Major anxeity rant

Post Reply New Topic

Hi

My mother is visiting me in 2 weeks and she would be with me for a month. I really appreciate that she is coming over to give me company during the lonely holiday season. Anyway we do not celebrate christmas so it would have been a bunch of holidays and no work and I would have had no company. But I am really anxious about her coming and I feel guilty for not wanting to take care of her when she comes here. I also am worried that I would pick a fight with her.
I started seeing a psychiatrist. Here is the kicker. I worry after each session and go over and over about what I have told her in my head to see how it can be (mis)interpreted. This is looking counter productive and it makes no sense. But I just cannot stop doing it. So next time I see her I would have to bring this up with her. and I would be seeing her just once before she goes off on her holiday.
I also am looking for jobs now. I hate the part where I have to constantly sell myself along with my CV. write numerous cover letters stating i am an expert in this and that. Well it is all mentioned under different sections in my damn CV(which I spent a whole damn day formatting and organising so that other people can comprehend it too). Why can't people take a look at it and see what I have done? (and let one more person say that it is a competitive world and that is how it works, I would bang his/her head against the wall) There is a constant need to "STAND OUT" which goes against my deepest basic instinct to blend in and hide and do what I do best - My work.
Now I am off to write another motivation/cover letter and fill it with drivel. But I really needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading!