I am unemployed. I hate my life. I think about suicide. Hope

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I am unemployed. Been unemployed for almost a year. My thoughts on the subject are the following:

1. When I was employed I hated my life. I contemplated suicide every single day. I had a dead-end job, I was using archaic technology, I wasn't earning a lot money.

2. I don't like being unemployed. I don't like being an undereducated, good for nothing loser, I don't like the fact that all my illusions have been shattered and that I already missed the boat, but at the same time I wonder what I want to be employed for? Obviously a person like me can't aspire to have a sexy job, or a high paying job, or a rewarding job, or a satisfying job. So, I want a job so I can sit inside a cubicle from 9-5 contemplating how much my life sucks, repeating the same menial tasks day in and day out, interacting with people (which to me feels like a punishment), just so that at the end of the day I can spend at least one hour commuting back home, grab something to eat, kill a few hours in front of my PC, go to sleep, and repeat the same drill.


As far as relationship goes, unfortunately I am not asexual and I feel sexually attracted to women. Feeling attracted to women is very painful because it's a need that cannot be fulfilled.

1. I neither like nor have the mental capacity to sustain conversations with people.
2. I don't like to spend time thinking about people or their problems.
3. Being alone is better.
4. At the same time, as a human being, I am wired to want to have a woman by my side and I don't know how to kill this desire


I won't go on. Too tired to wrap this up

Maybe you should play chess or turnless chess.
www.youtube.com/user/byakuugan86

go and do something. when i get this feeling i start gamboling and shoplifting. not that you should do that of course. but like find something thrilling. fantasize some and watch a good sexy video on the internet. that will kill the desire. maybe start using aspie affection dating service to meet others like you.

I feel just like you provv. Been out work since December '09 except for a call center job that I did for five weeks and couldn't stand ....don't think I will ever be able to get a decent job. I've never had a girlfriend. I'm not undereducated though....I'm OVEReducated (master's degree...not in anything lucrative though).

I would just end it all if it wouldn't upset my parents so much (I'm an only child). Plus, honestly, I am somewhat afraid of death.

I feel like this from time to time. What helps me is focusing on one of my interests. Watching comedy helps too. Or sometimes I apply for a job that I probably won't get a call back from. It gives me a slight serotonin hit.

I've been unemployed forever, unless you count one night of being paid to take photos for a band, or less than two weeks work experience or a few weeks editing photos for a company that couldn't pay me or give me enough hours.

Ouch. I know how this feels. I've been unemployed since April of '07, despite my desire to be doing something with my life. The frustrating thing is that I can get a job without a problem, but keeping it is like trying to walk through a lava pit without any clothes on. People have given me so much flack over it and think I'm a lazy mooch over that, but I just can't handle it. And I'm afraid of being on disability, because I'm afraid that'd make me actually BECOME a lazy mooch like they accuse me of.

As for the suicide thing, I've been struggling with that since '06, culminating in my first attempt early this year which landed me in the hospital for a few days. I'm really surprised no one saw that coming, since I knew the stress was building up more and more and it was only a matter of time. What's most amazing is that the attempt didn't work, since I'm very methodical in my thinking. My family who didn't take me seriously there are very lucky my attempt failed.

Through all that though, I do believe there's work out there for me somewhere, as frustrating as it is to try and find it. I may have to freelance or start my own business, but I do believe it's there. I think everyone can do it somehow if they know where to look. If they have stubbornly stupid determination enough to go through with it regardless of how much it hurts.

Melissa

I have been unemployed for over 2 years because of my degree. They don't like to hire full-time uni students like myself. I'm finishing uni in 12 weeks time and right I'm unsure about what I should do once that finishes. I know what you mean by feeling like a nobody because I feel like that from time to time. People my age have wonderful jobs that don't suck, my sisters who are younger have jobs! Despite all of this I do what I love, drawing Pick up a hobby to keep yourself busy I suppose

Who was it that kept on telling you that "people like you" didn't deserve a decent job? Because whoever it was, I want to punch them. Hard.

The way I figure it, if you're autistic and employable, then the best job for you will be one that works with whatever you happen to be good at. Not necessarily your hobby or special interest; sometimes that isn't possible; but the same raw skills that make you good at your special interest. Like for me: I like to work out the odds for different-sided dice rolled different ways, and use them to figure out optimal strategies for games. That means I'm a systematic thinker and good at statistics, and good at number-crunching, which means I could process data in a lab or office. (This is why I'm in school.)

If you're not employable, there's volunteer work; just because it's unpaid doesn't mean it isn't something you could do and be proud of. I do volunteer work, and will still do it if it turns out that I won't be able to work after all. Your life needn't be purposeless if you can't work.

A person has got to have some sort of activity that has a purpose, whether that's a job or a volunteer activity or helping out around the house. When you don't have something like that to do, you start to get depressed. I know because that's how it happens to me.

Find something useful to do. Doesn't have to be elaborate. Doesn't have to be difficult. Doesn't have to earn you any money. Just do something. It's good for the brain, trust me.

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