FML... What a Day!

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Where to start? Well, first off, the girl I like and get along with that turned me down is now going out with another driver at my store. It really hurts because it seems that everyone else can get a date but me. Sometimes it feels like there is a sheet of bullet resistant polycarbonate between me and a normal life. I can see it, almost touch it, but can never really get there. All I want is someone to care for and cuddle with but it seems that will forever elude me.

Well, to top that off, one of my close friends told me that I am an a**hole and can't possibly properly self diagnose myself with Asperger's. I asked him why I am an a**hole and he told me I was being an a**hole by asking the question! Eventually, I got his drunk ass to answer my question and he proceeded to spell out a social pattern that EXACTLY matches that of Asperger's! Included was my proper speech and rather large vocabulary as well as my propensity to use it on all occasions. Also of irritation to him was that I was walking about and not sitting in one place while speaking to him. He says I can help it if I want to, but I told him that I already try to "dumb down" my speech. I don't get it. It's things like this that make my "active but odd" ass want to withdraw from the human race and just concentrate on my interests at times.

I don't think I've directly addressed you before, but you seem intelligent and like a genuinely nice person judging by your posts. I often long for a partner too, although it generally seems to elude me. I am me, and nobody else. Taking peoples insults to heart when (in your case) they're probably not true doesn't benefit anyone, especially you.

I use a lot of big words too. I've been called an a**hole quite a lot, amongst other........less flattering epithets. You mentioned your friend was drunk, maybe it was the booze talking. He might apologize later. People do weird s**t when their hammered.

I don't know what to tell you about the girl thing. Sorry that happened.

Thanks. I actually am told by many people (including the girl in question) that I am one of the nicest people they have ever met. In fact, her sister's car is in my driveway right now so that I can fix it for her (free of charge), as well as one belonging to another borderline aspie who works with me for more free work. I do lots of things for others who can't pay me because I both love fixing stuff and enjoy helping people around me who are in need. Sadly though, no one wants me around except for the friend who was drunk and called me an a**hole. As far as it goes, he has called me that when sober as well and this is the first time I have ever been able to pin him down and get an answer as to why he thinks I am one. Sometimes life just doesn't seem worth it anymore. I just don't understand why someone who tries very hard to be good to others is shunned like I am.

This happens to me as well. Though I don't have the ability to fix people's cars, (that is a really nice thing to do), I do try to be kind and respectful of people most all the time. There seems to be a trick to finding compatible people to like oneself. Apparently it is of a dimension I'm not allowed to understand.

Same here. I don't even bother anymore. I wonder if that's just the natural progression... life-long rejection adds up, I'm a weaker person than you having given up, but I'm far less stressed out and depressed than I used to be.

Thanks for all the kind words! I do sometimes wish I could give up. I come off as fairly normal to most people I know but I guess I seem pretentious. I don't intend to seem this way, nor am I trying to talk down to them. However, I guess it's enough to make people hate me for speaking properly and using concise and accurate verbiage which does not conform to the social norm. The problem is that there do not seem to be hard and fast linguistic rules for normal social communication and so it is exceedingly difficult for me to learn how to be more "natural", whatever that means. I'm naturally pedantic yet told that that can't possibly be true. It's so frustrating to be almost there, socially, but realize that there is a gaping chasm between me and the rest of the world that I simply cannot cross.