Not sure I should be here.

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People are coming here for help and I'm not sure if I'm in a right state of mind to be helpful. I really don't want anything I say or do to lessen or besmirch someone's pain so maybe I should not be around for now.

Despite what my shrink's says, I know that I have Asperger's. I also know that I have a ton of other problems to go with it and zero of those problems are anything he cares to address when he can just throw pills at it. But that's beside the point. My point is that I can't see anyone's problem except through my own lens and how it relates to me. I don't want to end up ripping time away from other people who might actually have hope of getting somewhere with their issues. That and I'm carrying a lot of underlying bitterness around, notably more than usual, and this is really not the place for that sort of anger to be unleashed. The last thing I want is to hurt someone when they desperately need help. And if that actually happened here, I deeply apologize.

Hope for the best for you all.

We aren't professionals and we each do the best we can here. Nobody is perfect when it comes to posting. If you enjoy posting here, stay. If you do something you shouldn't, a mod will contact you.

If you like it here, stay. You aren't bothering anybody and WP is a great way to pass the time.

I can give you a couple of sites to watch tv shows and movies online for free if you would rather do that than read the forum for a while today. That's what I do when there are no new posts. I watch tv shows online or look things up on Wikipedia. Or do facebook.

Let me know if you want the links to those sites, and don't worry about being here. You're fine.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

To be perfectly honest, a lot of us probably feel like we may not belong here. I know I sometimes do. However, I don't think you have really offended anyone and no one seems to be dissatisfied with your presence so why not stay?

As to diagnosis, I too am self-diagnosed but without any professional opinion behind it. Some days I think Asperger's describes me very well and others I see alternate reasons for being the way I am. It's a difficult place to be in. Yet, I still have lots of struggles and have had them all of my life. Many of them rhyme very well with the other people on this board so even if I don't have it there are both opportunities to learn and teach while posting here, so I stay. Just know that you are not alone in this. There are plenty of others here who feel the same as you do.

I don't think it's so much that I don't belong here, specifically. I just don't belong anywhere, at all.

I'm just worried about others because for years I've been emasculated and dehumanized by nearly everyone I've come in contact with and it's caused be somewhat hyper defensive. I'm concerned that I'll say something as a knee-jerk reaction that will cause someone needless pain. I was a little bit concerned that I may have done it a few days ago without realizing at the time, but I'm not sure.

I understand that you're not professionals. Not that the professionals did anything special for me besides send a bill. But in either case, I don't think there's anything that can be done for me at this point. I don't have any hope left for leading a good or happy life and the only thing that stopped me for taking my life was pure cowardice. I came here, essentially, to unload. It isn't fair to those who need help, help that might actually bring them a good life, that I come here and spew my misanthropic vitriol upon people who don't deserve it.

Sorry...

Silence is a great virtue.

Come here, read the posts, maybe you can gain some valuable advice you can apply to your life.