Does this get any easier?

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I would call myself very immature. Naive, amiable, and self-deceptive. I don't so much lie as change my version of events to make things easier on myself. Valuing what I want to perceive over what others see in me. Even when people talk to me, I will agree with them, but I can still hold to what I think. And sometimes what I think and what is actually happens is at such a discontinuity that I melt down. Those meltdowns can get pretty intense. Mostly dealing with expectations and memories of the past not aligning with what actually happens. Not understanding what people expect of me, and grossly misunderstanding social constructs.

I have gotten better at coping, and countering this. I am just ending up in more and more difficult situations however. I am pushing myself with what I want to be, and I am not sure I can keep up. I have to step back and think about what I am actually capable of. Especially when dealing with other people. I am making mistakes that I will have to live with. Make and loose friends.

I have known that my obsessions are wrong for six years. All that I did from that was turn it into a bigger obsession and become anxious and depressed. I have to make it stop no matter what, without hurting myself or others. Not blaming others, not having crazy delusions of what is happening. No matter what happens, or how hard it is for me to deal with.

That is what I have to think when I play to relax and be at peace with myself.

I am only in my early twenties, still plenty of time and opportunities. I have managed to not completely screw everything up to this point. Sheer dumb luck. And I can BS my way through advanced math based engineering courses only half-learning everything because my analytic and test taking skills are just that good. Means I have to work extra hard right now.

Anxiety and depression can really warp your perception, believe me I learned this one a long time ago. Add confusion to it due to a lack of intuitive social knowledge, and it can be very easy to get overwhelmed. These are just things I remind myself.

I am not always right, in fact I can be spectacularly wrong
Try to pause and think. My first reaction is just that--reactive
Change takes time.Growth takes time. It's not a race.
It's okay not to do it perfectly.Muddling through is acceptable.

Ugh, that reads like those cheesy postcard books. Honest sentiment, though. I've seen your posts before, and there always seems to be such an underlying anger and drivenness to them. My best advice I guess would be try to pause more. Stay in the moment as much as you can. Ask and listen openly to what people are saying. They might not be correct, but communication involves sharing both sides. It's okay to speak up if you don't agree. If you're so focused on being "amiable", then one side of the current is shut down. It's okay to be direct.
As for obsessions, I see the desire to VANQUISH AT ALL COSTS!! ! Understandable, but approaching it in that manner creates such a WINNER/LOSER scenario that is so much stress to be under. Instead of a battering ram, maybe some slight of hand would serve you better.Something less fraught with tension, but can still divert you from wearing in the grooves in the road that much further.
Hang in there...

Good for you, and thanks for the compliment . It's always nice to be able to help, especially when I'm feeling like I'm set to a different wavelength from so many people. One more thing. I don't believe in internalizing anger. Anger is a sign that a boundary is being overstepped, or some need isn't being met properly. Addressing the underlying issues there, whether it's just a raging perfectionism or a need to be taken into account more seriously, is going to lead you to that calmness IMHO. It's about anger management, being angry by itself isn't a bad thing but poor expression of it is.
Glad to here there are some good things going for you, too.

Not having much luck posting tonight. Just remember that traffic follows a much more concrete path than people. Social interactions feel more like bumper cars to me. Maybe it makes more sense to you.

You're not from Naperville then.

Right now I need to just keep working at things. No pain, no gain. I have always been somewhat terrible at working on things I don't enjoy. I must be a static magnetic field.

To answer my own question: Yes

Just learning to live in the moment and not let my thoughts and anxieties control me. I will make mistakes, but I will learn from them. Making some new friends has helped tremendously. I can focus on how other people see me, and use that to guide my actions.

Still having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, worries keeping me down. And I could be doing better at my schoolwork. Still fiddling with how I find meaning in my existence.

Sweet Pea hugs