Making appointments and telling my angry dad

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Lately, I've been experiencing a great deal of depression and anxiety over things. I am going to be starting graduate school for my degree in January. My sister got out of school for Christmas too and I am nervous about that. I usually spend most of my days doing the same thing, which is mainly watching my sisters kid and using the computer when he is asleep.

Anyways, if I am feeling especially anxious and I have an appointment on the same day, I will call them and ask to change the date to a time when I am less anxious. Like this morning for instance, I was supposed to see my vocational counselor today at 2:30 to 3. I wanted to see if I could get an earlier time like 1, but she said she was full and we agreed to change the time to tomorrow. Like normal, I tell my dad, and he got mad and told me I was being "unreasonable" with my counselor for changing the time and that I should quit "screwing" with my appointments. He asked me why I did it, I didn't say anything, because he got mad a month or so earlier and told I was using Aspergers to make excuses. I am not, I merely explain to him what is going on. I feel like he is okay with whatever my sisters want to do, but he always clamps down on me. I wish I wasn't his firstborn son and had all this pressure on me to do everything.

I don't know if I'm in the wrong or the right. I always call and show up for the appointments even if I change them, so I don't really see what the problem is.

It can be really hard when someone else is keeping an eye on your own schedule. I find it difficult to juggle my own needs vs. my family's expectations as well. They have been fairly understanding with me when I get overwhelmed and don't go to my volunteering or have to put off doing something social.

I try as best as I can not to overbook myself thru the week, because I Know that too many meetings and activities will equal total shut down, drained out, not my best. But even so, today I missed literally every activity I had looked forward to doing, simply because I felt horrible, and was still drained from a weekend christmas type visit with my sister's very loud, active (wonderful, but still very exhausting) family.

I'm sorry that your dad is hard on you about it. it sounds like you are doing your best. maybe your father has a level of anxiety that he feels when you don't go to your meetings, I know mine does, which is frustrating because it is not his meeting. Mine likes to have everything written in the calendar and then followed to the letter so that he is prepared for who is coming and going, but I neglect to put things on the family calendar because I know it will start the cycle of his expectations vs. what I am actually able to do that day (which may be everything I plan to do, part of the things I plan to do, or like today unfortunately none of them).

I hope you feel better and it works out for you