Why can't I ever be happy with what I've got?

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I'm an extreme pessimistic thinker. I act like I'm the most unlucky person in the world, and that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I'm not sure if it's because I've got so many cousins around me who are normal and have a better chance at excelling socially than I am, even though they still have their problems what I don't have.

I think it stems back from all the stupid things I have done in my life, and the way I have been so left out, and even seeing other possible Aspies be more included in groups and more socially accepted than I was (it happened at school a lot). So I think that's all made me feel a bit upset.

But the problem with me is, I seem to think everybody's got so much more than me. I act like I have got no friends at all, when I have, although a lot of them are a lot older than me I still should think to myself, ''well it's better than having none at all, and at least I get out and see them a lot instead of sitting alone in my room every single day.'' I try to tell that to myself, but I still seem to want more, and I look at one of my cousins and think, ''hmm, my life would still be better if I was him/her!'' even though he/she does have problems too. But then I think, ''well, they all seem able to share their problems and listen to one and another. Nobody wants to know my problems.''

I am really trying hard now to think of what somebody has got and then think, ''well, even though it makes them socially accepted, is that really what I want?'' Like one of my cousins (who is 5 years younger than me) has got herself a boyfriend, and I feel slightly lonely because I'm older and most people of my age are with somebody. But instead of getting upset and angry over it, I'm trying to tell myself, ''well, do I really need a boyfriend at the moment? I'm already under pressure with looking for a job, and I don't feel emotionally up for all that, and I'm free to go out and about with friends instead of feeling smothered by some boy who gets angry if I don't keep texting him back.....and anyway, their relationship probably won't last because I know what people are like today.'' Do you think me telling that sort of thing to myself will help?

I think it will help, especially if it's really true. Relationships are very emotionally demanding. They take up a lot of your time. And just having a boyfriend for the sake of having one isn't really worth the hassle. Take your time and find the right one. One day when you've gotten emotionally strong and more sure of yourself and have a life all your own, those cousins will be envious of you and your freedom.

Maybe this post of mine may help: http://the-aspie-way.blogspot.co.uk/201 ... -leti.html

I used to call myself a realist, while others called me a pessimist. The truth is you should only judge yourself by your own measure, not compared to others. Happiness comes from within.

That is very much true, also to add... your responsible for your own happiness.
Whereas you may think that everyone else is better than you, that's not the case at all.
Even here, there are some who you feel are better than you but I'm sure that people can name things that they feel that you can do better than them.

Sweet Pea hugs