scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Don't go and drink What if she replies to you while you're drinking? Then you'll be really stressed about your response.

-10

Still struggling from having that nightmare. Even in my dreams, gothic girls reject me and go for my brother instead. He's already passed on his genes but in my dreams he's still doing it while my genes are going to die along with me. Being an older single male is not "sweet", it's extremely bitter.

She's had her own substance problems so I kinda hope she'd be understanding. Or maybe it would scare her off, idk. F8ck. I just need to not think right now, and if I stay here then that's all I'm going to do. If I had other friends around I'd talk to them, but they've all moved on with their lives and left me behind.

It's about 2 hours until happy hour, so I think I'll wait until then. And if I don't hear anything then, idk.

Cute. I had a stuff bunny my great aunt made, but he’s too fragile now.

0 I heard something back. Disaster averted. Usually if I get all emotional and panicky then people throw me away, it's just the expected outcome. I'm not used to someone being so understanding when I puke feelings all over them.

7

you were brave to share your feelings. nothing ventured, nothing gained. it's a shallow girl who would stop talking to you because she doesn't share your feelings.

I've had the misfortune to be into a bunch of people who were shallow, narcissistic, contrarian, and/or defensive. It's kind of messed me up when it comes to seeking out and establishing relationships, and expressing feelings. Kinda left me apathetic that I'd ever meet anyone who I could just be me around. I'm hopeful I might have now.

-10

I was looking forward to a much needed overnight hiking trip, and my car decided to act up. Too much s**t piling up on me at once. I feel like taking a nice hot bath with a razor blade!

-5 Well at least I know she's just a friend. Definitely not interested in me that way. And it sounds like I may have made her a bit anxious though and maybe withdrawn. Sounds like she wants some time apart from me. I hope I didn't do anything to hurt her. It was nice to think she liked me. I never should have said any of that stuff. It feels like I can already see things between us fraying. I'm a big dumb idiot.

-∞

sometimes we feel like idiots just because we do what every human does - make mistakes. and i don't think you even made a mistake.

She was happy before my feelings came in and stomped on everything. I harmed her, made her uncomfortable. She's already been through enough in her life and I didn't need to do any of that. I should have just let her be happy, have a friend instead of replacing it with my stupid feelings. And now there will always be that note of discomfort beneath everything. We can't just be friends with that hanging between us. I took that from her. She's already pushing away like I'm something else now. I can't do this to anyone anymore. I need to stay away, crawl into a hole far away from people and just disappear. Let them be happy away from the damage I cause. Hell, my high school girlfriend would still be alive if it weren't for her getting tangled up with me. I quit.

In my opinion, you did nothing wrong.

I’m not going to say that she will change her mind—but I am thinking she will calm down and actually be flattered that you thought about her in that way.

Make sure you tell her that you value her, first and foremost, as a friend.

It's not even that anymore. It's everything. I'll either detroy our friendship or eventually I'll destroy her. It's all I seem to do. The only thing I should destroy is myself.

you didn't make her uncomfortable. she's doing that to herself. if you kept insisting on being her boyfriend after she said she just wants to be friends, that would be sexual harassment. you didn't do that. you were brave and told her how you feel. you should pat yourself on the back, not beat yourself up.

i told my study partner that i had a crush on him. he told me he didn't feel the same way. he didn't seem uncomfortable at all. i accepted the way he felt and my crush gradually turned back into just friendship. that's how two fairly secure people handle potentially touchy situations. if she's got a lot of emotional baggage, you can be sensitive to that, but her reaction is certainly NOT YOUR FAULT.