I hope that things improve for you extremely swiftly. Your situation surely does sound like an exceedingly difficult one; I can understand that such a situation would make hope seem impossible. If it is any consolation, you have made it this far. Even in tears and in rock bottom, you are still able to communicate, still able to feel, and still able to understand. You are still here, even though a large part of you may want you dead. There is a reason that you are still here: there is still something in the world for you.
Stay strong, my friend, and may you soon experience a downpour of health, prosperity, serenity, and happiness.
To icyfire: Just showing that you care can often be the most comforting thing that a person can possibly offer. 