So I finally snapped..

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During my 6th period class at school today, my classmates were being extremely noisy and were annoying me big time. I told some of them multiple times to keep it down and reminded them of my Sensory Issues, but they persisted. Just to really piss me off, someone (don't know who) thought it be funny to steal some of my stuff and hide it elsewhere in the classroom for me to find. I kept a watchful eye on my stuff afterwards, and tried listening to my mp3 to block out the noise of my classmates. By the end of the day, I began losing it and was on the verge of a meltdown. I felt as if the air pressure in the room got extremely intense like I was being crushed, the noise of the class was like dynamite going off in my ears, my chest felt tight and I was breathing heavily, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I was extremely angered and I was yelling at the other students to leave me alone, and one of my former friends tried to break me and another student I was yelling at up, but I lashed out and scratched her arm (not too hard). She was all like "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!! !!" and I told her in the midst of my anger/pre-meltdown that I didn't care, and she told me the same and continued to harass me. And then I finally snapped and pretty much lost control of myself and ended up full body-slamming her into the wall (right where a bunch of chairs were stacked). I didn't even realize that I did that until after I did. Then she left the room and I overheard her yelling at some staff members telling them what I did. My teacher moved me to an empty class next door to calm down just as the bell rang. Feeling incredibly upset over all the stuff that happened during class, I felt my legs give way and I collapsed on a desk and broke out in tears. I was picked up by my mom later and I explained the incident to her, and she said that she understood what happened and that I really shouldn't get in trouble for this. My teacher understood as well, however he still had to report me and the incident to the school board, and since the school board (where I live) is likely not going to bend the rules for one person just because they're on the Autism spectrum, I'm afraid that I might get into some serious trouble. On the other hand, they might understand and I might not even get written up. But either way, I still feel very terrible about what happened.

I posted this on another forum I go to, and some of the people there said I should be punished and that I am at fault for this incident, saying I need to control my AS (which they called a "disease") better. That place was kinda full of trolls and most of those people don't even know what autism/aspergers is. So I'm hoping I can get some more help from people who understand better. I honestly don't care if I get suspended from school (as I still want to vent and am not willing to have to deal with my classmates again yet), so I am somewhat prepared for a punishment, especially since autism/aspergers isn't understood very well where I live and go to school.

Personally I think it serves her right, but the world usually doesn't see it that way. When I had problems with sensory issues, I simply walked out of class on more than a few occasions. However, if it's clear they initiated a physical confrontation, then by all means, lay them out if you feel you think you can justify that it was necessary for self-defense...or so bad that it's worth risking getting in trouble.

Unfortunately you are very short on time to develop better coping skills. If this happened a year from now, you would be facing a lot more trouble. I don't think it's right, but for now, that's how things work.

Expect to need therapy over high school someday- probably starting between age 25 and 35.

The word punished seems too harsh, like you are going to be exiled from society for what happened. I think a better way to put it is that, yes, you should be held accountable for your actions. If that means a small suspension or counseling or making amends to the people you hurt, then so be it. Punished sounds like you would be punched in the face or something.

It would be nice if you had more understanding teachers and administrators, but those are few and far between. Maybe you and your parents could help educate them about your strengths and weaknesses related to ASD, and create a plan so that you could avoid future violence. For instance, if you feel the overwhelming noises and chaos coming on, you could have a pass to go somewhere quieter and work by yourself instead of being forced to endure what will drive you over your limit for what you can tolerate.

Believe you me. Being an aspie/autie in the NT world is difficult. The world isn't revolving around us. Hell, they probably don't care about us. I support you 100%. Your high school incident will be just a memory. You won't look back and laugh at it, but just consider it a learning and growing experience.

Do you have to be held accountable? Yes. If they don't do anything at all, it sets a dangerous precedent of physical violence being okay. The next person to do something could point to you and say "well, Zipo didn't get punished, so why should I"? Add in the potential for injury and the fact is they have to do something. However, I wouldn't think anything too severe. Step #1, I think, would be to get you and the others involved together, and give everyone a chance to make their feelings known, and reach a level of understanding to prevent the problems in the future. This would (hopefully) lead to genuine apologies all around, since I think everybody involved has to share some of the blame here.

Since you mentioned your teacher was understanding, might I suggest that in the future you see if you can maybe arrange to move to a different room for a little while if it's getting to be too much? Give yourself some time and space to cool down before it escalates to this point.

Violence is wrong, and you should be punished. I don't condone what they did, but it doesn't give you the right to assault someone.

y son gets in fights at school all the time. He broke some kids jaw last year, but the kid did hit him first, so there you go. I'd say they should just let it go since it wasn't actually a fight or anything. You'll probably get suspended for three days, thats what happens to my son.

Guess you missed the part about the OP being so overwhelmed they lost control of them self...I've had incidents like this, not nessisarily due to AS alone and I hate violence. Of course violence is wrong, but I have gotten to the point where I lose control and do more or less violent things........when it reaches that point I can tell myself its wrong all I want but it doesn't stop my physiological reaction or make me regain control of my body. It sounds like this is what happened to the OP.

To the OP If anything while the school probably cannot let it go without taking any action, they should take action within the understanding that the you were pushed to that point and couldn't hold it back....maybe take steps to try and help preventing these sorts of things. For instance maybe giving you an option to complete your schoolwork in a more calm environment. Also maybe they should take steps to address the sort of harrasment that helped contribute........hiding someones stuff so they have to look for it just to get to them is cruel, I've had it done to me when I was in school and its amazing I didn't freak the hell out.

Anyways if you are 'punished' I would hope they also punish whoever was hiding your stuff, since thats BS.

Maybe they deserved it, but you can't go around doing stuff like that regardless of what they've done.

I think you all need to punished!

At your age you really need to tone it down a bit. More self-control is always good anyway.

That said I personally would probably react the same way, or worse. f**k that BS.

No, I didn't miss that part. It is still no excuse for violence.

Bah. While I don't support unnecessary violence I secretly approve of how you acted. *whistles nonchalantly*