is this a phase im going through..?

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solitarymonkey
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02 Sep 2012, 7:38 am

is it a normal thing (amongst aspies) to feel so much hatred and resentment towards NT's? every day i spend a lot of time cursing under my breath the behaviour and attitudes of "them". im not going to go into a full blown rant about it. but im sure its getting worse!
for example, i had a "dream" the other day about being in an almost terrorist type group taking extreme measures to "get back" at the NT population. i wouldnt in real life, as it would be too traumatic to be a pary of, but im sure you get the idea..



NoGyroApproach
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02 Sep 2012, 9:39 am

Hi
Some anger for anything that upsets you is ok as I see it but if the anger is building and building I don't think that is good. NTs are always going to be in our lives. Unfortuneately we are the ones that have to figure out how to coexist. Do you have someone close to talk to or have you tried to pin point the source of your anger? I use running to relieve the stress and burden of trying to deal with it all.


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solitarymonkey
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02 Sep 2012, 1:10 pm

thanks for the reply. unfortunately, I don't really have anyone to talk to :( I can't talk to anyone. I clam up and get really dizzy etc. If it breaks into an argument, I actually "grey out". I really struggle to talk about my feelings. In fact, I think the last time I truly opened up to anyone, was back when I was about 20 (I'm 25 now), and I got convinced to see a doctor about my mental health.
I'd like to go running, but I'm too selfconcious that someone will start talking to me, or someone starts talking about how I run or something (trivial stuff, but I'm sure you will understand).
The only thing I've been able to "pin point" about my anger is that it's the way that NT's are so shallow, and narrow minded and won't accept me for who I am, faults and all..
The thing that has been going around my mind all day at work today (after a week's holiday) was that all my life, I have been selflessly helping others, without ever asking for anything in return. Yet, when I need help, and people know how to, they don't. In fact, it feels like they do the complete opposite. Feels like it's on purpose :(



DiscardedWhisper
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02 Sep 2012, 4:47 pm

NT's fear that which they do not understand. Subsequently they are prone to segregate out that which disturbs them and quickly distance themselves from it, usually violently. The scorn that they earn from those they humiliate and injure is quite deserved. It's only natural to feel spiteful towards people who hate you for such baseless reasons.

And I'll drop this soliloquy now so that I stop sounding like an X-Men villain. :oops:



solitarymonkey
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02 Sep 2012, 5:41 pm

DiscardedWhisper wrote:
And I'll drop this soliloquy now so that I stop sounding like an X-Men villain.

x-men villian, or x-men hero? :)

i get what you mean about the "fear of the unknown", and I guess I shouldn't expect such mindless fools to research and expand their knowledge of the world around them.

It just infuriates me that i've tried so hard for so many years to find out what's "wrong" with me, and when I finally find out and offer the information on a plate, they just turn their noses up at it like manure. They should all be so glad I've learnt to control my outbursts..



DiscardedWhisper
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02 Sep 2012, 7:19 pm

solitarymonkey wrote:
x-men villian, or x-men hero? :)


I suppose you're right. Just about anyone who regularly shows up in X-Men would ramble on in that fashion. Except for Deadpool, who's about likely to soliloquize about chimichangas as he is to juggle them.

Quote:
i get what you mean about the "fear of the unknown", and I guess I shouldn't expect such mindless fools to research and expand their knowledge of the world around them.

It just infuriates me that i've tried so hard for so many years to find out what's "wrong" with me, and when I finally find out and offer the information on a plate, they just turn their noses up at it like manure. They should all be so glad I've learnt to control my outbursts..


One of thing I've learned about the internet is that it's best to let to give them as little information as possible. But if you must talk about yourself, there's certain things you should really avoid mentioning. One of the biggest is admitting to having A.S. because the majority of the internet believes the condition is fake and was conjured up as an excuse for bad behavior. Considering how rampant bad behavior is on the internet, that kind of attitude smacks of galling hypocrisy. (And I hate hypocrites.... :evil: )



solitarymonkey
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03 Sep 2012, 4:28 pm

Unfortunately, the main source for my anger against NT's isn't from the internet, but from real life. At work, mostly. I needed to be open about my diagnosis, so my new manager would (hopefully) give me back my adjustments at work. But she didn't, hasn't and probably never will. But that's just one example of the source of my rage.

And I can't believe that NT's say that "we" have "bad behavior", when it is them that form "packs" of "savage beasts" that collectively ruin the lives of others. Football hooligans are a great example here.



JanuaryMan
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03 Sep 2012, 6:03 pm

It's not uncommon. I wouldn't stimulate those feelings as tempting as it may be. Like, don't listen to music deliberately to focus on the anger and resentment for the sheer enjoyment of doing so (if that makes sense). Avoid focusing on those feelings altogether and remember who in your life who is important to you that are NT's. Remember that it isn't NT's that are the problem, but generally people. Just like people are also the solution :)



DiscardedWhisper
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03 Sep 2012, 7:40 pm

solitarymonkey wrote:
Unfortunately, the main source for my anger against NT's isn't from the internet, but from real life. At work, mostly. I needed to be open about my diagnosis, so my new manager would (hopefully) give me back my adjustments at work. But she didn't, hasn't and probably never will. But that's just one example of the source of my rage.

