Feels Like I'm Being Punished For Having Fun

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I am afraid to even think about doing anything I'd like to do, because it seems like any time I do something that makes me feel good, I have to pay for it by something bad happening.

For instance, last night I went ahead and watched a movie that I really wanted to watch, since it was due back at the library today. My husband wasn't super-enthused but I went ahead and watched it anyway.

Then this morning started off by our 3-yr-old son waking up at 4 a.m. in full wild-child mode, managing to pull the doorknob covers off the closet doors, finding and breaking Christmas ornaments, etc.. Hubby woke up at 3 a. m. and his cold was worse, so he was grouchy. Son decided to take a bath and used up all the hot water and spilled my half-full bottle of shampoo, so I was late to work and couldn't wash my hair. And it's my birthday. whee.

I know in my head that it's irrational to blame the horrendous morning on having enjoyed something the day before, but I still feel like I'm being punished for not just forgetting about the movie and just doing the usual nothing that husband wants to do.

Life sure seems to be that way, I can relate to what you say. It’s like there is this cosmic force out there, ready to pounce, and your reward is a series of unfortunate events just for having fun or doing something you enjoy.

Caveat, sometimes people will give you a guilt trip for doing something you enjoy and this can affect the way you view things.

That's just magical thinking. Feeling guilty or being punished by any "forces" provides you the illusion that you could have changed the outcome of a situation IF you had done anything differently, and that's a lot better than realizing and accepting how powerless we are basically.

That happens to me. Sometimes I think I have achieved something, then something comes along to spoil it or get me into trouble. I know that's a little bit altered of what the OP means, but it's still the same sort of thing, and I know what you mean.

Sweet Pea hugs