I hate that I was destructive

Post Reply New Topic

When I was a kid I would take out my anger, jealousy and frustration on other people's things, which I don't entirely understand since it was very grief-inducing whenever my things got lost, stolen or destroyed. Once I pulled all the pieces off of a relative's Barbie dolls and blamed it on an uncle, even though everyone knew it could have only been me. At the time an older aunt excused the act by saying I didn't know wrong from right. I recall that I was trying to 'get back at' the relative for her upsetting me but also out of boredom. Lately it's been creeping up on me about the hurt I could have caused and am feeling a fair deal of remorse for acting that way. Obviously if I could go back from today I probably wouldn't have done it. No doubt these instances have shaped their attitudes towards me. It was just stupid and I wish I never behaved like that

I've done things I regret. I once took a knife to a very nice piece of furniture. Best not to dwell on it though. I'm just glad I'm not in that frame of mind anymore.

I hate that I did a hundred, a thousand different acts to people that hurt them. I can't change any of that.

Forgiveness helps; from the Bible forgive others so that they may forgive you.

They probably don't even remember it. Unless it was a huge, major deal to them that you broke something very important, I'd doubt they even think about it. Also, kids do all kinds of things when they are little and adults know that it's all part of having kids around.

I would just let it go, but if you still can't, even when you realize they probably don't remember it, then tell them you have been thinking about when you were young and the stuff you did and apologize. Not a big, remorseful apology that can make them uncomfortable and think you are giving too much weight to stuff in the past but something like "I was kind of a brat about stuff like that, wasn't I? For what it's worth, I'm really sorry about it now." and then drop the subject. If they remember it, or still hold any resentment from it, they will tell you and you can work it out with them.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com