I tired.

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I am on disability but besides having aspergers I also have a condition that they consider to be preexisting and will not treat so I am still stuck with medical bills of over $1000 a month that I have to beg someone to pay for. This is a cruel freaking joke.

I'm in tears as I write this and I cannot do it any more.

I am sick and tired of being sick and nothing ever getting better. I'm tired of trying and nothing good ever happens. I was beaten and verbally abused my my parents and I cant take it anymore. I'm tired of drs giving me pills that don't work and only make the situation worse.

I just want to die and I have for the past 25 years.

I have never been really good at comforting people so I'm sorry that I can't think of anything soothing to say. I can only offer you a virtual hug over the Internet. *Hugs*

I hope that things improve for you extremely swiftly. Your situation surely does sound like an exceedingly difficult one; I can understand that such a situation would make hope seem impossible. If it is any consolation, you have made it this far. Even in tears and in rock bottom, you are still able to communicate, still able to feel, and still able to understand. You are still here, even though a large part of you may want you dead. There is a reason that you are still here: there is still something in the world for you.
Stay strong, my friend, and may you soon experience a downpour of health, prosperity, serenity, and happiness.

To icyfire: Just showing that you care can often be the most comforting thing that a person can possibly offer.

I was beaten and verbally abused my my parents and I cant take it anymore. I'm tired of drs giving me pills that don't work and only make the situation worse = not your fault. Trust yourself not "conditioning".

I am so glad you posted - keep writing as much as you need. You have a community here who really cares about you. If I had the means, I would jump in to help with those bills right now. It is entirely not fair - but hang on. We're here. LM