feeling sad, aspergers and anorexia

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My girlfriend has apsergers and anorexia. She had an terrible bout of anorexia (it's a life-long disease) and she's going through a bad bout now. I feel that I might have pushed her too much and, I don't know...

Just make sure you stand by her side and help her get the medical help she needs.

Thanks, I am.

Her mother and I pulled teeth to get her to see a counselor and she is now but we don't know if she might have to be hospitalized and I'm real worried.

A good friend of mine is at a clinic now for her anorexia and has been since just after christmas. It really helped her, they teach you how to reverse the thought processes that lead to anorexia, and coping mechanisms that help you ignore the urges to fast or purge. When she went in she was under 6 stone and literally on deaths door. In 6 months shes gone from looking like a walking skeleton to looking normal, though shes still a tad skinny.

Its not an easy decision to make and your girlfriend has to be prepared to hand over control for however long it takes, and in some cases people have to live at the clinic for over a year in order to recover, and even then its up to them to continue living healthy afterwards. And you have to support her the whole way. The hardest thing for most people who seek help is losing their liberty for a while. When my friend first went in she wasnt allowed to do *anything*, literally she had to either be in bed or in a wheelchair for a month, but as you progress through the treatment you are allowed more and more freedom. Now shes allowed to visit home for the weekends and go out in the evenings etc.

I hope your girlfriend pulls through wheatever she chooses to do though, It really is a horrible illness and I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

Thanks man. I gotta tell you, I have little knowledge about annorexia other than what I read on wikipedia.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your friend. I'm glad she's getting better.

I feel so helpless. I want to read about annorexia, because, I don't know, maybe some knowledge can help.

I have Aspergers and Multiple eating disorders. I currently deal with anorexia. It makes me a little bundle of joy, i can tell you. I have no services where i live to deal with my issues. All the Pyscologists that focus on adult anorexia cases here, refuse to see me because of my aspergers.

The worst part is when i eat because then crippling depression ntakes over too. Like yesterday. I ended up taking lots of over the counter meds and passing out. I didn't want to but i am just glad i didn't have any of my harder medications here.

Sweet Pea hugs

My girlfriend is now in the hosiptal at an eating disorder clinic. Counseling alone just didn't do the job. I really miss her.

I feel that I pushed her into this bout of anorexia. I didn't know my pushing her was hurting her emotionally until after I found out about her anorexia. I stopped doing that. I feel terrible. I miss her dearly.

I had a relative with anorexia. It doesn't have to be a life long disease. People really do make a full recovery sometimes - and not just learning to eat again and gaining weight, but the thougths and feelings that define the illness fade too. It can become chronic or relapse, but it depends on the individual case and there's no reason to assume your girlfriend will always be ill.

I don't think you could have "pushed" her into this bout of anorexia. It's an illness she already had - it's not going to be dependent on you - and it sounds like mostly what you've done is try to care for her as best you can - so don't blame yourself.

Does she want to be in treatment? It can be hard to force someone to get better, it has to sort of happen on its own. Unless she's at immediate physical risk.

Just ask her what she needs from you, that's all you can do really. Don't blame yourself or blame her. Remember it's an illness and not something anyone's chosing. Ask her what you can say or do (or not say/do) that will help, but remember the nature of the illness can be contradictory, so don't get too frustrated if something you say one day that helps her upsets her the next. She'll probably change her mind and feelings a lot as she goes through different phases of illness and treatment and recovery. Sometimes she'll want to get better, sometimes she'll feel it's impossible, sometimes she'll want help eating, sometimes she'll want to be left alone.

It's a hard illness to manage with all these sensitive contradictions. Just try to keep calm and remember not to blame (especially yourself). It's really not the worst illness - people do recover.

As someone who is somewhat anorexic naturally, I can assure you the reason your girlfriend is probably anorexic is not from wanting to look prettier....she just probably has low self-esteem and forgets to eat when immersed in her activities.

You could try cooking for her if it's an interest of yours; people tend to eat more if there's nice food around them.