New member, lonely and depressed

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I've always struggled with depression, but it's only over the past year that I've realized just how unusual I am in term of social skills and not having any, and it's made me extremely miserable. I see other people interacting with their friends, having a good time, etc., and feel overwhelmingly. I have one very good friend, but she's overloaded herself with classes and extracurriculars, so I hardly ever see her, and when I do she's often stressed out herself. I have one sort-friend who's living in another country. And I have one friend who I met recently who I'm not sure will really accept me once she gets to know me better. And that's it.

Every attempt to join a group has led to me being excluded. My first three years of college I had had so many bad experiences in high school that I never spoke to or looked at anyone except this one friend. This year, my fourth year, I wanted things to be different. I joined an outdoor adventure club, figured I love hiking and outdoorsey types would be laid-back and open. They were--to everyone but me. No one talked to me. Turns out there was an "initiation" and I was the only new member not initiated, even though I came to every event and brought food to every potluck. I confronted the people in charge. They assured me that it wasn't a popularity contest, but wouldn't give another explanation.

This was a few weeks ago. It still bothers me because my therapist and my friend both convinced me that if I just smiled, was friendly and polite, and put myself out there, I would be accepted. This felt like my very best effort, and it didn't work. It took a lot of courage to try it, and now I'm not sure if I have that courage anymore.

I will be going to graduate school next year (if I get in), away from my good friend, and I'm so scared that I will end up with no friends. People form groups almost instantly. I always miss it, and then I'm shut out. And when I do try, it fails.

I have to do nearly everything alone, and it's not nearly as much fun. I feel overwhelmed seeing other people laughing and talking with their friends, and wanting it so badly but not understanding why I can't have it. I have tried so hard to act normal and it didn't work. I am worried that the rest of my life will be like this, alone and miserable. I want to go into academia, specifically anthropology, where eccentricity is the norm, but I worry that AS will prevent me from getting/keeping a job and being successful.

I am not sure whether my life will get any better or whether I will ever be happier, and it scares me so much.

i hope you know that you are welcome here and among fellow travellers [not necessarily the red kind].

I have responded to some of your other posts; I wish I'd read this one first. I tried college when I was younger and it was a disaster, both academically and socially. You are there to get educated and you are doing just that. Success!

To me college was worse then high school in a way. When I was a kid I was bullied horribly. By high school, I didn't do great, but I got by with some basic social tricks like asking questions and drawing people out and listening to them. But college was a social blackhole where I was like a ghost; nobody even noticed me to bully me.

I finally gave up college and just got a regular job, but since being married, I don't hang out with people although I have conversed at church and work. If you're worried about having trouble finding a job and stuff, all I can say is play the game and interview well. If you're majoring in Anthroplogy though, I would expect anyone in that field to march to a different tune.

I can relate. I have depression and struggle with it and feel my social skills are practically zero if I make friends I just am not able to keep them. Most people don't contact me when I email or text them even on Facebook. It is very sad when you feel as though you don't have a single friend. The closest friend I have is very busy she contacted me the other day. She has a partner too so has limited time on her hands it is good to catch up with her when she is free.

Have had a sad week trying to contact a couple of people I class as "friends" and they haven't replied to me. I have never had a best friend and most groups I have joined while I can get along I make an effort to socialise outside the group to make friends and it comes to nothing. No one ever invites me anywhere NEVER. Would be great for someone to invite out for lunch or coffee but this never happens. I always have to initiate contact.

I am always alone would love some girlfriends it makes me sad to see other girls with their girlfriends but have had very very few friends my entire life. I want to be accepted for who I am.
Most groups I have joined I just cannot click with people and wind up just making acquaintances. I am not invited out by my workmates either I just see them at work. I get along with most of my workmates but not keen on socialising with them as they are cliquey. I am happy to have acquaintances at work.

Have had therapy and been on medication for depression but nothing has worked. Have social anxiety too and don't have a lot of interests so being shy and having few interests with people would be reasons why it is hard to connect with people but also realising not being able to read body language is a problem too can read some social cues but miss a lot of other cues. I find meeting new people and social situations very difficult it is a problem for a lot of us Aspies.
At least you have 3 friends I only have one good friend and spend the majority of my time alone. I am wanting to accept myself as a loner but hope you feel welcome here