A rant about autism "experts"

Post Reply New Topic

I just want to rant, it's not going to follow any logical order, just whats p**sing me off in my head . It's been 8 years since I was diagnosed with aspergers and every waking moment of those years I've spent denying it. I've been on a mission for the past 8 years to get it undiagnosed, but I can't get any psychiatrist or psychologist to see me. I recognize that I'm slowly going insane, I just can't handle the label.

Before I was diagnosed I was a very happy teenager. Full of laughter and always coming up with jokes. I played the class clown and although one doesn't like to blow their own trumpet it made me the popular kid. After the diagnoses and with having behavioral specialists and social workers tell me I'm socially disabled I slowly began to lose my confidence and self-esteem over the years until eventually I developed social anxiety. Now I'm left socially crippled with no personality left.

I feel so ****ed over by the stupidity of "experts". It never made any sense. Since I refused to accept help from my social workers, they got an autism be(false)friender to come and try to help me get out and socialise. The entire reason I had a problem with the social worker in the first place was because each time they turned up, I had to wait to go out with my mates until after they left, just so they could sit in my parents living room to tell me I can't socialise and that's what they are there to help me do.

I've become such a horrible person. I'm filled with bitterness, hatred and contempt for people. What was supposed to have happened? Get diagnosed, move to special school, lose all my friends, follow "experts" guidelines and build routines which I hate with a passion, only socialise with befrienders, accept advice that I'm socially disabled and thats why nobody wants to socialise with me, reach age of 16 where befrienders, social workers, behavioral specialist and "experts" all vanish and be left convinced I'm disabled and in total isolation but at-least with the knowledge of why I'm in isolation? Glad I refused those "services" as those mates I ditched the social workers for are still my day to day mates today.

Problems before diagnosis:

Couldn't butter bread without breaking it.

Problems After diagnosis:

Total family breakdown over it.
Social anxiety.
extremely difficult to make new friends due to social anxiety.
Can't give class presentations anymore (use to be really good at it)
Too scared to display emotion.
Too scared to use my facial expressions.
Too scared to use vocal tone.
Difficult to connect to people due to the fact I no longer use the non-verbal stuff listed above.
Nobody takes me serious.
Lost a lot of friends when they found out.
I still cant butter bloody bread without breaking it.


Why couldn't I have just been left alone to be a happy teenager? I had plans for when i become an adult. The label totally crushed those plans. I'm now left doing something I don't like. I'm loosing the will to live....

I am so sorry this has happened to you. You have got to find the way back to being yourself. This is the risk involved in diagnosing someone with a disability who doesn't really have a disability. Just because you are on the spectrum, it does not necessarily mean you are disabled. it may manifest as a kwerky or socially awkward personality, but if that is who you are, people can love and appreciate you for being yourself.
We are being transformed into a society of clones where there is no room for neurodiversity or independent thinkers and everybody is expected to act like everybody else in order to get a job or fit in. And remember, there is no more Aspergers.

It's very true that if you tell a child he's "bad" over and over, he will believe you. My sister and I are walking examples of this, and so are you.

You had friends, you were social, you were happy and if you had a social skills "deficit" it wasn't bothering you or anyone else really. That person you were- that is the *real* you.

But even the happiest, cutest, most talented, sweetest child will be crushed and hurt if you keep insisting to her that she is no good. These sorts of comments would affect a person of any age, but for a young person it is all the worse. I have seen this over and over so many times...

You don't need a doctor to tell you you are undiagnosed. You need to un-diagnose yourself. If you don't fit the criteria for an autistic spectrum disorder, then you don't have it. And no, traits you acquired after the social workers showed up don't count in this analysis. You know deep down who you really are.

It doesn't matter what the doctors say. If you know the real you didn't fit the diagnostic criteria for autism (and it sounds like you are certain of that), then it doesn't matter what anyone else says. The truth is what matters here.

You may have been severely traumatized by everything that happened, but it did not "ruin" you forever. You will have to heal from those experiences.

Don't let anybody else define who you are. You are the only one qualified to do that.

That is amazingly similar to me. I had my life ruined too because of this. My mom thought she was doing good for me but she was just making me worse. My "glory years" started from mid grade school until about the end of highschool. The only thing even close to this was being in the class with the teachers aid in it every year (except for 1. I had friends, popularity, and activities that I was good in. Also at home anything happened was good alot of the time and alot of the time things always went my way. Highschool things started to go down hill because my mom started doing all the junk to me.

The thing that screwed was all the things my mom put me through. I basically have to write everything that I do even stuff I dont want people to know. Many of my friends are living their lives. They are at the college of their choice or work for parents who are millionaires and get paid money. What I have now is a tutor who smells like a dogs butt and a fitness trainer to "supplement the budget" Once a year people have to meet about it. I alwas just say its going pretty good.

It hasn't just hurt me but my family too. My father has gone back to his old ways of drinking more then usual. My sister is uncomfortable around my mom. When she is home from winter break she says she is "catching up with her friends" and never home.

The only major accomplishment me being promoted from janitor to head of maintmence in the greenhouse. Its some what good because I have an excuse of why not to come home such as a worker was out and I filled in for them and stayed late to do my regular work.