Living Alone

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I'm living alone for the first time. Well, I have my 2 cats with me. I moved 5 days ago and I'm finding it difficult to adjust to. I'm living in a city where I don't know anyone and I don't really have money to spare as I'm on disability. My parents live only 30 minutes away, but they are currently on vacation in another province. This is the first time I've had to be responsible for everything and the first time I've been completely alone. I know it isn't the end of the world and things will get better when my parents return, and when I start college next month, but it really is pretty uncomfortable right now. The noises of the people walking heavily across the floor upstairs, not having the same tv channels, not having all of my books, having hard water to shower in instead of soft, sleeping in a different bed, different sounds, smells, temperature. I'm out of my comfort zone, everything is different and I don't like change. I knew it would be difficult, but I had hoped that it wouldn't be too bad. I feel like I'm going to go crazy and I don't have any support from others right now. My fiancee and I are going through a complicated period, which is why I am living alone instead of with him, and he hasn't been supportive. He lives farther away now, too. I moved to this city because then I wouldn't have to commute to college, I couldn't afford to live alone and commute. It's just far worse than I had imagined. But I'm 28 and I had to move out of my parents house. I feel like it was a huge mistake, but I had to do it. I hope I can keep myself together until I adjust. I hope I can adjust. I hope I stop freaking out on the inside and crying all the time. Oh well, I suppose that's enough of a rant.

Is there any place near you where you can go to chill and relax? Some place cheap like maybe a club or coffee house? Getting out and walking around and exploring shops and parks, and getting familiar with them might be fun.

As for it being different, I think you'll get used to it. I've never lived alone, I went from home to living with a guy then marriage, etc, but I have moved a lot in my life and it's always different and somewhat uncomfortable in a new place. I'd always try and find something that I like about that place that the old place didn't have.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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What usually helps me adjust in situations like these is to occupy myself with something familiar, e.g. a book I like or a TV show, something that you usually do when you're at home. It'll somehow transfer some of the familiarity to the surroundings, or at least calm me down.
Other than that, it just takes some time.

I am in my early 50s and finally got to live alone about 7 years ago. I never want to live with others again! Yes, it was somewhat unsettling when I first moved in here, but I played quiet music CDs most of the time for several weeks, until I had mentally "settled in." I recommend you try something like that, or whatever comfort routines work best for you. Or you can even start new ones for the new place.

I am an introverted hermit, who was forced by circumstances to live with various relatives for most of my life. We all drove one another nuts. I never want to go back to that way of life. I really can't handle the stress it causes.

I'm sure I will settle in eventually. I practically had a meltdown when I had to replace my cell phone and I couldn't assign the buttons the same and it didn't have the right ring tones, but I got used to it. I don't deal well with change, but I do get used to it. I know that this isn't a hopeless situation, and I think I will like living alone once I create a new routine that works. I just have to get through a few rough weeks until I adjust.
I have fixed the lighting somewhat with lamps as it is completely lit with fluorescent lighting otherwise. I still need a couple more lamps so I don't have to use the fluorescent ones at all, but it isn't too bad for now. I'm going to see about finding a scent I like so it at least smells like something I like instead of just smelling different. I think I'm going to give in and bring the rest of my books, because I don't think I'll feel comfortable without them. I'm sure I can find a couple more bookcases quite cheaply. I made a to do list of the bigger things I need to do to get the apartment completely in shape and a weekly chore schedule to help remind me what I have to do. Now I just need to start working on them! I got out of the house and went to Walmart and picked up a few of my favourite snacks and today I plan on going to the local market for a coffee and to browse. I need to get myself feeling more comfortable with the area. I feel too uneasy to go for a walk just yet, but hopefully after I drive around I will feel better about it. It's silly that the teenagers seem scarier here, even though it's a smaller city and I doubt they're any different from where I used to live. I'll have to get in touch with the local mental health centre as I might need case management again until I settle in to the community. I have had a radio or tv on most of the time to help cover up the unfamiliar noises. I even bought bottled water until I get used to the different taste of the water here.
Now that I have my mind working on finding solutions, hopefully I'll feel less powerless and uneasy about the situation. And hopefully once I get involved with local mental health supports I'll be more equipped to deal with the change. I'm sure I'll still rant a couple more times as I adjust, but I'll get through it!
Thanks for the support, it really helps me feel more optimistic about the situation and less alone.

Moving to my own apartment is the best thing I've done. While I struggle with things such as paying bills, grocery shopping, etc., it gives me to enough me-time to keep me happy. I really think it's a great thing to have your own place if you can deal with (or get help with) the practical stuff.

Give it a few weeks, and I think you'll find that it's the best thing ever

I'm confident you'll adjust if you are patient with yourself and give yourself time. It was a little hard for me to adjust when I started living alone, but I adjusted surprisingly quickly and I'm someone who usually avoids big changes.

Actually, I've almost adjusted too well and after living alone so many years and getting used to having a lot of autonomy, it's hard for to imagine giving up any of it in order to live with someone else. So, I guess I sort of have the opposite problem ...

BTW, if unfamiliar noises or neighbors are keeping you up, sometimes running a fan in your bedroom at night can be helpful in drowning all that out with white noise.

I hope you will adjust. I never had anyone live above me an dI havr been living alone for over 6 years and for a couple months 7+ years ago. Noisy neighbors still bother me but I also just can't stand noise unless it is a specific noise I like. I also dislike going outside when neighbors are out there but that is the fault of the managaers and my neighbors.

I am starting to adjust somewhat. I'm not feeling comfortable yet, but I feel less distressed. I have been able to cook myself some food that I like, and I am settling into a routine. My daily "prompt cards" are helping me remember what chores have to be done, and that they don't all have to be done on one day. I've tried to make each day's chore list short enough to be manageable, but to also include everything that needs to be done. I have them in a small flip chart on my coffee table and I turn it to the next day before I go to bed so I can see what I need to do when I sit on the couch in the morning. Focusing on routine and creating routine is keeping me sane at this point.
I started reading again today as well, so I am starting to get back into my special interests. I'm still feeling lonely, but I feel less bored. I am starting to get used to looking after my cats and using them as company. I'm really just trying to stay positive.
I found a YMCA in the area and I'm going to look into getting a discounted membership later on this week. I will have something to look forward to if I can go to aquafit classes, and maybe even yoga. I see a counselor at the walk-in counselling service tomorrow and hopefully I'll get set up with services to help me adjust to living in a new community. I feel much more in control now that I'm being proactive.
I'm still freaking out a bit on the inside, but it is getting better!