And I can't believe that NT's say that "we" have "bad behavior", when it is them that form "packs" of "savage beasts" that collectively ruin the lives of others. Football hooligans are a great example here.


Yes, we also have football hooligans here in the states. We call them "Raiders' Fans".

I know exactly where you're coming from on real life. It's gotten so bad for me I can't even leave the house anymore. Of course I have family members who are more than willing to make me miserable. So then I tried to find friends on the internet. Oh lord, big mistake. I'd have better luck hanging with Raiders' fans. I hesitate to go into detail, but that's only because I'm horribly paranoid. Justifiably so given recent circumstances.



Last edited by DiscardedWhisper on 04 Sep 2012, 10:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

NoGyroApproach
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04 Sep 2012, 7:09 am

Hi again
I know we with aspergers have a habit of hyper focusing on things. Sometimes it works in our favor and sometimes it does not. Do you think you are subconciously hyperfocusing on the bad things at work? Can you try to slowly "let go" of the old accomidations that your old boss gave you and try to accept the new ones? Maybe it will free your mind.

One way I visualize this in my mind is like water going down a river that hits up against a large bolder that fell in its path, the water doesn't just stay there smacking up agianst the bolder, it finds its way around the bolder and continues on its distination down stream.

Hope this is helpful


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OliveOilMom
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04 Sep 2012, 9:39 am

They don't really bother me. I married one and gave birth to four of them (although I'm having second thoughts about my 17 yo being NT)

However, I'm 48 and wasn't diagnosed until a few years ago and so all my life I thought everybody else thought and felt just like me but knew how to deal with it better. I made myself learn how. It's almost second nature to me now. I guess thats why they don't bother me.

Also, aspies can be just as mean as NT's you know.


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04 Sep 2012, 10:13 am

Hmm well I can't say I really hate neurotypicals in general........I don't like when people hate me for not being neurotypical, So I figure I should not hate people for being neurotypical. I do however hate this society and tend not to get along well with people who prefer to go along with it...


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DiscardedWhisper
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04 Sep 2012, 10:44 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Hmm well I can't say I really hate neurotypicals in general........I don't like when people hate me for not being neurotypical, So I figure I should not hate people for being neurotypical. I do however hate this society and tend not to get along well with people who prefer to go along with it...


Just as a clarification, I don't hate NTs because they're NT. That would be hypocritical and stupid. I hate NTs because they all seem to hate me. I stopped trying to decipher the reasons years ago, pokes holes in one and they'll fabricate another. That or they'll just call you a ret*d, or some other idiotic ad hominem.



solitarymonkey
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04 Sep 2012, 6:52 pm

I wouldn't say I'm hyper focusing on the bad at work, because if you told your manager that being on till is bad for your anxiety and you physically shake (especially during busy/noisy times), and pretty much all I do is back people up on till, rather than the jobs I'm actually good at, when there are many other staff that can go on till instead, and there is just me doing my job (and getting told off for not getting more of it done), yet often more than one person doing one job together when it's not necessary (if you way up pro's, con's and peoples health), it's kinda hard not to have it at the front of my mind.
And that's just one example... *sigh*
Sorry if I come across as arguing with you guys. I'm not. I promise. I am listening to you advice, which does work in some parts of my life. But while I'm working where I am *sigh* I don't know..
I'm so close to breaking point again.. and I don't know what to do.. I don't feel able to talk to anyone in my physical life to get help..



NoGyroApproach
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04 Sep 2012, 8:54 pm

A good manager should put people where they are most productive. People are tools. I know this is not politically correct but we are tools in the work place. You would not use a screw driver to hammer in a nail. I am sorry that your manager does not see this. I think you said this manager is new right? Well, maybe once he or she gets a better feel for the employees and the jobs he or she will begin to position people where they are most efficient.


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Sweetleaf
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04 Sep 2012, 9:57 pm

DiscardedWhisper wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Hmm well I can't say I really hate neurotypicals in general........I don't like when people hate me for not being neurotypical, So I figure I should not hate people for being neurotypical. I do however hate this society and tend not to get along well with people who prefer to go along with it...


Just as a clarification, I don't hate NTs because they're NT. That would be hypocritical and stupid. I hate NTs because they all seem to hate me. I stopped trying to decipher the reasons years ago, pokes holes in one and they'll fabricate another. That or they'll just call you a ret*d, or some other idiotic ad hominem.


I doubt they would all hate you, so why hate them in general.....I see your point though in my experience it has typically been the neurotypicals who have given me hell but I cant generalize them all as people who would do that.


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