No Support System, abusive past

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I don't post in here a lot, but I'm in need of some sort of support system.

I only ever have friends when I'm doing theatre - when I'm cast in a play with people, they become my family. My blood family is not supportive. They give me money occasionally if I'm struggling, but emotionally they are not there. My mother was abusive while I was growing up and it's very painful to pretend all that doesn't affect me whenever I need to be around her.

I wound up hanging out with a couple of people before my play closed, and one of them shared with me a history of abuse. That never happens to me. I crave having friends who KNOW what it's like, but I've never had one. So when we were able to connect over that, I really wanted to continue to see this person.

A few days after that conversation, my mom asked to come see my play. I couldn't say no. But at the same time, I still have regular nightmares about the stuff she did to me. So she came to the show, and called me by the wrong name all night (I'm transgender). And the next day I felt really really low and sad, because being around her makes me feel like that. The person I want to be friends with noticed I was upset and managed to cheer me up.

But now the show is over and everyone will go their own separate ways. I managed to organize a get together that most of the cast came to tonight, but this one person did not.

I know it's an aspie thing to get obsessed with one person. I am not obsessed with this person, not the same way as I used to get obsessed with people as a teenager, but I STRONGLY want a friendship with them, mostly because I REALLY want a friend who understands how messed up my mom's abuse makes me feel.

It's making me realize I really have no support system. No friends, no family. No one to help me deal with the closing of this play.

I'm going to do some therapy around the abuse, but I don't want psychologists giving me psychobabble. I want a FRIEND who has gone through the same thing and understands.

Anyone gone through anything similar?

i lack the OP's talents but i share the same extended social isolation and naggingly unrequitted affections. i had to learn to take the lemons i was issued at birth, and make lemonaide out of 'em. it is still a work in progress after several decades.

I understand "learn to take the lemons i was issued at birth, and make lemonaide out of 'em" in a literal sense, and that you probably mean that you took your disadvantageous situation and made the best of it, but could you explain how?

typing 1-handed [recent nasty accident] so reply will not be wordy- i learned to see the upside to my solitude situation- it forced me to toughed mentally as well as to see my positive qualities in a new light. i have peace in my solitude, no arguments with a roommate/S.O. over any of the things such people argue about. i can walk about my place naked at odd hours and listen to my music at my volume without offending anybody. i can set the therrmostat at a nice cool temperature without chilling anybody else to the bone [i have heat intolerance]. countless other ways have i found that are advantageous for me in solitude.

How can you endure so much minority...transgendered, abuse-survivor and autistic...it's too much for anyone. And to have to endure alone, it's so tough.

I'm an abuse survivor. I was abused all my life because with AS/NLD I was always easy prey. Nowadays my family and friends are stray cats. I identify with them fully, we share a past, a present and a future.

Don't they have theater troupes that travel or at least stay together after performances? I mean, from what you say, you seem to get on well with theater people. Why not try to do that sort of thing on more a full time basis?

I mean, if that's possible. I wouldn't know.

I was abused for 6 years (age 14-age 20) by a boyfriend. And I have trouble making/keeping friends, so I kinda know where you are coming from. I have no support system except for a couple of co-workers but I never see them outside of work.