Living at home and contributing, now have NO privacy

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This time I have good reason to believe my mother and brother burnt up their Family Card. Over the past few weeks my egg donor, unhappy in her own life, had been making threats to invade my bedroom and arrange it to the way she sees fit. I pay the local going rate for room rent (they actually put me on the mortgage in 2008) as well as internet, and at least 60% of my EBT food allowance goes to household food. I haven't touched alcohol since 2005 and haven't abused any meds or drugs since 2002. I do still smoke tobacco on the sly and I have my "adult" special interest items which I am in mortal terror of these people who I share a strand of DNA with ever finding, especially considering the extent of their HypoChristianity.

Today, to keep it short, I was denied my routine when I got up, received a big lecture about me hurting everyone's feelings on Xmas (I hardly said 'boo' to them beyond saying and showing what I thought was appreciation for their presents) and got threatened to have my room invaded again and was accused of neglecting my birds. So I started cleaning out my room and it wasn't 15 minutes before someone had to b***h about me making multiple trips to discard things or put them in a pile to deal with later. An hour later I made the mistake of saying I had a headache (from the long diatribe on how sh***y of a person I am) and someone said to go lay down (what, and hear more about my failings when nothing got completed?)

So I went back into my room from outside where I was working at that moment and pretended to be laying down while I in fact continued to clean. I managed to get a lot accomplished, however a couple of hours later someone made a point of knocking on my door and asking what I was doing, due to the sound of the steam cleaner I was spot cleaning with. It went down that I was"suspicious" for me cleaning with the door closed, and it turns out that they have some kind of hangup about anyone who wishes to have their door closed, playing the "WE all do it, WHY can;t YOU?" crap. How is it that these people want me to improve communication with them while saying and doing things that will guarantee that I will further shut them out? I know legally, they'll have to get a judge to sign an order to allow them to see what's in my room. I have no opportune moment to pull that card; if I do I'll likely be threatened to have to prove my word to authorities against their fabrications. I so badly wanted to split earlier and actually have somewhere I could go to give them something to sweat about. If only I planned a date earlier on...what reason could there possibly be left for me not to just get this life over with, why bother postponing the inevitable?

Why is your family so invasive at your age? My family are supportive of me and contribute a portion of the rent towards the garden cabin/flat where I stay, about 2 km from them. When I had difficulties a few years ago (which is before I was officially diagnosed with AS) I had to move from another city and come stay with them in their townhouse, which was the most difficult time of my life - I was so stressed at that time that I could not sleep properly, had fluttering noises in my head and various other health problems, mostly from post traumatic syndrome. The depression was mainly caused by a near suicide attempt on the part of my soul mate. Then due to financial reasons we had to move to different cities. Luckily we still see each other regularly and things have gotten better. (I am certain he's also on the spectrum!)

The reason I'm telling you all this is not to burden you with my past problems, but to supply a context in which I could help you. I also became paranoid at the time I was staying under their roof, and kept seeing them as invasive, interfering control freaks. My mom and stepfather are fundamentalist Christians and diffficult to talk to about certain issues which are non negotiable to them.

You have the right to some privacy and I hope the possibility exists that you could get a place of your own, however small, proviided you are able to survive on your own, prepare basic meals or whatever? Every small step taken is a step forward.

I have it much worse. My mom (whom I have been forced to live with for 29 years now, even after moving out to the studio off our house) constantly walks into my room without asking, rifles through my things, looks through the envelope I use for saving money and counts it without my permission. She tells me what I can and can't do in the house (such as pass through the kitchen which connects my room to the rest of the house thanks to "City Fire Code" demanding our studio be remodeled!), and otherwise abuses her conservatorship power to virtually treat me like a slave.

She burned her Family Card up with me years ago, and I'm nearly to the point of stealing the '94 Ford Escort she gave me just to get away even though I have NO LICENSE OR INSURANCE.