What the effing hell is going on here!! ! Really really hard!

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Argh! Since September my special interest has really slipped down to disappearing stage and I was really scared and tried to push it back and stop it changing but of course I can't do anything about it and pop it changed onto a character I was playing in a school drama and I was a bit fed up because where was I going to go with that!?!? And then today, just today out of nowhere I found my old interest began to creep back into my thoughts, really creep back and I don't want it to!! ! I just want to be f****** left alone and I want to move on! I do actually want a different interest since Easter I've been feeling my old interest- twilight was going away and now I'm really fed up because why can't it just happen I've went away and came back at least six times this year!! ! Is this to do with the whole thing that our interest are a coping strategie? Is it feasable that I'm coming back because its comfortable?
I don't effing know I'm just really effing tiered of this and effing tiered of all the problems I've had this year I just want to cleanse my mind somehow, shut down everything and then somehow come back clean and happy! Argh I just want to get out what's wrong!

Want it to stay it will leave want it to leave it will stay. I know the feeling at times.

And as an update that went away unless than an hour my interest in the character fr my school play came back and then, because the way special interests work I've gone on to try and connect that character to something else and oh guess what it linked by name and has gone back to- as I thought it was doing- the chronically of Narnia series which was my special interest when I was eight! Argh... Brain!! !!

Special interests can change over time. They can swing back and forth between different ones.
There's no easy answer as everyone is different.

Sweet Pea hugs

Again I'm updating but I might post this on its own. I know that anxiety is meant to make you more into an interest but I think I am the oposite I think my anxiety is caused by my special interests changing and that makes them change even more what can I do about this, should I try to force this to stay- its been two days and I already feel it starting to dissolve and I'm scared! I really want to keep this one I feel really, really bad for the character who I loved once before and I really want to love again, please,please help me!