A simple problem.

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Because ironing out my major problems doesn't seem to be working. So maybe I'll approach a minor problem and people can say if it's just me that's batshit.

My parents were not exactly the best at showing me the ropes of life. To put it honestly they taught me two things, Jack and s**t, Jack subsequently left town. So I'd like to ask people about a common argument that keeps popping up in my house. Hopefully this will give me some insight.

I can't cook, not well anyway. The only dishes I can prepare without burning the kitchen down are pancakes, plain spaghetti and kra-ahft dinnah! (Blue Box Mac N' Cheese for those that don't speak Canadian. I'm not Canadian, I'm just fluent.) I recently attempted to make a grilled cheese sandwich, the result looked like something out of one of the Exoricist movies. My mother made breakfast burritos this morning. When my mother scrambles eggs, she cooks them just enough so they have the consistency of small meat chunks dunked in reheated saliva. I'm not a fan of eggs, but I can stomach them if they are cooked properly. (I.E. damn near burnt.) She refuses to cook them any other way but "rare". If I point out to her that the eggs would taste better if they were cooked longer, she immediately does a Vivian Leigh and acts like I've forever soiled the sacred ground of our home and that I've sullied her name by not accepting her bounty of egg slime with unfettered supplication. (Layman's terms: She thinks if she cooks you something it's an insult to tell her it wasn't made to your liking.) This always leads to a protracted and often profanity-laden argument.

Am I in the wrong here? Should I really not state that I wasn't 100% happy with a meal and that I think it could be better if she just cooked the eggs more?

I know this isn't the kind of life altering stuff we're used to here, but I can't figure any of that out right now.

I was brought up in a house where if something was cooked for you, you ate it or went hungry.
I only give positive feedback regarding food that others cook for me. If I can't find something positive to say, I say nothing.
If my mum cooked me scrambled eggs and I didn't like the way they were done, I'd cook them myself the next time.

So, I'm wrong. Good to know.

Well I suppose this is something I can just toss on to the pile of "Reasons to get out of this Hellhole" #9173 - Slimy Eggs.

FWIW you're a talented writer.

You really have to have a flair for the dramatic to make this problem sound like anything but petty BS. Thankfully, my parents were both latent drama queens.

But I really do need my own place.

It is for this very reason that I'm unable to eat eggs at all anymore. I have faint memories of enjoying boiled and even scrambled eggs as a very small child, but the first time I was served "slimy" eggs was the last time I ever ate them.

Didn't help that my father used to refer to scrambled eggs as.....well, I won't say what because it was really gross and I'd feel bad about putting that image in anyone's head.

I would say that an adult shouldn't really complain about something that is cooked for them unless he bought the food himself or someone specifically asked if he wanted them to cook him the dish. Otherwise it's considered rude.

This is how to scramble eggs. Break two eggs into a cereal type bowl. Add one tablespoon of milk. Add one pinch of cream of tarter. Beat with a fork. You can put in a handfull of shredded cheese if you want.

In a small frying pan, put one tablespoon of butter. Turn the eye on where it's pointing at 3:00 for electric stoves or 6:00 for gas stoves. Put the pan on the eye and let the butter melt. When it's melted, pour the eggs in. Stand there and scrape them around with the spatula the entire time they are cooking. Scrape from one side of the pan to the other, then back again. Keep them moving. When they are the consistancy that you want, turn the eye off, take the pan off the stove and dump them on a plate.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

What's tarter?

Never used cream of tartar in my eggs. Or anything, come to think of it.

Suggest if you're interested in basic cooking to go get a recipe book for students. Generally designed for folk who have never cooked or lived away from home they use simple ingredients, and basic cooking utensils/facilities. And they teach the basics including all types of eggs...

I don't measure anything either, but I figured I should estimate it for writing instructions.

I cook every day and make pretty good meals if I do say so myself. I wanted to start a thread with detailed recipes for people who have trouble understanding regular recipes, and I think I did start one, but it may have gotten lost.

If anybody would be insterested in getting one stickied somewhere, I'd be happy to type up explicit instructions for whatever requests ya'll have for foods.

When I get time I want to put some stuff on YouTube about how to cook things. Maybe watching me do it will make it easier, but I don't know how to work those cameras and don't have one anyway, but my daughter does and she's busy with school and stuff.

Cooking really isn't hard if you break it down into small steps and have detailed instructions. I don't use recipes anymore, I've been doing it so long, but when I first started cooking I had to use recipes for everything.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

So it seems that most of you think I'm a jerk for questioning my mother's cooking methods.

All I can say in my defense is that my mother is no saint and that I'm allotted absolutely no input in any of the household affairs. Also when I start cooking you can rest assured the rest of my family will want to know why I'm not cooking for everyone in the house.

And I really do wish I could leave and go elsewhere, but I have no place to go and sleeping on a park bench doesn't seem like an attractive alternative. (Note that my mother disagrees. She thinks it would be an excellent alternative, for her and her myriad of cats and dogs.)