Mother in 'Hitler' mode again

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Only good thing about this day is I leave for therapist appt in 15 minutes. She sent my yes-man younger brother after me to interlocute but my brain was birdshot and I was able to shoo him by task talk. I've been trying to focus on the Day Of Judgment but I get my mother calling me a ret*d behind my back and I just end up wrapping a pillow around my head and start punching away. I sure hope I can get something from the therapist to turn off the loop of abusive words. Details after appointment.

Interlocute: v. - To debate or discuss an issue of pertinence.

Thanks, I love adding seldom used words to my lexicon.

Good luck with therapy.

All right so my mother has been trying to lose weight. Because she wants to go on a diet, she's telling everyone else in the house what to eat. I've been just trying to ignore it; I'm the thinnest person in the house and I eat according to my own schedule.

Which brings up another issue. Today she made a big scene about people needing to all eat at the same time. She already tells everyone else in the house what TV shows to watch. Today she all but gloated to the roommate that she had to erase one of his shows to record yet another one of her own.

She is content to find fault with everyone but herself. She professes to be a Christian. I guess to her the definition of that is to 'like' and forward the recently much-loathed 'pocket philosophies' on Facebarf all day. Once she did bag groceries for a couple of hours for the food ministry but other than that her fulfilling of the Great Commision consists of tearing down others. I maintain a belief in the Trinity and I fall short like many others, but I don't let it prevent me from volunteering at church, going and helping paint houses in a gang-infested community or helping when and where I can. Anyway I suppose people must have a special hit list for those who try to walk their talk

Anyway my brother broke his phone, and when he wants something he damn sure better get it. I've already been forced to give away 3 of my bikes to him over time, which amounted to thousands of dollars being pissed away. He's done that with cars too BTW. So maybe it was because I didn't immediately get up and start building him a new phone on the spot. My phone's been broken for months and I've been informed that's nobody else's problem.

I guess I'm fortunate that I saw enough of the pattern developing that I didn't take much of the bait. I went out to the garage, focusing on my program and resolved not to feed the trolls. Everything was holding up until they came into the garage where I had my back to them. They began talking loudly and I immediately started fumbling and dropping things so I covered my ears and waited for them to go away. Of course momster wouldn't, and said 'I guess that's what we'll have to do with him if he wants to act like a ret*d" and then announced her intention to stay in her garage as long as she wanted to. So I did my best not not give any indication I was hearing her, then I decided to profit from her latest complaints about the way I smell (sorry, it's called being prductive) and tried to propagate that to make her uncomfortable.

It must have worked because she finally left and quisling brother came out to ask "what's your deal? She just wanted to know if you were hungry" then picked at my latest communication efforts. I briefly explained my reasons for muting on her lately. Nobody, especially a former nurse at a D/D facility has entitlement to call anyone a ret*d, ya think? (If I could just verbalize exactly that. DAMmit)

My brother said he should video me and show it back with all the faces and movements. I said "fine but it'll have to be on ALL the time". He said he could arrange that but I must have taken the wind out of his sails with that for he realized it would show everyone else in just as negative a light. Then he said "what happened to going to dad's when you need a break (=when we're sick of you)" I must have sounded like the Rabbit from AIW when I explained my need to get caught up with all my projects. He said "I'm done" and waddled his shirtless self back into the house.

Then I had a pretty bad time before my therapist visit, I didn't get to mention all this to her but with the drive there and waiting another 10 minutes I was able to unload a little more coherently. She mentioned thinking of my mother by her name and not as 'mom' for me to see her more as a person. I thought 'yeah, but a person who doesn't want to let other people be people'

Oh, you've got one of those mothers too... My sympathies...