A yen that I can't satisfy

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I'm not upset about it, so feel free to comment in whatever way you want to, but lately I have been feeling such a strong pull toward the road. I wasn't on the road a whole lot when young, but every summer for a while, and sometimes in winter, but theres no place like it. And yes, I'm talking about the carnival.

I want to go back so bad, but I can't because I have responsibilities here. It's not that my kids need me or anything or couldn't get along without me. They are basically grown. I'd just feel guilty. I'd make a hell of a lot of money, but I'd still feel guilty.

And you know what? It's not even the money that calls me back. It's that "feel" of being on the road. Almost a "certain slant of light" moment, that is there every day. The smells of it, the enormous amounts of coffee etc, the way you push yourself, sleeping in such small close quarters, which sounds uncomfortable but surprisingly isn't. The closeness with everyone in the show that's a type of "we are all in this together" type thing.

I wanna go, but I just can't.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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Now I could be getting this generalisation from the TV shows or the films but didn't the kids run to the carnivals?... plus weren't carnies rough people?

Let's see a family that has your back no mater what, vs what most of us call family. Efficient use of space and time. Structure and routine, sign me up.

^^^ AND be paid to be "a little odd"... heck, I'll run off and join the circus, too!

I ran a popcorn booth at a carnival once with some friends. It was kind of boring, but it wasn't much of a carnival. The popcorn was not exactly a runaway seller. Needless to say we ate a lot of popcorn that weekend. It might be more fun at like the county fair because then you can go see the cows and pigs on your lunch break.

There was supposed to be a point in there somewhere, I think.