How to cope with busier life?

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Hi,

I haven't been a busy body in a long while and I have forgotten how to manage everything. My sleep times are off, I get tired after talking to people or even doing anything. And every time I meet people there ends up being more things being added to my "to do" list. My dad keeps asking me to send CV's cos he's computer literate and I am somewhat indebted to him. This stresses me out because I also have my own to make which I am obliged to right now.

Then I have other family members reclaiming financial things through me because again they are TOO STUPID to know how to do it themselves. I also have to look after a family dog full time almost now because again one of my parents doesn't look after it right and keep the dog healthy or clean. And this is all weighing down on me at the moment because I have my own life which I've been trying to get back on track and I can't.

I have been trying to get back into work. I am now volunteering. I am catching up with my old friends and family which is long overdue. I also have my own bureaucracy to take care of throughout the week every week. Bills to think about and what not. So my question to you guys is how do I manage everything into a tidier package? What of these things can I take out of the equation or reduce, and how, and when can I start reintroducing it back into my schedule?

I deal with family request by putting certain days off limits. Every thing I do has a priority that dictates when or at lest before what it is done. It does help.

Precisely.
You don't want to make out that your a pushover (I know your not but in terms of looking on the outside, your doing something they should be in control of and doing it themselves) but if you can... try to limit it to only a few days.
I think you should tell them that you can not always be on hand and foot for them and that their priorities are starting to dominate your life that you have no time.

I think it's this illusion that I do nothing all day because I don't work in a paying job that makes people assume I don't have a life of my own. My life is very much my own and I do enough in the day to validate purpose to it. So I guess I will just be firm and say something like "sure, but not straight away" or "ask me after I've done this."

Thanks, guys.

I get that as well so your not alone there.

I think a written down schedule might help you focus and see what you're achieving on a daily basis and help you become a busy bee again . As for what to include, concentrate on what you need to do for yourself. Prioritise what you need to get done to get a job, write CV, applications etc. Also anything else important such as bills, doctors appointments, etc. I'm working on a month long schedule at the moment as I've been pretty burned out lately and need to take things a bit easy. I just list what I need to get done each month and have a list of things I'd like to do and just tick off each item as I go.

It can be easy to get bogged down in other people's problems and it's great you've decided to be firm with people. Being assertive with people is something I struggle with, it's not always easy to say no. With your dad's CV, it's his responsibility to get it typed up. Maybe you could do it for him and ask him to help write/check over your own CV if you think that would be useful. If not, politely say no and give him the chance to find someone else to do it. When it comes to financial matters, again unless it's your own bills it's not your problem. I've been stung by lending people money in the past and have decided I'm never lending money to friends again. Most people are useless at repaying when they say they will and I hate chasing people for debt. Some people are just crap with finances or too lazy to sort out paying bills or whatever, that's their problem and you shouldn't be footing the bill.

Sweet Pea hugs

Rebel, thanks

Fiona, interesting. The thing is I'm a pretty busy guy these days even without a job so the problem if anything is people assuming I'm not because of the "unemployed" status and assuming I owe it to them to do things for them even though I pay housekeeping, use next to no utilities now compared to other tenants in the house, and generally give advice or help people.

My dad needs help with CV's because he is not computer literate. He lacks patience and any form of understanding on modern resumes. If I showed him a CV of my own, he would dismiss it as something office people do and assume it's all written in fancy pants speak. While he's a very skilled person in what he does and a good provider, outside of that he is a very bitter, impatient and ignorant person. He barely checks over the CV's he asks me to do for him yet wonders why no one will hire him (besides being too old). I did say to him an office lacky can't write about a plumber no more than a plumber can write about them. He not only needs someone skilled in writing generic resumes but someone that knows his trades at a professional level.

My mother bombards me with multiple errands at last minute (as in on the day). And even though I know they're short and can be done 1 and a time my brain keeps drumming into me otherwise, I panic then just fall to sleep for hours and miss that deadline. I have told her to tell me in advance, or not bother telling me at all but this has not worked. Because she has been emotionally supportive over the year and I am not working, again she feels I am obliged to run errands. I cleared this up with her last night, and she has been very understanding so in future I will help but it will only be 1 thing here and there

The solution I've found with my dad is to lie to him and say I have done things I haven't because he has no way of checking it nor does he bother to ring up employers to chase his application. It might sound cruel, but I think it's a fitting solution. I have offered to train him with computers, and give up a lot of my time. He has been on courses and quit them, belittling his teachers. I think it is time he figures out for himself why people don't help him or employ him.

Resentment aside, I think I've taken some things said here onboard and am taking steps to manage my time better. Thanks again