Seriously considering living in a homeless shelter

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What is it like to live there? I feel like going to one because I keep depending on family and they want me to be somebody who I'm not. I fail at getting a job and it feels like my basic rights are taken away. Plus, for a while there weren't any vegetables so it got to the point that I couldn't go #2 any more. And I get yelled at for touching the thermostat even though I'm so cold even with sweats on. People are mad when I eat food. I wish I could go far away and just hopefully find happiness living life alone forever. But that isn't even possible in civilization. I have degrees, but I can't get a job and I have no phone. I have a pending application for SSI. I can't get around on my own because there's no public transportation. I've been emotionally hurt by family members and physically hurt by one (even though there were no signs of damage) and I can't go to a domestic violence shelter because the times I said how they hurt me, outpatient counselors just minimized it so it made it seem like they didn't hurt me or they asked me "Now why would [insert person here] do that?" I'm exhausted from waiting to get out of all of the abusive situations, literally and mentally. I can't afford a therapist, but I can't be strapped to a bed in a hospital. People are always angry at me because I don't pay for my own things, even though they know I can't even get a job no matter how much I try. And they always imply that they're better than me because they took a different path and started working a full time minimum wage job right away instead of a college education. I haven't had dinner yet because I don't know if they're going to be mad with whatever I cook. It literally feels like my only options left are a homeless shelter or suicide because with those I don't think I need any proof to get any kind of help.

Edit: I can hardly think straight.

once you get SSI you'll have more options. hang in there.

Try to hang in there. How long has your SSI been pending? Even though it will give a steady income it's not much at all really. Have you also applied for HUD? That has a rather long waiting list, 2 years or so but if you can ride things out that long, you'll be able to live more well rather than subsist

Suicide is never a good option in my opinion. Things can always get better as long as you're alive.

As for the homeless shelter, I don't think that's a good idea. If you are unhappy at home because you can't touch the thermostat, because they are emotionally abusive at times, and you worry if they will get mad at you for eating, you would never be able to deal with a homeless shelter. People would be a hundred times worse to you and you would be around drunks and bums who would rob you blind because you don't know how to protect your stuff and who not to trust and how to keep them at arms length. That's not a good option either.

Try calling the United Way Information and Referral and see if they have any ideas for you. Also, the United Way also sometimes runs locally ran crisis hotlines, so if you call one of those they may be able to look up some resources for you.

Good luck.

It's been pending for 6 weeks. I've applied for HUD and they mailed me last week and said it could take 6 weeks to 12 months. But I don't want to live here because I can't drive and there's no public transportation except for taxis and I have limited funds. I could have a taxi take me to the Amtrak and then go to a homeless shelter over by where they do have public transportation. I think the only way I could get a taxi is if I went to a bar and asked them to call one for me. I wish I could have a real hug.

Google Maps says United Way is actually close enough to walk to, but what do I do when I go there?

Homeless shelters have a lot of rules, usually including a very early curfew (7 pm at some places). Sometimes, all the rules are hard to remember because they make no sense...except to the people who run the place. The people who run the shelters suspect everyone there of having drug habits and/or being criminals, and they often treat them like it. You will be at risk for catching diseases. You will probably have to wake up very early in the morning and leave the shelter, and will likely not be allowed to come back until the evening. You will run the risk of having your belongings stolen, but you will not have much personal space to keep much of your stuff anyhow. You may be expected to participate in religious services. The food will probably not be very healthy, and you will have little or no choice about what you eat. You will probably be assigned a bed in a dorm-type setup, where you will have to sleep with the sounds and smells of other people. If you are relatively healthy and strong, you may be expected to take a top bunk. You will probably be assigned chores, particularly cleaning. The amount of cleaning that is expected may seem WAY over the top because the people in charge are paranoid about disease spreading. I have stayed in a homeless shelter where the floor had to be mopped 5 days a week, then twice on Saturdays. The place reeked of Pine-Sol and bleach and I felt like I was being poisoned to death.

EDIT: forgot to mention, if you live somewhere with a large homeless population, you may not get in at all, or you may have to line up hours before curfew everyday to keep your place in the shelter

Last edited by starkid on 21 Sep 2012, 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You poor sweetheart. I identify with your post. People were always mean like that to me, too, and now I'm homeless. I live in the UK, so the council have put me in an emergency house. I don't think they do that for people in the US, do they? Please be brave and patient. Life might get better. I wish I could give you a giant hug. If you lived near me, you could come and stay here, but I think from your post you live in the US.

I agree.

Maybe the homeless shelter isn't the best place for you - do you have any other relatives or friends to stay with? If not, you can always look for a roommate online, though that comes with its own risks and I'd only do that as a last resort.

Ask them to help you find resources that you need. Every individual agency has different things available. What they usually have is lists of local, state and national resources to point people to about all sorts of different issues. They also have lists of private charities and private companies that sometimes donate services and goods, etc that aren't published anywhere else. Every one has different things, based on what's available in the area.

Just go and tell them you need help finding resources and when you speak to a worker, explain your situation. They will see what they have that might be able to help you.

To answer the question from IdahoRose: I don't have any other relatives to stay with...

And for OliveOilMom: Okay, so I will go in and ask if I can have help. Then when they're ready, I could tell them my situation and hope they could help. I just hope they can help in the right ways without me saying anything unintelligent or telling them too much. Or maybe too much is what they want to hear. I don't know. But I will try and hope for the best.

Thank you everyone for the help/offer/advice. You're all too kind and I'm overwhelmed by your kindness. Okay, so I'll try United Way first and see if that helps, then others if that doesn't work. If anybody has more suggestions, I'll still be checking in this thread in case you want to add them. Thank you so much.

Even if you are the slightest religious go to church, you will find good people, a good social structure and good people who will help you. I'm a atheist but I like going to church because it constraints a lot of people with good in there hearts.

I hope things work out. I agree that it would be a good idea to go to church.

There has been no reply from the OP on this thread for a while. I hope things work out OK and you are all right.