I Don't Know What I've Done Wrong!!

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I had yet another huge argument with my family today- still crying about it now. My mum keeps yelling at me for moaning and being grumpy all the time but I really didn't think I said anything wrong. Apparently I moaned about her making my dad and my sister lunch but I wasn't saying that I just said I had pressumed I was getting it too. The nect thing I know my mums yelling at me and my sister for being ungrateful an for never helping her do anything but she never asks for help for anything. She shouted at me for being grumpy the while time we were away on holiday. Yes I must admit I was grumpy but because I was bored and felt like I was being treated as one of the kids. I didn't feel like I was being trusted by one of the people with us and I felt really down and useless and I just wanted to go home so I had a way to escape. My mum doesn't want to know this, she shouts at me and I never tell her anything because she always makes everything that upsets me sound like nothing, I didn't tell her how I felt on holiday because I knew she wouldn't care. I tried to do something for her by changing the cannula for my insulin pump by myself and she didn't even show anything towards it- she soon found a way to make it negative. I just want her to feel proud of me and I want the relatioship other people have with their parents. I just miss her being the person she was when I was younger, I miss hearing her laugh and being able to have a conbersatio that didn't result in her deep sighs of I don't care. I keep thinking I am the problem in the house- things would be a lot better if hey didn't have me there. If I didn't excist they would all be happier and would get on win each other. I'm often told in arguments that it's all my fault but I don't know how I can do anything to make it better. I want a family back, to be anlagen to come home and feel like I belong there.
I know this is probably a pointless post but I don't know what to do and I had to spill my heart ou somehow. Thank you.

Your mom may have some other stress going on that she's taking out on ya'll. It may be something you don't know about because she doesn't talk about it. Also, it could be hormonal. I say this because my youngest is 15 and I'm 48 and I'm in perimenopause (the months leading up to menopause, the change of life). This can make me as moody as can be and snap at people. Also my 15yo daughter has her own hormonal things going on as well and sometimes we do not get along at all. Sometimes she's snotty, sometimes I'm snippy, sometimes we are both at the same time.

I do apologize to her and my other kids and husband and whatever strangers I may snap at, when I get like this, I try not to just be mean and then not apologize, but there may be a reason she doesn't, I don't know.

I could be way off base, but because of your age (same as my daughters) and the way you describe the arguments, it sounds as familiar as my front yard sometimes.

If my daughter felt like you are right now, I know I would want to know about it. Try writing her a short letter when you calm down enough so that you can do it without getting too emotional. Don't say "You make me feel bad because you do this or that" say "When you do this or that I feel bad". Just the way it's phrased can put someone on the defensive, and it sounds like you both may be there. Just tell her that you feel bad when she does or says the things, and give her one or two short examples. Tell her you miss the way things used to be. Then ask if she feels bad when you do some things, and offer to compromise and help remind each other to try and make each other feel good, not bad.

That's what I'd want my daughter to do. I wish you luck and hugs.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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I wish I knew how to make it stop so I could tell you how, I wake up every day and go through the same thing myself. I wish I could say it gets easier but I wouldn't be surprised if 3 years you find yourself being kicked to the curb without warning. I had my own mother try that on me, fully knowing my disabilities. It's difficult to present this delicately, but if you value your survival you'll need to grow some callouses on your heart or you'll end up so far gone, and they will be forever ignorant of their part in it

I could have written the original post myself... the only difference is that my mom is in her 60's, and I'm in my 40's.

Sorry this is going on. Sometimes I wonder if the bullying starts at home, so we learn to accept being treated that way.
I was the invisible child growing up, still am and my mom is 85, me 55.

Good luck with all you are dealing with!

It's definitely not all your fault. Some older women suffer from depression and poor emotional control and tend to have extremely volatile emotional responses. They often think along the lines of "If people love me, they will help me with this/act like this, etc." and are extremely unaware of their own emotional issues and how they impact others. If you do decide to help her around the house, expect no respect/gratitude because you probably won't get it. She's just stressed about something, and she should fix it. Just try to be more self-sufficient ( again-expect no respect or gratitude but you won't have to argue about issues like messy rooms, laundry, ironing of your clothes, etc.)