to feel this way any more. There are days were my mood is good but I wouldn't call them good days. They feel like torture because just as I am finding my strength I get a feeling my progress is pointless and I get suicidal. I'm really struggling to cope with the mood swings

You're not alone. I bet most people come to this site because they feel that way myself included. Most people don't understand the difference between having clinical depression and having a bad day. Depression is mostly due to long term accumulated stress over years.

I use to be a binge eater, and I guess I still am since I've re visited it. But I've been alone for a long time and I recently just lost every member of my "family" so I made a list of foods I love that I haven't had in a long time and now I've been crossing them off. There's like 10 so all I got left now is ice cream, but I had pizza, cookies, chocolate, chips, pop, cheese burgers, fries, donuts, cheese cake

hang in there, It will get better again.

At least, that's what people always tell me, But I know you can't see that sometimes

It seems like depression is partly the repetitive focus on negative things. I wonder if a person were to spend several minutes a day intentionally focusing on positive things if that could help.

I'm sorry. ((hugs))

Thanks for the support at times like these I don't who to turn too. My whole family is under a lot of stress right now so I've found it difficult to turn to them. Last night my mum was told that her sister (my aunt) may have a limited time to live after having an unsuccessful operation last year. So everyone including myself is upset and stressed about that news which isn't helping fight my depression/ mood swings or help me find a job.

I wish I could help but the only words of encouragement I have to offer are that you are not alone. I have dealt with depression for many years now. It ebbs and flows but it never quite leaves me. At this point, I don't even know if I would want to lose all of it as it is such a part of my personality that I don't know who I would be without it.