lousy life... f*ck it.

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I'm 41 years old and reliving my high school years. Hated that SHI*T. All because of something that happened on Facebook today.

Time to leave Facebook?

Facebook reminds me of all the worst traits of high school, writ large on the net, and it lasts *forever*. You have the popular people, who have lots of superficial "friends". The popular people gang up on the unpopular people, and bully them. The unpopular people have all sorts of nasty comments on their walls, while the popular people have all sorts of glowing compliments on theirs. I absolutely REFUSE to have a personal Facebook page, for this reason. The problem is, it's nearly impossible to get around without one. Employers won't hire you unless you have a Facebook page full of friends and happy comments. TV shows promote themselves solely on Facebook. You can't comment on news forums unless you're on Facebook. Facebook has turned the world into one big high school. I hope Zuckerberg rots in hell for what he's done.

I've actually gotten back in contact with many of the people I went to high school with because of FB. I'm on my schools FB group and I joined just to see how everybody turned out. Most of the bully type kids and the stuck up type girls did not end up with anything in life and I can just smile and pity them. However, the ones who are on this particular group aren't anything at all like they were back in the day.

I've been friended by people who wouldn't give me the time of day back then, and honestly at first I thought they didn't even know who I was, although my maiden name is on my FB as well and I have a distinctive maiden name. Seems that they did know who I was and we all comment on each others posts on the group and get along just fine. I held a lot of grudges against people who ignored me and left me out of things even though they didn't tease me. I felt then and feel now that they were excluding me on purpose because I was wierd. They were, yes. I wouldn't bring that up now though and ask them. That would be ridiculous I think. Looking back, I can realize the very low level of maturity that any of us had back then and holding a grudge against somebody who did something to me 35 years ago when we were both kids would make me a bigger *sshole than they were then.

I just chat sometimes and exhange pleasentries, ask about this one or that one and then go on about my life. The people who were real friends to me in school are still my friends to this day. They matter to me. These others do not. I consider them to be acquaintances and people I used to know a long time ago in a mindset far, far away.

Oddly enough, I've had a few of them private message me there to say "Hey, I remember how mean we were to you and I'm sorry." and I believe it's sincere. There is no need to f*ck with each other nowdays. Hell, about half of us are grandparents and our outlook on life has changed. I accept the apology and move on. I tell them "Thank you, and you're right, my school years were pure hell for the most part, but whats so funny is that now that I'm almost 50, I look back on it and wish I was back there again because what I remember now are the fun times." and they agree too and we end up talking about how getting old sucks, our children, our grandkids if we have any, our spouses and pets and jobs and hobbies and then say "Well, good talking to you, you keep in touch now!" and thats usually it except for posting comments in the group.

I was bitter and hateful about it for years and years. I let a bunch of other kids influence my self esteem for most of my life. It has only been within the last few years that I gave it some serious thought and realized that the people who I believed when they told me all these horrible things about myself were kids. They were people the same age as somebody who I would completely ignore if they insulted me at the store or anywhere else. I'd just shake my head and think "That kids an idiot" which is exactly what I should have thought back then, but couldn't. I can now, and I do. And I'm past it.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com