Emergency alternative to crying & screaming - freeze?

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My crying and screaming during a meltdown have a very destructive, traumatising effect on a relationship. I am seeing a psychologist to try to find out how to channel my actions to do something which doesn't have a harmful effect.

But I need an urgent interim solution because I am causing trauma to the person I love. If I try to force myself to be quiet, it's like a volcano that just bursts through the earth even worse somewhere else, with more crying and screaming.

I know that some people have a 'freeze' reaction during anxiety and anger, and I really wish I could induce that. How do you do it in a manner that it stays a freeze and doesn't turn into fighting or screaming? That would really help the situation. Or if I could dissociate/zone out in a way that I lose my awareness of what's happening around me, or even be unconscious, it would be better.

I don't mean for this to be a permanent solution; that's why I am seeing a psychologist. I need something for now that won't harm someone else.

In the past I sometimes used to harm myself physically so that I would not harm another person directly, and that is my other alternative. I once caused some nerve damage when I bit myself, so I need to do something that won't last so long. I am considering piercing my leg with my nails. Please, I know it's not nice to give someone advice on how to harm herself, but if you know of something I can do that will not be too awful, but will allow me to channel the rage, please tell me. Writing on my body with a thick black pen is sometimes not enough. My anxious crying is seen as an attack, and anger is also seen as an attack, so I must find a way of channeling these feelings towards myself temporarily. Just until I find out how to do it in a better way.

I've convinced myself that quiet is more intimidating, and that helps me simmer it down-talking quietly enough that I don't let on how close I am to screaming.

But I don't want to be intimidating. I don't want to be perceived as aggressive. I want to keep myself from harming someone.

If I start having a meltdown due to an issue in my relationship, I've learned to fight with my hat: I put my hat on and leave.

I used to do all that screaming... and often breaking things and hurting myself, but after realizing how many times it has damaged me and my relationships, I've learned that once I start feeling out of control, I will just go outside by myself, take a walk, and not come back until I feel like I can talk calmly.

I was going to say; leave, also.

This might seem kind of stupid, but sometimes when I feel that overwhelmed, it helps a lot to burn up some of the excess energy I have. I don't know if what I experience is a meltdown; I just fly into a fit of rage. Usually, at the same time, I'll be extremely anxious/fidgety- coming out of my skin.

It seems like expending the energy weakens the intensity of the raging. So if I am able, I will go for a run or a power walk.

There is a theory that people self-harm to release endorphins, which will make them feel better. Exercise also releases endorphins. By this logic, you could take the edge off with vigorous exercise.

I also like handling my fits this way because it usually helps to remove myself from the environment I'm in at the time and get away from any people in my bubble.

You could try snapping an elastic band against your wrist if you think a short release of pain might help. I would say to walk away as well, even if you take yourself off somewhere on your own to have a meltdown. Maybe agree a phrase or codeword with the other person if they have a tendency to push for a reaction out of you. I tell my boyfriend 'I need a minute' when I start to get stressed and a little aggressive or think I may be overreacting to something.

I can get those sudden bursts of emotion that just feel like they have to come out, though in my case they seem linked to the manic stage of bipolar. If I am completely alone its not too bad. I talk to myself in a loud voice, pound a desk, pace, and sometimes throw or break something (I have learned not to break anything expensive though, so I know I am not losing it completely ) But if I am not alone its always negative, because although I never shout or threaten anyone else, just seeing me lose my control freaks them out or scares them. They have suggested going out into the woods and yelling at a tree or something simliar, but I haven't taken that road for some reason. I heard that in Japan they have a tradition of having a rock outside they go yell at. Not sure if thats true. So anyway, what I do now is let those close to know I am in that mood and by prior agreement I will go somewhere and be by myself in the house until I am over the feelings. It may be just 20 minutes or it may be several hours. I don't believe what my brain is telling me, and just do something/anything till it shuts up.